Reaching out.....kinda, but not really long.

Hi Gang it's been a while since i have posted here, but i am in need of help. First, does anyone know when the next saturday support meeting there is in New Castle County? thats my only day that i may be able to make a meeting because of my work schedule. I have had chances to attend a few saturday meetings at PMRI over the last few months, but honestly, i have been too embarrassed to go because i know, in my mind, that i have been failing and i couldn't look anyone in the eye. I am in search of a meeting because over the last 13 months, i have been going through so much pain and stress. I have been to 5 funerals, 3 of which were from my own family, including my mother. In that time since the end of September 2005, i was at my lowest weight and felt like i was on top of the world. Now, 13 months later, that has all changed, in my time of grief, i have turned to some old habits and have put on a great deal of weight. If disgusts me that i had done this to myself. Over the last few months, i have started working out again, drinking more water and watching what i have been eating. I have turned to my wonderful friend Debbie (Deb Deb) this week and she has been helping me get back on track and i can't thank her enough. We email everyday and i report to her what i have been eating, etc. She has been so very helpful and i truly cannot thank her enough. She has been my saving grace. I'm not looking for any sympathy because i know what i have done and i have been very hard on myself with this issue. If you could just keep me in your thoughts and prayers that i get this thing turned around and back to where i was 13 months ago, i would greatly appreciate that. I promise to keep you updated on my progress! Debbie, thank you again for helping me with this. you are an incredible friend and it means more to me than i can even express. Love to you all! -Joe-

Hey Joe, , don't beat yourself up. You have had a lousy year. 5 people, that is too many to deal with in such a short time. God Bless you. I have had a tough year too, but I thank God that I'm healthy so that I can deal with all the stress around me. Weight gains are not easy to handle under the best of cir****tances. You know you have tons of friends to rely on. Unfortunatley our heads are harder to convince. Old habits and our self-image needs a kick in the a_ _ sometimes. hang in there. We love ya. Hope to see you soon. ((HUGS)) Elissa Here are the next 4 mtgs at PMRI. Monday, Nov 13th 7pm-8pm. Plastic surgery after WLS Saturday, Nov 18th 10am-11am. Holiday eating tips Monday, Dec 4th 7pm-8pm. Nutrition after bariatric surgery. Saturday, Dec 16th 10am-11am Managing pitfalls that lead to weight gain. Healthy Beginnings meets on the 2nd Thursday, Healthy Journey meets on the 3rd Tuesday.

Hey Joe, I hope that things get better for you in the coming months. Losing someone is never easy, I'm out at your site a lot, so if you ever want to chat give me a call at 477-1972. I eat a lot chili in your cafeteria. It's great that you are starting to work out and increase your water consumption. Those are positive steps toward getting you back on track. Don't worry about where you were, just start thinking about where you want to get. Also, I would suggest that if you want some real good advice to get help from (other than your angel Debbie) try the Men's Forum on this site. There are some incredible individuals on that site that can give you guidance. Thoughts and prayers headed in your direction, Rob

Hi there Joe, I am sorry to hear about your stress that you have been going thru. I for one know exactley what stress does. Phew It's not easy but we have to get back on track and put one foot in front of the other and move ahead (again for me). For me it didnt take look when stress took over for ''old habits'' to creep in and the results in my health (Yes I realized I am still a Diabetic when my Blood Sugars rose high) were shown to me. Others around me dont understand which makes it hard but I will make it as you will! Hang in there Joe!!!!!! Take care...Sharon

Joe, I, too, am sorry to hear all you have been going through. Please come back to the meetings. The support and love that you will find will lift you up and help you through this hard time. There is NO shame in what you have been going through. There are lots of people in the same boat as you. Most let it get away from them and don't find someone to help them. You have taken some giant steps and that is wonderful. I am finding that I am falling into the same stress patterns as before. Eating was always how I dealt with things and it is still there. Candy and sugar don't make me sick unfortunately and I am popping them in my mouth way toooooooooooo often. Hang in there and keep us posted on what is happening. And don't let the fact that the EAGLES are not doing so well right now get you down either They will make a comeback and so will you. I am praying for you and am here if you need someone else to talk to. Maybe we can help each other. ((Hugs)) Ellen

Joe, I am so sorry for all your losses this past year. My heart goes out to you. About your weight gain - please keep in mind, your weight gain or loss does not define who you are ... a wonderfully caring man, it simply defines your size. So you have put on a little weight ... guess what, we all had/have eating problems, thus our need for the surgery in the first place eh? So if anyone understands you turing to food in a time of stress, it would be those that also have the same coping mechanism. I found myself stuffing food into my mouth the other day after a stressful visit with some family. I turned to my hubby and said, "Stress eating?" He laughed ... yes, it was, and it was good to take notice and call that horse exactly what it was. With the label, I was able to put the food down and calm down another way, in my case, talking it out. But this was not always the case ... it took me a long time to recognize the stress eating, but once I realized it, then I was able to actually do something about it. Truly Joe ... it is not easy, and the road is not always paved with smooth stones ... there are many cracks, crevices, hills and some downright mountains in this is a big ole process. To journey through it, the docs give us a rerouted stomach, but we also need to reroute our brain processes when it comes to dealing with foods. And this my friend is so very far from easy for many of us. I have another friend who is dealing with sugar right now and has put on some weight. Even still, they can not put down the chocolate. Do I fault them ... no way. I so understand .... and there are times I am right there with them. The best we can do is to try to help one another through all these struggles. One day we may be helping you, the next day, you may be helping me ... and on and on. We are all in this together ...absolutely no need for shame around here. I am thrilled that you recognized that you needed help and asked for it. That is what will make the difference for us Joe ... I am not sure any of us are Lone Rangers ... but even if we were ... The Lone Ranger had a sidekick Tonto! LOL Please know that you are so not alone Joe ... and also know that everyone is pulling for you to jump this hurdle and I am willing to bet most if not all would be willing to even help lift you across it if necessary. Many, heartfelt hugs to you!!! Tammy

Joe its good that Deb Deb is willing to reach out and do what she does for you. She is an exceptional woman for sure! I guess that is why she became an Angel. Its hard with regain....you think I had this surgery...you're on the road to recovery...you can do anything on this road but all you need sometimes is a pebble that diverts you from this way....The pebbles of life will always be there for us. We have to recognize that they are there. Come up with a stragedy to deal with them. Ignoring them is not an option for us. I think that was a mechanism that got us all in trouble in the first place. But you are not ignoring the problem now and that is good. The support groups are great. We do have quite a few in the area that I do love going to because when I need the help they are there for me....when I don't I can give it to someone that does need the help. I have been dealing with stressors of life, Granny dying, New Job, and I never realize before how hard these things are to deal with....I do now and I am learning. I hope that you continue to learn like I do....See you at the meetings soon. All for one and one for all! We can fight the fight. If we couldn't would we still be here? Debbie