It still feels sooooo good!

Well, gang, it's been a long time since I've even lurked on this site. I noticed there's been some screaming to get things livened up in here and it's so true. This board was my lifeblood when I was starting out and now I wonder how the newbies are coping without the support. I was two years out on Feb. 1. I still can't believe it's been that long. But, I wanted to let the newbies know they should enjoy this honeymoon period they're on. I never thought it would end, but it does, and sometimes you might even get depressed about the ending of the good life. I know I have been depressed for a while now. I lost 170 pounds, but 15 pounds have slowly started to creep back on. I keep renewing my efforts every week saying I'm going to get all the water in, get more protein in and stop grazing. But, every week passes and the weight remains. I try not to beat myself up because 155 pounds lost is still a great thing and I thank God every day for the surgery that I know has saved my life. However, the food demons are here and they are powerful. I love coming on here and learning everyone has the same troubles getting in the water and exercise. We are "normal" now and we have to remember there are "normal" people everywhere who struggle with losing that last 10, 20, 30 or 40 pounds. I know I can do it if I really put my mind to it. But, am I really ready to do that? I don't know. I think there's a small fear I'll work hard and struggle to get this last 30 to 40 pounds off, then I'll just gain it back like I have my whole life. Or, I could eat like I am now, whi*****ludes some grazing and eating sugary things every once in a while and staying the same weight I am, where people still tell me how great I look and I fit in clothes comfortably and can shop anywhere and fit in the airplane and those flimsy resin chairs in the summertime on friends' patios at barbecues. But, am I failing myself if I don't get to that "goal?" Tell me what you think. How are you coping? How do you feel about your weight loss and your goals? Let's discuss.

Hey Kristen, This is Carol Pryce and I'm sorry for the late response but so much has been going on since I last saw you. I am still about 180 pounds down but feel myself falling back into old habits. I could use the excuse that I am an emotional eater and going through a divorce but I have to really come to grips with this before I find myself gaining the weight back because sugar has become my worst enemy. Although when I eat foods with a high sugar content I get the sweats and my stomach does not feel so good I still continue to do what I know can hurt me and I think I need counseling to work through this because why would you accept discomfort for a moment of pleasure? I am at a loss but I think that I need to really start to practice the things I did from the beginning: low carb intake, 65 grams or more of protein daily, taking all of my vitamin supplements, drinking plenty of water and exercise. I think that if I fear gaining weight as much as I dreaded the possibility of dumping then I would be on the right track. If I never lose another pound I just want to maintain my weight so that I don't fall victim to comorbities that I got rid of after WLS. Also, my biggest goal now is to get back into exercising to get into shape since I was diagnosed with arthritis in my hip and will not require a replacement (by the way the pain is much better). Take care and I hope to see you soon. Prycey Lady RNY 2/2/05

Hi Kristen, I know how you feel about goals. I have had in the back of my head that I wanted to get to 160-170lbs, and when I said something to Dr. Wynn she told me that I should find a more reachable goal. She told me that I would most likely settle in somewhere around 180. I was ticked at first because I want to weigh 160. I am now at 196 and have lost almost 130lbs, so I am going to get to the 180, see how I feel and how I look and take it from there. If I can still get more off, then I will keep it going down, if not I will take 180, because it sure beats the heck out of 324. I feel great and at this stage of the game I am still doing all the things that I should be doing. Sugar makes me so I avoid that like the plague. I do need to exercise more, that is where I am lacking. I love to walk and walking outside in the winter was not an option for me because of work and the weather, so I am looking forward to the warmer weather, I will be out there again. Good luck Deanna

Hey Kristen and Gang, WLS changes our body, NOT our minds. It takes great effort to alter the way we think about food. I still love my Lucky Charms, and do have some once in awhile. Only recently has sugar started to bother me, so I now have to limit my indulgences. When I slip and have something from the "olden days", I have the same guilt feelings everyone else has. I ask myself, "what the heck am I doing? This stuff is NOT supposed to be going into my body since it is totally contradictory to my self-set goals for weight loss. It's going to make me feel like hell physically and mentally, but so what." Sometimes I get depressed and find myself thinking, "Sure I have lost a bunch of weight, and people tell me how good I look, but I am weak and didn't/couldn't do it without help from WLS---I've come a long way and I deserve this treat." Then I eat the damn Lucky Charms to comfort myself. I ate them twice the other day. And I was a mess for the next 24 hours. See? Our food addicted minds still try to sabotage our weight loss accomplishments. Some people can't overcome this thinking, and that is why they gain the weight back and stop following the program. For me, this type of thinking takes me back to where I was before WLS and forces me to remember why I did this in the first place. The mind is a very powerful thing. It can inspire and motivate, but life exerience and poor self/body image, even AFTER losing the weight, can defeat us. The support group meetings and this forum can become our only lifeline to positive thinking. That is why I made such a desperate appeal to get things moving here. We need each other, if for nothing else but to vent. Thanks everyone, for being there and listening, sharing, and caring. KathyG