Feelings

Sometimes in this journey we find that bottling feelings is the only way to keep our sanity - especially when we are dealing with other things in life that often as an obese person we have turned them off or just plain ignored them.  I know this past year although I am fours years out from the surgery - I am still learning things about myself, this effort that the surgery provided (new life), and coming to terms with feelings.  Often I have felt that I have to be the best at things and help is not really needed.   That is something I have learned to be wrong with the help of my support buddies here and in groups.  Its really okay to ask for help - reach out when things get tough.   I have been neglectful of reaching out.  I guess old habits are really hard to break.  Bottling things away, not wanting to deal with them are really not alternatives for us to be successful with anything  we do in life be it with our weight or anything else.   Things I have been dealing with this last year have been the loss of a love one, gosh I never realized how difficult that is when it happens-reality was there but never really truly understood the magnitude it has on you as an individual, and how it helps you to grow as well.  Its a learning experience for sure.  Another thing is pain - pain can be the hardest thing a person deals with - mental and physical demands are with you consistently.  You are in the middle of what you think is  a wonderful journey - learning to eat better, exercise, and taking care of you and bam - pain and sorrow.  But what I really have found after one year of letting these things take over my life was - they can't.  I have to treat them as I have with the other aspects of this wonderful journey and only give them the power needed to help me fulfill the need of being me.   Just remember food is food, its power is what we give it.  Thats the same with other things in life.  Keep everything in perspective and know that its a phase of life.  You may not think these things have a positive help in your life at this time - but deep down there is always something positive you can take away - and use it to grow as a person.   Even though our pants sizes shrink, we as a person should be growing....so how are you accomplishing your growth?  Are you reaching out to others when you feel you need to?  Don't be afraid to share because with sharing comes growth. I do apologize for being away so long and taking forever to realize I need to be out there and helping, learning and most importantly growing! Hugs and Fleece Blankets to all. Debbie

Debbie, I am so glad you are back. Your post always inspire me. You have such wisdom that needs to be shared and read by many. If I am having a bad day your post always lift me up or slap me in the face with reality. As obese people we were helpers./ fixers. We were the ones to go that extra mile to fix another person . Then when we need help it is so hard for us to reach out. I have seen so much of this in people, even myself. Sometimes we feel weak but I have realized it takes a strong person to reach out , walk away and let someone else take over . Sometimes we are to involved in our feelings to handle things. I know from working in juvenile detention for over 20 years it took a strong person to walkaway and let someone else handle something when you were to involved. Many times i have pulled co -workers from a situiation and taken over when my feelings were not involved. On the other hand I had learned when I needed to walk away and let someone else handle it. We do get wrapped up in feelings and later realize  it wasn't all that after all. There are many things we must go thru in each journey in life. We do this for a reason but sometimes we don't realize it at the time. It all comes with wisdom. I have always said out of everything negative you can find something positive. Thanks again for the post. We all need to be there  helping, learning and most importantly growing. I am so proud to be doing this among the best. See you lighter. Joanne