Life in Fast Lane

I think I am trying to make up for lost time being invisible. Its funny I have asked for things to happen at work and they are.....They are happening so quickly I can't keep up and it scares me. I have wanted to be out front but my weight pretty much kept me in the back....now the weight is down...still a problem according to me but its a whole lot better than before surgery...and I have a lot more opportunities coming my way. People find me approachable and willing to work with me....okay there are a few that don't want to work with me but pooh to them right. I feel like I am running constantly and trying my best to keep up. My bosses are very happy with me....its me who is unhappy with me. Why can't I just be okay with things why do they have to be just so. How can I just be okay with performance instead of driving for the perfect range. I want to accept me as me....I am afraid that if I don't accept me that I will be back to where I was...I don't want to go there again...once is definitely enough. I like that people notice me now and they are very willing to work with me...that I am not my crabby self all the time and I smile more these days. Why do we try to make up for lost time...do we think it will help? Its really nice to say I can do a lot these days....I just wish I would pace it. Exercise is going well. I am almost back into a good routine with it...Its nice and feels good. Any one have any suggestions on how not to do too much at one time? Debbie

Debbie, It sounds to me like you are really trying not to go back to your old self and that is a real struggle for all of us. You have new capabilities and want to experience everything. I think you are testing your potential. There's nothing wrong with channeling your energy into your job, but there must be balance within yourself too. Maybe you can refocus and put more of that energy into yourself. I think even though we become more approachable, we spent so many years in the background being ignored, that it make us uneasy when we are noticed and someone seems interested. We don't know how to handle those feelings. All we know is it feels good and we want more. Take a look at what's on your plate today. Is it more than one person should try to handle in a day? Can some things be left for tomorrow? Can you initiate the help of family with household stuff, or a co-worker with work stuff? What things are you getting edgy about? Can you try and let some things just roll off your back? You can't do everything, every day. Just make sure you set aside some relaxation time for yourself each and every day. It's important in your physical and mental well-being. Good luck and slow down a little! Take care. KathyG

Thanks Kathy for a good response. Its something I do have to work on....its very easy to jump back into becoming ms invisible...letting things go and putting all into other things. Its something I did well for years! Old habits are hard to break... Great to read you are giving up the smokes....good luck with that venture. I did it but it was for health reasons. Debbie