Post Ops - Further Out Feelings

Howdy all....I was at PA Hosp support meeting last night and it occurred to me that the support that I need now is not how to handle the surgery but how to handle life issues and food. Funny thing is that PA HOSP support group doesn't even touch on that because the majority of people are pre op and have to attend at least two group sessions. I started to realize how out of place I was....It was me giving the advice....The pre ops asked alot of questions but none on the psychological issues that come with this surgery. I found it odd no one asked about that...they were mainly concerned with skin and eating issues. Its funny how the physical part of this journey is what we are consumed with in the beginning....we don't recognize that the psychological is just as important. I wanted to know about all this stuff early on but didn't know how to understand it or to form a question about the pyschological aspects. I tried to express to them all are equally important. It was a good meeting last night...lots of positive feedback in the room for a change and the room wasn't packed....nice size vs the masses! Perhaps things are changing for the better and I can attend them more often. I usually just pop in there once or twice a quarter....So is your support group supporting you? I notice alot of people don't bother with groups any more....why have you stopped? Do you feel its better with out them? Can you not relate to the surgery anymore or the current support system? Just curious I guess. We all do things so differently and I guess that is a good thing but I think its just as important to know you don't have to go it alone and there is someone out there that is willing to help if you put your hand out. Debbie

Hi Deb What an awesome post! Even though I havent reached that stage yet I do want to be aware for what lies ahead. Right now I too am thinking of the loose skin and learning how to just eat again. Getting in my water and protein which, by the way I still have trouble doing. I average around 50-70 protein but the only way I can get it all in is if I drink shakes. The psychological part of this weight loss has been a real concern for me. I have heard with WLS alot of times, WLS patients have to use medication to deal with the psychological issues involved. Its not just about losing weight but learning psychologically and emotionally how to deal with losing the weight and accepting the new you. I would like to deal with the issues without meds but if need be I am not against using meds to get through the hard times. I think going to the support groups and talking with those who are going through this stage which ,hopefully is not permanent, is so important. You can offer help and give support, advice, encouragement to those of us who may go through the same issues and have a tough time emotionally dealing with the weight loss and WLS. I think thats a good topic for the next support meeting that I finally met you at. Take Care... Hope the job is still going well....Its getting sooo late. Hope my post makes sense... Sharon

Sharon, I believe that the psychological aspects of this journey is with us at the very beginning of our journey we just don't recognize it because we are too busy trying to juggle the food and skin stuff. When we get those under our control that is when we find the psychological stuff....I believe we should be dealing with all aspects at the same time to be a well oiled human machine. The great multitasking machine....Look closer at your journey and I bet you can find one or two instances that are psych related......I think when it comes to dealing with pysch issues we all put them aside for last. The job update.....I love my new boss. He hasn't been there much perhaps that is why I love him! LOL. Very wise and professional man. His steerage is good and I hope I do as well as he keeps telling me I am going to do. We did a Personal Development Plan yesterday and I got more insight about him...he has done a lot in his career path and I do admire that. I hope to one day grow up and be like him. I have to get my butt back to school and get that stupid degree. The time is now and the Company pays for it so I should take advantage of it. I hope to see you soon. Gosh you have to look so different now. Take care. Debbie

Deb...My biggest concern is that I can eat more than I could before and I am beating myself up because I feel like I am doing something bad!! I am having a hard time with liquids and protein at the moment and I feel like I might be failing at something that I worked so hard to accomplish. I am looking forward to the classes "partners in change" with Dr. Keenen (sp). They start on Oct. 10th. I hope you signed up for them. I always get so much out of your thoughts and ideas. I am glad you are happier at work. We are almost back to fleece blankets!!! ((hugs)) Ellen

I've been going to the Barix groups in Aston and Chadds ford. I'm almost the senior member there at 9 months. Yes it gets different since I can eat a full diet (and do!) and even with a protein drink daily I get in 80-100 gms protein and about 1200 calories a day. Weight loss has slowed/stopped and I'm very happy about where I've "landed" although hoping for more, however slowly that may take place now. I'm 59 yo so I know to be grateful for everything. It helps to talk to those further out and I'm visiting the "grads" board here for more peer support. Yes, this is a change for life! Remember, we had the digestive system changed, but our brains are the same, and we continue the same thinking as before. Food is our best friend, even if we had to cool off the relationship, so when things are tough, where do we look for comfort? Always working on it, always trying to enjoy the journey, Carol

Hi! Debbie , Long time no see . I have not been at victory support group in a while keep forgeting the day.Maybe I will make it this month. Somebody remind this space cadet before the day PLEASE! Well I must say in September I made my first ever Barix Clinic in Langhorn Pa. Post op meeting they have another meeting for Pre-op but all are welcome to both.It was very good and was more in tune to the challenges we face the futher out we get,such as being able to eat more, weight regain,some of us can eat sugar with no dumping. As we know this is a double edge sword.Relationships with people in our lives some are better some are not and how to cope without turning to food to self medicate oneself. Or celebrate with food that may not be the best choice for us. And remember, If your lucky your higher power gives you another chance to do better the next day! Yes, as many say we were given a tool. I remind myself I was given a tool I must use it for it to be useful! No hammer ever hammerd a nail without a person behind it " IT WAS NOT!!!!! a magic wand" Roomies, Well it's 3:05 am good night-good morning Till we chat again you all stay safe and well and know I CARE Debbie Ross aka SLOWTYPER in Main chat , doing well((((((((((((GROUP HUG))))))))))))

Debbie, As you know I have talked about this alot lately. I am 17 months out and agree not much is said about long term sucess. Everyone is happy with their weight loss the first year or so. Everything goes well for the most part and we are consintrating on eating, protein, water and exercise. Once we master this the real struggle begins.Our stomachs are fixed with the tool. Now do we use it???? It is so easy to forget and go back to bad habits. I can only talk from my own experience. Going back to old habits is no fun but so easy to do and this is when we really need to reach out and support each other. The help and support is here but it is so hard when reality hides us and we start to gain a few pounds. I don't know about everyone else but my Dr told me from the start you would gain back a few pounds. This is still hard for us to accept. Once we see a few pounds on we get the feeling we have failed once again in our lives and it is so hard to reach out when it seems everyone else is doing so great. I feel this is a big reason why people stop going to support groups when just the oppisite should be happening. This is the time to reach out to each other. We have not failed and this is a life long journey. We were never promised a rose garden and there is many thorns along the way. This was no easy way out and most of us will struggle but we can win this war on obesity. Never be ashamed to admit when you gain or eat something of the wrong choice. We are all human and all here to support each other thru good times and bad so to anyone reading this remember you are never alone . No matter what it is there is someone else who has been there before so please continue to go to support groups. They are not just to celebrate but for support and education. See all lighter. Joanne