Looking for my focus...

Has anyone seen my focus? Its been missing for awhile. I think things went south with Gram's illness and I haven't been able to get it back. I have taken on more and more and I am not excelling in these things like I like to. The job has been trying but I still think I can save it. I like the industry and I can grow there. I know I can. Its just the stress of the relationships that are really getting under my skin. The one girl and I are getting along now...thank god! The other two....well the one seems okay with me alone....the other lets just say she needs to stay away from me...she is lethal and so is the boss of my boss.....she is lethal as well. So what I am learning is people stress me out. When I stress I eat crap....I won't say its all crap but its high in calories and I forget about me. Hottie surgeon visit went as expected yesterday....I was told to get to the nutritionist with this gain now....I have to get on the band wagon and start writing stuff down otherwise the nutritionist can't help. How do I do this with school, work, home, etc stuff. How do I get back to doing for me. Classes are tough.....I am not sure I am going to make it. The reading is harder than I thought it would be but then again anyone who lived the History of the Holocaust had it harder. Work is giving me some challenging assignments....and I love them I just don't know how I am going to do them plus the day job......Balance of powers. How do we juggle everything. Do I have to let something go? Can I do it all and keep my sanity? I feel like sanity left me last year. Where is that post op person I knew? I wish she would come back. Debbie

Not surprised Deb. It certainly hasn't been an easy year for you. Our lives are kinda crazy. I feel fortunate even with all the nonsense going on in my life that I am healthier and can deal with life's stress's better than before. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Thats the positive part of me that keeps looking for that silver lining. Stinking thinking is what got us in trouble before. So think healthy positive thoughts. And for gosh sakes have an apple martini if ya need one. ((HUGS)) Elissa