Update and WOW moment

I am so sorry to hear about your husband....Stress is in your corner too! I understand about eating wrong things to get them to eat. I have been doing that too! Its driving me insane because I know better. Its so hard to be perfect with eating right now. I hope the treatments will help your husband. I am glad you shared! I thought some of the things I was doing was just me. Take care. Debbie

Debbie, I feel sometimes people don't share because we are ashamed and feel guilty. This has been drummed in our heads because of our past. I really feel safe sharing anything here for I know there is always someone going thru the same thing. No one is perfect. I can honestly say I learned this from Kenny ( The nurse at my Surgeons). You know how I feel about protein in our diets. This is totally against what my Dr. beleives. Kenny told me once how inportant I was to their support group with my knowledge and I told him I didn't beleive everything the Dr. says. He asked the group how many followed the Dr's order to a T. No one raised their hand and he said now do you know how inportant your knowledge is? Don't get me wrong, I think we should do what our Drs tell us but we still need to be advocates for our care. I feel more people should post their problems and in doing so you touch someone else who is going thru the same. Never be afraid to say I am having a bad day or I haven't been perfect. If we were all honest I think we all have had a bad day or two. This is when we need each others support the most. I am glad I shared with you !!! I fealt by your post you needed to know you were not alone. We all know the feeling of times thinking we are alone. Beleive me anything you do, someone else has done it too but may be afraid or ashamed to talk about it. Keep your head up and be proud. I know times are tough right now so lets not be hard on ourselves. We have beat ourselves up enough in our lives.You take care and KNow you will be in the prayers of many !!!! See you lighter. Joanne

Joanne So sorry about this. Suggestion -- (you probably already know this) get him to take the protein shakes, use real milk and ice cream in his, though along with the protein powder. Hoping you can remain strong through this trying time, Joanne. Dianne

Dianne, Thanks for your support. They have already given him ensore but he refuses to drink it. He goes Wednesday to surgery to get the port and feeding tube put in. I am going to email our minister to talk to him. I feel he needs to fight more. My hardest part is he keeps telling me " If you had let me die years ago I would not be going thru this" . He is trying to put guilt on me. I know when you are sick and scared you hurt the people you love the most. I know he is so scared and I have to be real careful what I say to him for sometimes I want to say hateful things to him like " I didn't smoke the cigarettes that gave you cancer and continue to smoke" I never smoked so maybe I don't understand the addicition. One thing I do know is I am at no fault here and refuse to take ownership. He doesn't realize the Hell this is putting me thru. It is real hard to see someone you love suffer and there is nothing you can do to take the pain and hurt away. I can't fix this like I am use to doing all my life and that is the hardest part. I will remain strong. Thanks!!! See you lighter. Joanne

Joanne, I could not get Gram to drink ensure either. The taste bothered her as well as something else in it...she had the runs from it each time and well when you can get up for the potty much that is something you try to avoid. You can't take ownership of the sickness. And perhaps if he didn't smoke he make still have gotten it. That what if stuff always plays with our heads. Being there for him is good. Letting go is hard but sometimes we have to learn that skill as well. Its funny Gram was talking to the nurse about dying. She isn't afraid at all. Me I would be scared to death....no pun here! I hope your journey with him gets better and you find a way of dealing with it all. Its a good thing your daughter is down close to you so you have some support there. I will be thinking and praying for you both. Its a part of life's journey that is truly hard to deal with but we can do it! Debbie

Wow. You are so right. Stay strong. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dianne, Thanks again. For an update my husband is in intensive care. He had surgery yesterday to get a port and feeding tube put in. This morning he couldn't breath and was taken by ambulance to the E.R. They did emergency surgery . His intestine was niked and was leaking air into his body. The Dr. says he has alot working against him but I am praying for the best. She said his low weight really works against him along with the cancer and other health problems. Please keep him in your prayers. I will see all lighter. Joanne

Absolutely. You and he are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted. Let us know what we can do for you. Even if it is just venting. I have big, strong shoulders. Take care, Dianne

Debbie Sorry Gram is on the decline. I can only hope and pray that God is merciful. I'm sure this is most difficult to watch. I know that you are there for her and will make things easier for her. I'm sure she appreciates having you there. Stay strong, Debbie. Dianne

Thank you for being there Dianne! Debbie