re: food for thought

I am posting part of a message from a reply I sent to a friend.  Encouragement and a warning also. Consider it part of your research.  Feel free to add on to my list. Maybe we can come up with some profound knowledge to share with each other.  Food for thought. I would caution anyone contemplating Surgery that: (no specific order) #1 this is for life.  #2 This is not a short term fix.  #3 This is hard.  #4 The surgery doesn't fix our heads or emotions.  # 5 If you do decide to do this for your health, take advantage of your golden oppurtunity and learn good habits right from your 1st waking moment at the hospital.  # 6 Plan on exercising your fool head off to get the maximum out of this, for the rest of your life.  # 7 If you can, make your new addiction exercise instead of your love of food.  #8  Rethink WLS if you still want to have kids.  # 9  Don't have WLS without a great support system.  #10 Whether you decide to tell or not to tell others, remember you will have to deal with others comments forever. People are cruel and we can be very sensitive about our image. How we eat now & how much we eat can be a sore subject.  People we love, get critical. People we don't know have opinions. I suggest that you decide in advance How to handle some of this.  #11 I attend support group meetings so that I can be supported by others that feel as I do. If they don't, I try not to be critical, but empathetic with their personal struggles.( I do have an addictive personality. ) #12 Try not to whine too much. But if you need to, go ahead, we understand.  #13 Keep a journal/diary.  #14 This is not the easy way out. This is gonna be a bumpy roller coaster ride . Sometimes my fingers are tired from hanging on. But with each other we will make it.  I try to focus on the positive and wouldn't trade a minute of the last 4 yrs. Best decision I ever made was to get healthy. No more IBS, cholesterol, BP meds. YEAH!!!! Sleep Apnea cut in half. From a size 5x to a 12. ((HUGS)) Elissa RNY 1/26/04       down 190 lbs. 

I am a week pre op.. I am sitting here at 2:14 am. contemplating reasons for not having surgery. There are none...I have to do this. The positives out weigh the negatives and so do I. Surgery is going to happen for me and I will be on the other side in 7 days. There is no way around it. I need to lose this weight for my health and for my self worth and all that comes with those things. I know this will be a long hard road.. Regimented for the rest of my life as far as food and excercise go...I know I do not go this alone. I have much support from family friends OH and support groups. As far as my head and emotions... I know not what to expect until I get to the other side... This is what scares me most... The mind can be very powerful... I am bipolar and have suffered with mania and depression in the past.... Of course I am on meds for this and will continue treatment after surgery.. Everything seems to be in order....I think I'm getting over the two week freak... Slowly its all starting to make complete sense to me...and I'm having more peace with my decision. If my self esteem was in place I'd have no problems making the decision... I kept having the " This is a selfish move" theory. What am I talking about.!!!! This is the most unselfish thing I am ever going to do....My three children will benefit. My husband will benefit and my family and friends.. I have alot of people depending on me and I am giving them reason to love and be loved. I am a very important person in the people surrounding me's lives... Does that makes sense? I thought of someone I loved say my 8 year old son... Say he came to me with this decision in his life after I've seen him struggle with his weight.... I would grab him up and hold him and fully support his decision. I love that boy and need him in my life he is my light and lovey and I never want to see him suffer such agony... Why can't I just accept this for myself???? Well I do!! I wholeheartlly accept my decsion to have this surgery and love myself for having made it. I fully accept all my friends support and families encouragement as it comes from God above and is a true gift. This surgery has given me a second chance at life.. I am 36 and will literally be living another 36 healthier than before... Wow another whole lifetime of ups and downs... Yup I'll take it! What a gift! What a wonderful powerful unbelieveable gift... another 36 years on this earth surrounded by my loved ones...And "I" deserve it??? YES!                          GOD IS ALL LOVING!!  Thanks for listening to me if your still reading...lol 

You are so RIGHT ON with your post, however, my decision to have the surgery was based on my own needs...sound selfish?  Read on. I have spent my whole life caring for others, worrying about others, supporting others, counseling, nursing, yada yada, yada.  All the while, my own needs were never being met.  My own health and well being always took a back seat.  It nearly killed me.  Horrible arthritis, 3 heart attacks over an 8 year period with the last 2 less than a year apart, depression and anxiety, sleep apnea..all of the usual obesity related issues.  Blind to what was happening to me.  When my last stress test revealed another blockage that required a 5th stent implant, I woke up.  Reality hit me in the domepiece like a lead brick.  I prayed to Jesus for guidance.  It didn't take long for me to know what I had to do.  I did not have time, literally did not have the time to try dieting and exercise again.  My life was on the line here and I was scared.  I took the leap into the gastric bypass world, and Thank God I did.   I sought support from family; my mother and my sisters at first because I knew my husband and kids were there for me.  Mom was absolutely mortified that I would consider having major surgery "just to lose a little weight."  I said, "Mom, God!  I am 150 pounds overweight, not 20.  I have horrible pain, coronary artery disease, and most days, I don't care if I wake u*****t.  My husband can't even get his arms around me for a comforting hug, let alone have some sort of intimacy with me.  The kids are embarassed by me, and I spend almost all of my time laying in bed because I have no energy or ambition.  I am dying here, Mom."  My sisters had the same opinion..."you can lose the weight, you just have to try."   Oh My God.  I felt betrayed by their lack of support but instead of worrying about what they thought, I did what was best for ME.  It was at this point that I turned to Christ....He was all I had left. Right now, my life expectancy is doubled, I have almost no pain, my energy level is incredible, and I am only in bed at night.  I DO take naps still but no big deal...not like before.  I have lost 115 pounds since October '06 and can wear almost anything I want and look pretty good in it.  My girls and I go everywhere together, and my son is no longer embarassed by having a BigFatMama.  I can play with my grandchildren, and I can take the first parking space I see instead of searching for the one closest to the door.  And I have a sex life again.  'Nuff said. Do this for YOU, my friend.  I can see that your love and concern for family and friends is what drives you but at the same time, you have to be able to set their needs aside and take care of YOURSELF.  Best wishes and good luck on your surgery day. KathyG