I'M TERRIFIED--IS THIS NORMAL?

My surgery is two weeks away (November 2). Feelings of terror are starting to set in. Is this "normal"? I have my pre-op appointment with the surgeon on Friday (10/20). But, I gotta tell ya. . . .I'm having morbid thoughts.

Hello Melissa, First let me say congratulations on your surgery date. The feelings that you feel are very normal. Fortunately, I was lucky I was anxious for the surgery and my hubby did all the worrying. Don't worry everything will be fine and you will "calm down" Many Blessings... Christie

Thanks, Christie. My husband is pretty worried, too. He didn't say anything about his anxieties until I voiced mine! LOL He's been very supportive throughout this whole journey. I'm definitely going to need all the support I can get!

Melissa, anxiety is normal at this point. Sounds like an "Angel" might help out. An has usually had the surgery and can help from experience. An mentors the newbies. All you need to do is ask. Try to remain focused and positive. Take a deep breathe. Get yourself in order and try to relax. I had 2 weeks of "Last Suppers". Favorite food I never thought I'd eat again. This is all to be expected. If you can get to a support group meeting do. Once you talk with post-ops, you may be more sure of your decision. Then again if you have not done a lot of research, you might want to do a little more before the final hour. Read profiles of other folks. Double click on their names and it should bring up their profile. You'll see that we have all had our moments. Are you doing the right thing? Have you really tried every diet known to man? Will I ever be able to eat real food again? How will I ever be able to exercise? Honey, trust me, there is a life after WLS. I would do it agin in a heartbeat. For me personally it has been a great journey. No more high BP, no cholestoral or IBS meds anymore. Sleep apnea cut more than in half. Quality of life was to become healthy, (which was my main goal to begin with.) I have made tons of new friends that have helped me along the way. Above all, know that you are not alone. I hope you have family & friends that will support your decision and help if you need it. We are all here to listen & give advice or send you to the Dr's if we don't know the answer. For now get the chap stick ready for the hospital. I hope you have found a protein drink you like. You'll need it for the 1st year at least. Have you found chewable Vitamins, Calcium, B12 that you like? Iron also if pre-menstral. I hope this helps a little. Don't hesitate to ask. We're all here to help. ((HUGS)) Elissa

Thanks, Elissa. I've actually done a lot of reading and research regarding the surgery. I have the book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies", and it's great. It took me two years of contemplation and research to get to my initial consultation. And yes--I have most certainly tried every diet known to man--even made up a few myself! I purchased my vitamins and supplements weeks ago, and have most of the supplies I will need post-surgery. My husband and friends have been very supportive and encouraging. Your "Last Supper" note struck me funny as I am having "Thanksgiving" Dinner this Saturday!!!! I have about 25 people coming over!!!! LOL My latent fears have become more prevalent--especially when insenstive people say things like "I have a cousin who had that surgery and was in a coma for two weeks." Good grief! Intellectually I know that my surgeons are very experienced, talented and have a great track record. Just gotta get past this!!!

Melissa, Terrified is the most normal feeling before surgery. I personally know of 4 very important men in your life guiding you through this journey (Carl, 2 beautiful sons and ofcoarse God.) You also have my support and knowledge of what you are going through to help you. I am just a phone call away, you can call the office anytime. Take a deep breathe and enjoy being on the losing side. Call me if you need me... Joy

Thanks, Joy. I've been fine up until now. I know I'm doing the right thing with the WLS, but the risks are so scary. It especially doesn't help when you get the nay-sayers who "knows someone who had the surgery, and they almost died." People can be so insensitive! I'm excited at the prospect of getting my life back, and having my weight finally under control again. I love my boys so much and I want to see them grow up. I also want them to be as proud of me as I am of them.

I know of several whom have had serious complications and have come through with flying colors. Your recovery will be based on how well you have prepared yourself both mentally and physically. Mental preparation is most important. Realize that you've done your homework and know exactly what you will be facing for the rest of your life. And be confident that you made the right decision for you. Do not let other's negativity sway you or make you uncomfortable with your decision. Do what the doctor's tell you to do, up your protein intake and maybe attend a support group meeting or 2 before your surgery date. Good luck and keep posing!

Thanks, Dineen. Everyone's words of encouragement have really helped. I do plan to attend this month's support group meeting (they only meet the last Tuesday of the month at the Chrias location, right?). I know this is the right decision for me. It's just facing my own mortality with a procedure like this is very unnerving. . .know what I mean?! Thanks for your kind words. They really have helped! Two weeks from this exact moment, I will begin my new life!!!!

Melissa, Here are the support groups for Delaware. I know of a mtg in nearby PA if you are interested, just email me. I've included contact's with their email addy's & some phone numbers if you have any questions. I've been to most of the meetings throughout my journey the last 3 yrs except the downstate ones. They have helped me alot. Next PMRI meeting is Saturday, Oct 21 from 10am til 11 am. The topic is vitamins & minerals. Very important info for the rest of a WLS persons life. The mtg after that will be on Monday evening, Nov 13th, 7 pm til 8 pm on plastic surgery. Dr Danyo will be the speaker that evening. ? PMRI (Preventive Medicine & Rehabilitation Institute) When: Varies (Usually the First Monday & Third Saturday of the Month) Affiliated with Christiana Institute of Advanced Surgery (CHRIAS) Location: PMRI-Christiana Care, Wilmington, Delaware 19807 Contact: 302.661.3000 ? ST. FRANCIS BARIATRIC SUPPORT GROUP When: The last Tuesday of the Month at 6 pm - 7:30 pm Affiliated with Christiana Institute of Advanced Surgery (CHRIAS) Location: Apex Med Ctr Suite #103 537 Stanton-Christiana Rd. Newark, Delaware Contact: Maryellen Sparks Phone: 302.421.4121 E-mail : [email protected] ? GREAT BEGINNINGS WITH GASTRIC BANDING (Lap Band) When: First Thursday of Every Month at 7:30 pm Location: Concordia Lutheran Church, 3003 Silverside Road, Wilmington, DE 19810 Contact: Sharon Hollis Phone: 302.545.4017 E-mail: [email protected] ? DOWNSTATE DOWNSIZERS (Lap Band) When: The fourth Wednesday of the Month at 7 pm Location: Jim ****er's Home, 56 Planters Run Court, Dover, DE 19901 Contact: Carrie Bronersky Phone: 302-659-5597 Email: [email protected] ? HEALTHY BEGINNINGS When: Second Thursday of Every Month at 7 pm Location: Concordia Lutheran Church, 3003 Silverside Rd, Wilmington, DE 19810 Contact: Rob Siers Email: [email protected] Contact: Elissa Hart Email: [email protected] ? NEW BEGINNINGS When: Second Thursday of Every Month at 7 pm - 9 pm Location: St Peter's Episcopal Church 22 Union Street, Smyrna, DE 19977 Contact: Ginger Barkley Phone: 302.653.5971 E-mail: [email protected] ? HEALTHY JOURNEY When: Third Tuesday of Every Month at 7pm - 8:30 pm Location: Victory Christian Fellowship 100 Wilton Blvd., New Castle, DE 19720 Phone: 302.324.5400 ext. 1211 Contact: Jim Simmons Email: [email protected] ? CHANGING LIVES When: Third Thursday of Every Month at 6:30 pm Location: VA Hospital, Elsmere, Delaware Contact: Jane Walker Phone: 443.907.2574 E-mail: [email protected] ? NEW LIFE WLS When: Third Thursday of the month at 7 - 9 pm Location: Harrington Volunteer Fire Company 20 Clark Street Harrington, Delaware Contact: Joanne Hammond Phone: 302.947.0417 Email: [email protected] ? REHOBOTH WLS When: First Tuesday of the month at 7--9 pm Location: St Mark's United Methodist Church 18 Olive Avenue Rehoboth, Delaware Contact: Jennifer Burton Phone: 302.227.0579 Email: [email protected]