Father Time + Change = All of Us

I needed to focus so I am back to using this board for help and guidance.  Time is marching along and it seems like forever since the surgery.  I find it hard sometimes to remember the person I use to be prior to surgery.  I wonder is that a good thing or bad?  After all that person was me before the weight loss.  And the me these days I am not too happy with.  Its not because of the weight loss, its the way you handle the changes.  I know that this journey is all about change.  And change can be good and it could be bad.  But we must deal with all the cards we are dealt with from the change and feel confident that we can alway improve the change by working with it right. 

If we are eating wrong - its a change - its not a good one but its one we can control and with time we can turn it around.  We don't need to beat on ourselves constantly because we have done some bad eating.  We just need to look for the change in the habit and realize that new habits can overcome the bad ones.

Support groups are a good source to find information on creating new habits.  If you haven't been to one - you should give it a try.  Sometimes they seem overwhelming...you don't always want to open up to others because you don't think they would understand but in this community we all understand each other.  Why because we have similar paths from being obese to going through changes with the surgery of choice.

Father time has taught me alot.  I look at labels on foods - why because if I have too much fat or sugar in the foods I eat I go into my food coma.  I have to sleep it off or the stomach really hurts.  I also know when I don't exercise I get really grumpy....I love to walk - its become a fun thing for me....I have been the same size in clothing for a long time....I don't ever remember staying the same size for this long in my life.  Its so nice to say that I will wear the clothes out before I have to give them away.  I think that is an awesome way of recognizing that you don't have to constantly change clothes.  Although I am a clothes hound....I do like I can walk into a store pick up something off the rack and don't have to try it on.

Hope you all have found father time is working for you and if you add change to the ****tail its life!  What a wonderful thing huh.

I hope to catch up with all my friends soon and for those I don't know I look forward to meeting you as well.  We have a lot to learn from each other.  Listening can be a competitive advantage....

Debbie

Debbie, I am so glad you are back. You have always been an inspiration to me. I look forward to seeing you again at Victory and seeing your face on the board. I don't think you realize how many your words touch here. See you lighter and keep warm. I bought 2 very warm blankets at Cow Town Saturday. Boy are they nice. I am so warm with them. Joanne

Blankets and heating pads have been my best friend.  LOL.  Its funny how the illness I have loves the heat as well.  I do better when its warm...I call myself the sweater gal. 

I am glad that people appreciate the thoughts that go through my mind.  I have wondered why I don't do this like I did....the only thing I can think of is work burns me out with outlook messages.  8 hours a day communicating through e waves does take a toll.

But I do find posting thoughts helps me....and hopefully it helps others as well.  I am so glad to be able to come here and just write out the thoughts and not be judged.  I guess when I was heavier - no one wanted to bother with me let alone be around me and that left me alot of time.  Its sad to admit,

Hi Debbie,
It's great to see you pop in from time to time.  I can really relate to your "father time" theme and the fact that time and the surgery changes all of us.  I am ever grateful for having the surgery and losing the weight, but with that came some not so good changes that I must deal with every day.  Although my obesity related co-morbidities have either gone or been significantly reduced, age and irreversible disease processes still haunt me every day; osteoarthritis in my back, hip, and ankles, rheumatoid arthritis that so far only affects my hands and feet, chronic low iron/anemia that makes me feel wiped out most of the day, and the newest diagnosis of Raynaud's Disease.  Even though the weight loss has enabled me to be more active and mobile, the RA, OA, and RD severely limits what I can and can't do.  The fatigue makes me look like a lazy slacker, but when I just don't have the energy to do something, I have to depend on family to do things for me.  I feel like I traded one bad for another.  That alone makes me depressed which carries it's own set of issues.  I just feel like I am trapped in a vicious cycle that can't be broken.  I am young and in my mind, I *want* to be able to do for myself but I just can't, or I have to stop before the task is complete and wait for someone to fini**** for me.  Most of the time, it never gets done---they have lives to live too.

My heating pad is my best friend since the narcotic pain relievers just make me loopy. They take the edge off but I'd rather not take them.  I can't go winter camping any more because of the Raynaud's...sustained oxygen depletion from the fingers and toes can cause tissue damage and I could lose them.  I can't even carry food from the freezer to the kitchen without my fingers going dead on me.  My big toes are already permanently damaged and are numb all the time.  Not much can be done about that except to be extra cautious and protect them from the cold that I can't even feel.

In summary, the weight loss has added years to my life but the other health problems that persist make me feel like I am 80 years old sometimes. It's very depressing.  I DO take advantage of my mobility and get around and am more active but I have to limit myself.  I have never had to place physical limits on myself and that is very difficult to cope with.

My food issues are easy...I know when I've been bad and correct myself.  I might gain 10 pounds because I felt like being a pig but getting back to basics puts me back in the right place.
Keep dropping in and posting....we love hearing from you.

Kathy

You always manage to make me realize that this board is so beneficial.  I am with you with the trading off of illnesses since the surgery.  There are days that I wonder was it really worth it?  Maybe living as the "fat" person might have been easier.  But I don't know and I do hope things will get better for me but like you I am on narcotics and live to sit with my heating pads even in the summer.  I feel like I have aged so much...or have I always been this old just didn't feel or see it because of the weight?  I know what has happened to the body probably would have happened soon or later I guess but its hard.  Food issues seem so easy these days its the rest of the stuff that really is the challenge - living life.

Have a good one and thank you so much for sharing.