Update from Joanne

Just wanted to give all an update. It has been a bad week for Bob. He has not eaten in 8 days. He was drinking milkshakes when he could. Yesterday he wouldn't drink at all . He had blood in his urine. The nurse did call and said it sounds like his kidneys are shutting down and this is all a part of death. Today he is drinking carb countdown chocolate milk but still not eating. He is distanst and doesn't seem to understand his surrondings. He will answer you and repeat what you say. It has been a very hard week for me. We did go Thursday and make his funeral arrangments. I stay by his side most of the time. I want him to know I am there and have not left him. This is one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. I have not been on line. Debbie thanks for posting an update. I will be back strong once this part of my life gets back to normal. Right now I am very confused and feel like I am existing not living. I will get thru this for I have my faith. Just keep me in your prayers and know I will be back soon. I.will need a little time but I will get thru. See all lighter. Joanne

Joanne,
I am sure this is very hard for you, it never is easy to watch someone fade away.  As an old hospice nurse all I can tell you is get some rest, take care of yourself and just be with Bob.  Don't worry about his not eating.  Part of the dying process is that the body begins to shut down and really doesn't need any food.  In fact food can actually cause more discomfort.  So offer fluids and keep him comfortable. You might want to ask the nurse if it is possible that he has a urinary infection.  That is often the cause of confusion and blood in the urine.  Just a suggestion.
Barbara

Barbara, Thanks for the suggestion. His nurse will be here today. I have been told he is not eating because he is dying, he is not dying because he is not eating. Do you have any suggestions how to help kids handle this. My grandson who is 9 prays every night that PopPop will not die while he is asleep. It is always Please God let PopPop live one more day. He hates to say good night for fear of PopPop dying.  Thanks again. Joanne

Hi Joanne, you and your family are certainly in our thoughts and prayers. Have you thought about letting your grandkids speak with Lisa Hunt up at the elementary school? Maybe she can offer some help to your grandson. She has been working with my son this year, talking with him about self-esteem issues related to his embarrassment of having type-1 diabetes, and doing a good job with that?

-BJ

BJ, I keep in very close contact with Lisa Hunt. She has already had someone come to school and talk to both kids about cancer. Lisa has been a great help to me since I have had the kids. She is the best and a very caring person.  Her husband was killed when her kids were very young so she has experience raising kids alone too. How was Thomas's progress report. Robert did very well but Alexus is struggling with math and talking in class to her friends. She was a mess to deal with last night.  She is so jealous of Robert because he is so smart. I beleive she is smart too but she is more interested in socializing where Robert is not. Life goes on !!! See you lighter. Joanne

They are right he is not eating because he is dying.  We always want to feed people cause that is how women nurture the ones we care for.  But this time it is better not to try and encourage him to eat.  Things that are sweet are sometimes hard to tolerate.  But soup broth often goes down ok.  If he can't eat don't worry, the body can't use the food and he will only get uncomfotable if he takes in food.  I hope she checks his urine though, cause that is a quick fix.  Just keep him comfortable, give him whatever medicine the nurse thinks is best, and hopefully all will be well
I'll keep praying
Barbara

Barbara, She didn't think it was blood. She is going to put a knew cathater in on Wednesday and see from there. He did eat a couple of bites last night . He continues to drink. He remains confused when talking most of the time but sometimes says full sentences that you understand. He seems to yoyo. He is doing good and then out of it. He is back to not sleeping again. One day at a time. Thanks for your input. See you lighter. Joanne

My prayers are with you and all of your family.  Stay strong and take care of yourself.  You need to be healthy to get through all of this.

Love,
Ellen

Ellen, Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. How are things at school. I do miss working. See you lighter. Joanne

Joanne,
Thanks for updating us.  I'm sorry Bob is not doing well.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Judy