Are we all on the "PRIVATE SIDE" ?

It seems that a lot of us consider ourselves a "private person". Like it's hard to let people in, trust in people (cause we've been let down?) and feel entitled or worthy? Deffinately seems like like a weight/self esteem issue. Everytime I write something in my profile or on the posts, I think "wow.. I'm letting myself be seen" and letting people peak over the wall. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Agree or disagree?? Thanks, Tina

Tina, You are so right! If you look at my profile...you will see I have barely opened up...and if you knew me...I'm a pretty open person. But, to write down my emotions during this process has been the most difficult thing--and I'm a journalist..go figure. I do believe you are right about the entitlement/worthy issue. As much as I don't want to admit that..its true. hugs, Kimberly

Very true Tina. I always expressed whatever I was feeling through writing happy or sad I condidered myself a bit of a poet. Those feelings seemed "safe" there because I could express them yet nobody knew it was me if that makes any sense. I have been active in several on line communities over the last several years and always presented just enough. I didn't share alot of my personal thoughts and real life. This experience has been SO different in that respect because I'm not hiding this time. I have serious weight issues and now I am addressing them, that's scary to me. However I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone because I know that's the only way I am ever going to break out of the shell I have. I am fat. I can see it, you all can see it....and I mean you all can REALLY see it. The REAL me, not just the amount of me I let be known in a writing community or where ever. If anyone ever tells me that this surgery was the easy way out, I'm gonna punch em right in the nose! lol I have done more soul searching the last few months than alot of people do their whole lives! Linda

Hey, Tina... Can you say 'pen name'???? lol I wrote to my heart's content on my journal...but all under a pseudonym. It wasn't until about 4 or 5 months later that I came clean w/my real name. So, yeah...I totaly understand the privacy issue. And can I say one other thing? Even though my journey has become increasing more public after going back to work, I still have feelings of extreme privacy and protectiveness about my journey and this site and my AMOS friends. I shared this site with another woman at work who may be conteplating the surgery herself but as soon as I did that, I almost felt...well, is regret the right word? It's not that I didn't want to help her...I do...if she sincerely is interested. But my almost instantaneous feeling after doing so was...exposure. Exposure of my private life/journey with those I work with. I understand that this is a public forum on the Internet and can be found and researched without my assistance. But it's really easy to be lured into that 'private family feeling' on here, even though it totally isn't (private, that is...it certainly is a family). It's just that I'm not sure that anyone outside our circle will totally understand what we've been through and will continue to go through and if she herself doesn't go thru w/the surgery, I don't want to become a freak show and have my profile passed around. Does that make sense? (sigh) OK...I'm done rambling... (((hugs))) -Karen

Ha ... I just had this conversation with my mother yesterday. She wants to come and see my profile and all ... I simply told her NO ... not gonna do it. That even though it is in a public forum ... this is all private to me. And I don't really care to share my private thoughts knowing that my mom is going to read them. *rolling eyes* I have not shared this info with anyone ... there is only one person who comes here who I have known pre-pre-op and that is a long time friend who found me here when she was considering WLS but has since decided against it. Sometimes it is kinda weird when she emails me because I have not updated my profile. I never told anyone I was overweight before *giggle* and now because she reads my profile and see's my weight ... she knows my dirty little secret. ROTL