ROLL CALL - Okay folks - time to check in with old & new friends w/a quick update! Photos...

Okay, I just read a thread from Pastor Faye about the need to check in ... and she was so right!!! I thought that perhaps a old time Roll Call might be in order??? What do you all think? I sure do miss you all!!! Soooo ... If you happen across this thread, please take a sec and post a quick update or just slip in to say hello. If you feel inclined, post a pic to help encourage or at the very least so everyone can see what you look like now in the event they happen to run across you while you are out and about ... otherwise we may not even know you now? LOL FYI - photobucket.com offers free photo hosting if you want to put a pic up to share with all here. I guess since I am starting the roll call, I should start eh? I will be 3 yrs out the end of this month. I am doing well for the most part. Good days, bad days ... but all in all, doing well. I still have issues with body dismorphia and still see myself at 300+ pounds sometimes. Stinks but it is true. I find I do my best when I don't compare my journey with those around me. Likely this will lesson IF I ever go for the reconstructive surgery? Who knows? But on the whole, things are pretty good around here and I am becoming more accepting of my body where it landed. While I am not a huge fan of cameras - they so tell the truth (LOL), which I don't always want to know!!! Just the same, I am going to try and share a few pics with you all. EDIT here ... I could not figure out how to post the actual pics here on OH, so I am simply posting the links to the pics ... sorry guys! Assuming I am doing this right ... here is a pic of a pre-op dress and a little black dress I just purchased - pretty significant difference that I try to hold onto when I am feeling like a failure at all of this. http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/DimplesDimples/beforeafterdress.jpg Here are a couple of pics of me in that dress BTW - The new dress is a size 4 - yep, a 4 on my body AND I can still breathe!!! http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/DimplesDimples/dresssize4.jpg http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/DimplesDimples/lilblackdresssize4dress.jpg Here is a strange photo of me taking a pic of me in a full length mirror which was tilted strangely thus I look a bit hippy! LOL http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/DimplesDimples/selfportrait.jpg For those who do not know me - here is a before pic for comparrison sake http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/DimplesDimples/beforecompositefinal.jpg Well come on folks ... lets hear and/or see what you have been up to lately!!!

Hi B.B., this board is pretty quite for the most part anymore. It is sad, because last year everyone was always posting and now we are all so busy it is hard. I am 6 1/2 months out and I am down 101lbs. I went shopping the other day and went to the misses section instead of the women's section. That made me extremely happy. I fit in a size XL(16-18) according to Wal-mart standards. I did not get the job that I wanted, but I think that is their loss not mine. I don't have any updated pictures to post, I still would rather be behind the camera instead of in front of it. Life is good here though and I am as happy as can be. Have a great weekend. Deanna

Deanna, you are doing excellent! Congratulations!!! About the job ... one door closes another opens. Hold strong until you find the right fit for you and your workplace. I agree, their loss, but honestly it is your gain that you found out now instead of later when you were smack dab in the middle of that workplace. Behind the camera ... I do understand. I prefer to stay on the at side also ... it allows me to live in my own little world without having to face the cold hard reality that I have rolls, wrinkles, and a few extra pounds that could stand to be gone. But just the same, I do hop in front of the camera once in a while for a reality check. I don't normally post those pics for the world to see ... but made an exception this time to share with my friends on this board and to show that not everyone makes it down to 110 pounds but it is still okay. Ya know? Just like you said - life is still good and I am as happy as can be!!! Take care of yourself - keep pushing your protein - get those vitamins in and keep that wonderful attitude at the forefront of your mind!!! You are doing an awesome job!!!

Tammy...You LOOK AWESOME!!! I'm so very proud of you! How did you get passed the dreaded plateau? I'm doing great. I'm a size 10..trying to get to an 8..I'm 5'8"..so thats my goal...close! I had a hysterectomy last year..and that slowed me down a bit. I had my plastics this year on my tummy and augumentation. Here's a link to my recent picture..go to: www.cheekymonkey.com click on about...its my new business. I'm still working on the gallery and links..its not all up yet. Are you still in maryland? Did you move? I'm still in Dallas and love it! I still regret I didn't get to go to more support groups...What a wonderful bunch of people ya'll are! I can't believe i'm 2 years out..but doing well. My health is the best it has been. I finally have my anemia under control etc. Congrats girl! You look awesome! Kimberly

Hey Kimberly, I have thought of you often and wondered about how you were doing with the anemia. SO GOOD to hear all is well in that department. Thank you for your compliments ... I am still trying to come to terms with everything and am still pretty certain that the size police are going to come along real soon and nark me out!!! LOL FYI - I don't wear a size 4 in everything ... but I do wear a size 4 in this particular dress!!! LOL The plataue??? I never got over it ... I simply have walked around it, jumped on it ... played with it ... etc. The weight loss was the best the first 6 months, the body/fat ratio was the best the past year or so. Go figure ... I still dont' have the answers. I found my best size reduction and body firmness when I was on a rigid workout schedule. As soon as I slack, so does my body. I had my son and his wife living here with us this spring and summer. Money was tight, as was time. My food and exercise suffered as did my body. I didn't put on weight, but it redistributed. LOL It is funny how fast I can move it for the good or the bad!!! Yep, I am still in MD. I tried to get to your link but it won't give me access??? You are two years out ... I am three ... it is crazy how fast the time has went!!! Continue to take excellent care of yourself!!! It sure is good to hear from you!!! HUGS!

Deanna, At first you don't succeed....try try again. Trust me that is what I did to get into Boeing. I applied there over 6 years ago. I had an interview and I didn't get the job. I was kinda of crushed. I knew I had the background but didn't understand why the job never came my way. Well six years later I get the chance to join their team...and what a big team it is. I am finally there and I have these feelings of I want to leave. I am glad I have a boss who is not willing to give up on me.....I feel like this negative chatter that came to my head the first week there is starting to change for me. I do remember when I went to the Bank (a hundred years ago) I felt this way.....But I hung out and I had a good time. I try to take myself back to that time....I lost a lot of weight then as well so I wonder if those negative feelings were related to what I am experiencing now. Its hard for me to put it altogether....I guess its old age creeping up on me. LOL. Changes in the job will come and the opportunity time will be right for you. Hang in there. The right job will come and you will be so surprised and happy when it does. I know I felt this way...then I allowed the negative chatter to take over and make me a mess! You seem to be more positive than I about yourself so you will probably do just fine when the time comes to spread your wings and fly. Just remember to stay focused on your goal.....keep trying the door to the place you absolutely want to be at.....it will open soon. And you will be a great success there. Because they did not see you as the candidate they need at this moment...there will be a moment that they will see you and know you are the one for them! Keep trying! Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

I just wanted to say...I have missed you my twin! Glad things are going well with you. A size 4.....I am sooooo jealous! I can't seem to get out of the 16's I am in. I am not complaining but it would be nice to get to a 12....One day right! Having problems staying focused on me. Lots of it is new job. And stresses that come with that territory. I believe there is lots to learn...too much coming at me now to absorb right now....And I want to be total sponge and do things my way.....I know how to do it if left alone. The girls that are trying to help make things harder for me. I need to learn BOUNDARIES. How to set them with co workers. Is there anyone out here that can give me hints on doing this. I believe that is something I don't know how to do and not sure I ever did. Its causing a lot of problems in weight department. Dumping pounds on vs off. Not a good thing to do. I love the new photos and so glad you are so comfortable. You have done an amazing job. Hugs and Fleece Blankets, Debbie

(DEBBIE) good to "see" you again!!! Sorry to see you are struggling - I so understand, as I still struggle also - although the length of the struggle and the amount of them do seem to be diminishing as I set boundries on how I allow others attitudes, words or actions to affect me. That said, setting boundries is very helpful and easy AND YET so hard. I have been working on this the past couple of years myself. One thing I can tell you is ... it does get easier with time and practice. BUT even if it pains you to do it now, you need to do this for yourself, your health, both physical and mental. Love yourself to say no to others when warranted. Love yourself to say no, when not warranted at times. Love yourself enough to stop feeling guilty and need to prove yourself superwoman to those around you? Not sure this is where you are, but it is where I came from thus where I am drawing my experience and advice. Here are some links that may help you find some direction to start. If you find you can not do this on your own, truly do not hesitate to talk with someone about it who can help you determine how to set boundries for yourself. This one is a lighthearted but I thought it was totally cute and a good way to start the day. http://redbook.ivillage.com/you/0,,sx8x-p,00.html http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page14.htmlhttp://www.usatoday.com/money/jobcenter/workpla ce/lifeworkfamily/2002-11-26-set-boundaries_x.htm http://www.mommd.com/settingboundaries.shtml http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ExpertAdviceToolbox.asp Hang in there sweetie, you have done an awesome job. Just look how far you have come ... a 16??? Where did you start? You are totally awesome, and you should never diminish that even for a nanosecond!!! Someone gave me wonderful advice that I would love to share with you if you don't mind ... Unless we accept where we are and acknowledge our success, it will never be a reality in our mind, thus it will be so much easier to return to where we came from. So honey, accept your success as it has been awesome. If you ever get to visit the 12's great ... if you never get there, that does not make you any less successful. Our success is not determined by a number on a scale or a number on an item of clothing. It is determined by the change in our lives for the better. For me it is determined by my ability to actually live now instead of sideline all the time. My ability to move, even though there are still days when this ole body hurts. My ability to finally love myself as I am, extra skin on the tummy and all is truly one of the most freeing experiences I have had in life. Do I wear size 4 in everything ... not a chance ... would I like to - YEP! BUT, I simply can not allow that to determine how I feel about myself nor how I face my life. Life is so short at best, I have already lost too much of it when I was obese and scared to face others ... I refuse to allow the remainder of my life to be ruled by the scale/size chart/or words of those around me. Please do yourself a favor and love yourself enough to do the same for you. BTW Debbie, truly you are a sweetheart inside and out ... I have always appreciated you and your ability to look deeply into others. Now is the time to look at yourself - on the surface. Yep you read that right, on the surface!!! Look in that mirror and say to yourself that you are worthy, you are loveable, you are a good person. Start looking at the extra skin for what it is ... a tribute to a fight well done. A battle scar if you will ... wear it with pride knowing it shows the depths of your strength to endure the battle you have just went through. Be proud ... be strong ... say no to others and yourself when it is not good for you. Say yes to others who try to build you up and say yes to yourself and allow you to take care of you, both physically and mentally. I love ya girlie and see how very special you truly are ... now do the same for yourself.

Your Footprints in this journey has helped me tremendously! Glad to be following behind ya! You are right about the great "SuperWoman" mentality that I do have. I wonder if that has always been with me or only as long as I was obese? I am always trying to reach deep within to figure out where this all began but perhaps that is not needed. Maybe I should just concentrate on surface and the layers will come. Its funny that you say about we go back to old habits or things because of comfort. I have been feeling that way for the last few weeks. The end of this week was the first that I thought...do I really want to go back? I left for different challenges and wanting to expand my horizon. I can do it where I am at and for me its just getting to know my surroundings, what people do, where I can fit in. I was a happier person on Thursday there...they actually gave me things to do....I didn't do them as well as I would like but its the first time out and I will learn from my mistakes and hopefully not make the same ones again. But if I do....I can correct them. I must start to realize not everything needs to be perfect. Sometimes just acceptable is okay too! The acceptance of me as I am is a hard road. I have just started to look at my reflection in the last month or so and say...Man is that you??? I actually can stare for a few minutes and appreciate me. I had a portrait done last Christmas for hubby that is displayed in the living room. I look at it and think WOW you have come along way. Because around the house in other rooms there are pics of my 32+ size body that I thought at the time was not too bad. Yeah I guess I was on the island of Denial. I often wonder with this journey of healing how long things take. Its funny in the beginning I thought...two years and I will be a normal person (whatever normal is) and now I see it differently. I see I have had issues that I have ignored and not sure how long I have done that. And these are the things that need the attention. Not the clothing I wear, the food I eat, its the mental things that drive this bus. Your words here have helped me alot to identify areas of concern. They have also validated some things in my mind for me. Surrounding yourself with positive people takes the place of the layers of fat protection.....My boss is a wonderful man and a good sound board. I am very happy to have him. With all the negative chatter in my head he is one that is always positive about things which is starting to rub off on me. And you know what....that is such a good thing. I don't think I have had too many positive people in my past life....I am so glad that the tide is changing and that I have so many wonderful people in my life that are positive and focused...I am so grateful for having you as well as some of my other support family here. We are more alike then we like to believe. And discussing our struggles can always help someone else identify how they can get their hands around the problem. I am a good person, I am strong, I am willing to give this opporunity a try, I will succeed in goals of being the best person I can be......I WILL BE HAPPY WITH THE CURRENT ME....Because the current me is really who I am. Who you are is who you created. (((((HUGS))))) Thank you for sharing and helping me! Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

HUGS to you Debbie!!!