Step out of your comfort zone !
I can't help but to see how many hits a post gets and no replies ! Come on ! We need all to keep this board going. I heard something the other day at work that has stuck with me ! One of our teachers was doing a lesson to teens. His ending statement was : " Step out of your comfort zone ! Life is not meant to be lived under blankets " Boy is this so true. So many of us live under that blanket and are so afraid to step out . How well I know ! I had to crawl out myself ! Now that I am out , I refuse to let myself go backwards and crawl under them covers again. I have had many bumps in the road but I hope sharing them here has helped someone. You never know how your post will touch or help someone ! I know many has touched me ! I can only encourage all to share your thoughts and bumps in this journey. Our struggles will be there every day. It is up to us how we handle them. Yes it is easier to crawl under that blanket into our comfort zone but is that really living or just existing ? I choose to live ! How about everyone else ? Don't get me wrong I only existed for many years but they are in my past now. So in ending I will say : Step out and share with all here ! Post ! Post ! Post ! Please know you are not alone here. We are all in this journey together. See you lighter. Joanne
Hi everyone I hope you all had a good holiday and move into the new year safe healthy and happy. Ive been off here for a few days my computer hasnt been hooked up.
My dad has been sick and last week we had him in the ED thinking he maybe having a different type of stroke called struggling( according to his dr) we thought we would have him in there again over the last week and he also has been sick with vomitng , stuffy nose and stuff as well. I have been working and trying to bake for gifts this year so it has been busy. Dad is doing much better and no it wasnt a stroke thank goodness hes only 51. So now christmas is over , my tree is almost completely down, and I can start getting ready for the next thing that comes my way...lol I start classes through pheonix online for buisiness on jan 12th. So we will see how that goes.
And through all this im still losing and i did try some of what i baked...in small amounts of coourse. yeah im in a size 8 ......wow
Well Im getting back into the game of posting . And as joanne said im getting out of my comfort zone....hence going back to school. I know she meant posting and i plan on keeping that up too. I look forward to seeing how things are going...
AMy
My dad has been sick and last week we had him in the ED thinking he maybe having a different type of stroke called struggling( according to his dr) we thought we would have him in there again over the last week and he also has been sick with vomitng , stuffy nose and stuff as well. I have been working and trying to bake for gifts this year so it has been busy. Dad is doing much better and no it wasnt a stroke thank goodness hes only 51. So now christmas is over , my tree is almost completely down, and I can start getting ready for the next thing that comes my way...lol I start classes through pheonix online for buisiness on jan 12th. So we will see how that goes.
And through all this im still losing and i did try some of what i baked...in small amounts of coourse. yeah im in a size 8 ......wow
Well Im getting back into the game of posting . And as joanne said im getting out of my comfort zone....hence going back to school. I know she meant posting and i plan on keeping that up too. I look forward to seeing how things are going...
AMy
Amy, Size 8 ! You Go Girl ! I am glad you are getting out of your comfort zone and going back to school. That is my next step from under my own blanket ! I want to go to night school and take a CNA course. I am so glad Christmas is over. Next year I want to go on a trip instead of buying presents. BJ's mom would really think I was mean. I think Christmas is all about spending time together with family. Not Gifts !!! See you lighter. Joanne
OK OK Joanne, LOL, here is my post ha-ha. Popping in here to say hello to all DE folks, wishing you a safe happy holiday season and a healthy and prosperous New Year.
We are 3/4 of the way through our moving process out of my mother's house in Long Neck and into our own place up at Rehoboth. I cannot even begin to tell you how stressful this has been. I am eating like a pig out of stress and anxiety and have just resolved to putting a stop to this behavior once we are in and settled for good at the new place.
I think I mentioned that my mother is hell-bent on making this as difficult as possible. We had originally reserved a moving van for last weekend but at 10-pm on the Friday eve of the move she announced that she had plans for Saturday and would not, after all, be babysitting the kids. Now my kids are too little to be left alone, one of them has two medical conditions that need constant supervision as well, and they are also too little to tag along without getting underfoot.
So we postponed the move until this past Wednesday . . . got up early, went down to clear out my furniture from the storage room in Annapolis, brought it back up here in the rental truck. We had a friend in the neighborhood help with the heavy stuff. We still have several smaller items here at Mom's, plus several rubbermaid bins of clothing, toys, etc. that need to be taken over to the new house. All this time my mom is making noises about how she is having to watch the kids (our original agreement when I moved up here with them was that she would do this for me while I worked, etc.). Naturally my kids decide to show their asses all day, nitpicking tattling fighting. By the time we get done with the truck on Wednesday night, my mother is ballistic and being very cruel to my kids as well as us.
At 8pm Wednesday eve she decides that there is not enough under the Christmas tree from "Santa" and berates me for not providing enough toys and packages for the holiday. I had bought what I thought was plenty of stuff for them, but most of it I wrapped and tagged. Every holiday past, mom and I both will buy a couple of large-ticket items (last year was an air-hockey table, for instance) and set them out from Santa. I had told Mom that this year I just couldn't swing it financially, and I would only be buying 4-5 smaller toys apiece for each of them, plus maybe two or three more things under the tree. Well not this year -- she's convinced herself that I'd hidden a stash of money to move on and she was damn determined not to shell out any of hers. I had been telling both kids that this year was going to be a bit leaner than the past, that the deposits and moving costs to the house were making things tight this month, etc. Like I said, though, they had PLENTY of gifts, period.
We wanted to get to bed early Wednesday evening (having been up at 5am and moving all day) but she insisted I go back out to the store with her credit card in hand to buy BIKES for the kids. I tried to reason with her saying that (a) it is too cold to ride bikes right now and (b) we didn't have the time to supervise the kids on the road as we are in the midst of MOVING . . . (both kids haven't ridden bikes in the two years we've been here and would need one-on-one attention). She is having no parts of this, insisting that I am a poor mother for not having bought enough for Christmas. So I agree to get the bikes under the condition that they not be ridden until after the move is complete, as we could NOT stop unpacking to play.
We get back from K-mart with the bikes only to discover I've left my wallet at their cash register. So another trip up to the store . . . and back home where I fall into bed at midnight. Kids get up at 3am to see what Santa has brought, but I'm too exhausted to get up so I ask them to go back to bed. Naturally my mother thinks this is just horrible of me to torture them so she lets them get out of bed at this ungodly hour and they proceed to open presents, strew toys around, lose directions, batteries, parts of toys, etc. (She has of course gone back to bed and is not supervising, I am unaware of this until I get out of bed at 5:30am to referee an argument between the kids.) So the living room is a disaster. I get up and start cleaning and sorting, then make breakfast. The kids are both clamoring to get outside at 7am on their bikes, and the whining begins when I tell them no, it's too early. They pester the hell out of me until my mother tells them to go ahead outside and ride them. This means I have to stop what I'm doing (moving van still sitting out in the driveway as I'm still packing and loading the smaller stuff for a trip to the new house). Mom of course goes back to bed and I am left outside with the kids when I should be inside packing.
Finally gave up on the moving and packing for the days as the kids need constant supervision -- they need help with the toys, my son is having meltdowns when toys aren't working properly, etc. One of the most miserable Christmases I can recall. I get hardly anything else accomplished.
The moving van needs to be returned by 9am next morning so we set off early to take it back, only to find the place closed with no drop box for keys that I can find . . . now I am expecting my $150 cash deposit back so I can not only pay my helpers, but buy a handful of groceries, as we are suddenly out of bread, milk, the essentials. The place has apparently taken an extra day off for Christmas so I am screwed. Have to listen to my mother ***** and complain about me not providing food for my children, she's threatening to call CPS, etc. sigh. The upside is that I have use of the truck for an extra day so we get the bigger things out of mom's house and to the new house (which by the way is a total disaster). Friday evening I started taking things back and forth to the new place with my car, as I didn't want to rack up any more mileage charges on the moving truck. This isn't easy as my trunk lock has decided to malfunction, now we can't open the trunk and load it, I'm stuck with just the interior of the car to load (not easy when you have two children in the back seat because Mom has decided yet again not to help watch them). So I'm taking this 10-mile trip several times with just a couple of bins/boxes/bags of clothing at a time, wasting all kinds of gas and time. I can't just leave the kids up in the new house with anybody because of my son's diabetes and autism.
We get to a point Friday evening where we decide to stop driving and start getting organized, spent a couple hours in the house setting up the kitchen cabinets, putting pots/pans away, etc. We are in the living room hanging my two huge mirrors (about 100 pounds each) when the phone rings, it's Mom and she is SCREAMING and accusing me of stealing from her -- turns out she is all bent out of shape about me taking one of her kitchen butcher knives (in my defense, I have one very similar and they both ended up at the new house, it was an honest mistake). But because I did not drop everything and return this knife to her, told her to make a list of anything else she believes is missing and I would address it later, well, that wasn't good enough so she informs me that she is calling the police when she hangs up. At this point I am just crispy-friend DONE with her idiocy so I hang up and spend three more hours unpacking and organizing.
We get back to her house about 11:30pm and immediately are confronted, apparently she thinks I have swiped the extra key she keeps somewhere on the porch, she's demanding the return of this hidden key as well as another house key (NOTE -- I have NEVER NEVER possessed any keys to her house NOR was I aware there was an extra key on the porch). So she's basically accusing us AGAIN of stealing (right in front of the kids as usual) and this time I lose my composure and tell her we are going ahead and taking the kids this weekend for good, the original plan was to let them stay in school here in Long Neck for two weeks until I get the house totally unpacked and livable, and get my son's special education plan transferred and all of his supports in place at the new school.
So now today I am here packing up odds and ends, we have to be out tonight completely with whatever we are planning on taking as she will NOT be letting us back in for the rest of our things, according to her.) She went on and on about calling the police on me, as well as social services on Monday, so I am expecting some sort of official "confrontation" early next week. Really looking forward to THAT.
So that's my wrap-up for the time being. By the next time I post I should be headed to a rubber room.
-BJ
We are 3/4 of the way through our moving process out of my mother's house in Long Neck and into our own place up at Rehoboth. I cannot even begin to tell you how stressful this has been. I am eating like a pig out of stress and anxiety and have just resolved to putting a stop to this behavior once we are in and settled for good at the new place.
I think I mentioned that my mother is hell-bent on making this as difficult as possible. We had originally reserved a moving van for last weekend but at 10-pm on the Friday eve of the move she announced that she had plans for Saturday and would not, after all, be babysitting the kids. Now my kids are too little to be left alone, one of them has two medical conditions that need constant supervision as well, and they are also too little to tag along without getting underfoot.
So we postponed the move until this past Wednesday . . . got up early, went down to clear out my furniture from the storage room in Annapolis, brought it back up here in the rental truck. We had a friend in the neighborhood help with the heavy stuff. We still have several smaller items here at Mom's, plus several rubbermaid bins of clothing, toys, etc. that need to be taken over to the new house. All this time my mom is making noises about how she is having to watch the kids (our original agreement when I moved up here with them was that she would do this for me while I worked, etc.). Naturally my kids decide to show their asses all day, nitpicking tattling fighting. By the time we get done with the truck on Wednesday night, my mother is ballistic and being very cruel to my kids as well as us.
At 8pm Wednesday eve she decides that there is not enough under the Christmas tree from "Santa" and berates me for not providing enough toys and packages for the holiday. I had bought what I thought was plenty of stuff for them, but most of it I wrapped and tagged. Every holiday past, mom and I both will buy a couple of large-ticket items (last year was an air-hockey table, for instance) and set them out from Santa. I had told Mom that this year I just couldn't swing it financially, and I would only be buying 4-5 smaller toys apiece for each of them, plus maybe two or three more things under the tree. Well not this year -- she's convinced herself that I'd hidden a stash of money to move on and she was damn determined not to shell out any of hers. I had been telling both kids that this year was going to be a bit leaner than the past, that the deposits and moving costs to the house were making things tight this month, etc. Like I said, though, they had PLENTY of gifts, period.
We wanted to get to bed early Wednesday evening (having been up at 5am and moving all day) but she insisted I go back out to the store with her credit card in hand to buy BIKES for the kids. I tried to reason with her saying that (a) it is too cold to ride bikes right now and (b) we didn't have the time to supervise the kids on the road as we are in the midst of MOVING . . . (both kids haven't ridden bikes in the two years we've been here and would need one-on-one attention). She is having no parts of this, insisting that I am a poor mother for not having bought enough for Christmas. So I agree to get the bikes under the condition that they not be ridden until after the move is complete, as we could NOT stop unpacking to play.
We get back from K-mart with the bikes only to discover I've left my wallet at their cash register. So another trip up to the store . . . and back home where I fall into bed at midnight. Kids get up at 3am to see what Santa has brought, but I'm too exhausted to get up so I ask them to go back to bed. Naturally my mother thinks this is just horrible of me to torture them so she lets them get out of bed at this ungodly hour and they proceed to open presents, strew toys around, lose directions, batteries, parts of toys, etc. (She has of course gone back to bed and is not supervising, I am unaware of this until I get out of bed at 5:30am to referee an argument between the kids.) So the living room is a disaster. I get up and start cleaning and sorting, then make breakfast. The kids are both clamoring to get outside at 7am on their bikes, and the whining begins when I tell them no, it's too early. They pester the hell out of me until my mother tells them to go ahead outside and ride them. This means I have to stop what I'm doing (moving van still sitting out in the driveway as I'm still packing and loading the smaller stuff for a trip to the new house). Mom of course goes back to bed and I am left outside with the kids when I should be inside packing.
Finally gave up on the moving and packing for the days as the kids need constant supervision -- they need help with the toys, my son is having meltdowns when toys aren't working properly, etc. One of the most miserable Christmases I can recall. I get hardly anything else accomplished.
The moving van needs to be returned by 9am next morning so we set off early to take it back, only to find the place closed with no drop box for keys that I can find . . . now I am expecting my $150 cash deposit back so I can not only pay my helpers, but buy a handful of groceries, as we are suddenly out of bread, milk, the essentials. The place has apparently taken an extra day off for Christmas so I am screwed. Have to listen to my mother ***** and complain about me not providing food for my children, she's threatening to call CPS, etc. sigh. The upside is that I have use of the truck for an extra day so we get the bigger things out of mom's house and to the new house (which by the way is a total disaster). Friday evening I started taking things back and forth to the new place with my car, as I didn't want to rack up any more mileage charges on the moving truck. This isn't easy as my trunk lock has decided to malfunction, now we can't open the trunk and load it, I'm stuck with just the interior of the car to load (not easy when you have two children in the back seat because Mom has decided yet again not to help watch them). So I'm taking this 10-mile trip several times with just a couple of bins/boxes/bags of clothing at a time, wasting all kinds of gas and time. I can't just leave the kids up in the new house with anybody because of my son's diabetes and autism.
We get to a point Friday evening where we decide to stop driving and start getting organized, spent a couple hours in the house setting up the kitchen cabinets, putting pots/pans away, etc. We are in the living room hanging my two huge mirrors (about 100 pounds each) when the phone rings, it's Mom and she is SCREAMING and accusing me of stealing from her -- turns out she is all bent out of shape about me taking one of her kitchen butcher knives (in my defense, I have one very similar and they both ended up at the new house, it was an honest mistake). But because I did not drop everything and return this knife to her, told her to make a list of anything else she believes is missing and I would address it later, well, that wasn't good enough so she informs me that she is calling the police when she hangs up. At this point I am just crispy-friend DONE with her idiocy so I hang up and spend three more hours unpacking and organizing.
We get back to her house about 11:30pm and immediately are confronted, apparently she thinks I have swiped the extra key she keeps somewhere on the porch, she's demanding the return of this hidden key as well as another house key (NOTE -- I have NEVER NEVER possessed any keys to her house NOR was I aware there was an extra key on the porch). So she's basically accusing us AGAIN of stealing (right in front of the kids as usual) and this time I lose my composure and tell her we are going ahead and taking the kids this weekend for good, the original plan was to let them stay in school here in Long Neck for two weeks until I get the house totally unpacked and livable, and get my son's special education plan transferred and all of his supports in place at the new school.
So now today I am here packing up odds and ends, we have to be out tonight completely with whatever we are planning on taking as she will NOT be letting us back in for the rest of our things, according to her.) She went on and on about calling the police on me, as well as social services on Monday, so I am expecting some sort of official "confrontation" early next week. Really looking forward to THAT.
So that's my wrap-up for the time being. By the next time I post I should be headed to a rubber room.
-BJ
Bj, Sounds like she is the Mom from Hell ! Just remember she is your Mom no matter what. You don't hate her. Only the way she is acting ! Time heals all. She is hurting by your move and going about it all wrong. Please pray for her healing. You will be totally out of her house soon. Don't stress over it. You are in control of your own phone. Don't answer it when it is her for a few days. You can always drop the kids off to me and we have a truck here too. Just let us know what you need. My car is broken down and it is to exspensive for me to fix for a couple of weeks with the insurance deductions being taken out of my check. They are docking me 40 hours every 2 weeks for it. I could of cried when I saw it. You are not a bad mom ! Kids get to much today for Christmas. It is all a money racket. Poor grandma should of done her part and did her own shopping for bikes if she was so worried. Don't let her fill you with guilt. You are doing what you think is best for YOUR KIDS ! Keep your head up and be proud ! I think of you often. I am only a phone call away if you ever need to talk or vent. Or just stop by ! See you lighter. Joanne
Oh My...sounds like a hell of a time. Hang in there. Mother/daughter relationships are sometimes very difficult and time does often help. Just don't follow her behavior, as the kids are watching to see how you handle it. Concentrate on getting settled, the new home and the kids. And be grateful for the 10 mile distance!
Barbara
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