Tough Day

I know when I went through the life skills classes they said some of our friends would not be able to handle the change. I know, I just need to just walk away. But I work with this person and we use to work really well together. Now she barely acknowlages my preseance. Today is tough because we had to work together and it is very visiable to the rest of the department that things have changed between us. All I do is ignore the attitude and focus on the tasks we need to complete. I keep hoping that she will get over it. But 5 months out of surgery and I do not think it is going to change. She keeps lying to me that her behavior is because she is fried. But she is fried only with me. I guess she now she me as a threat to her success. I can not understand how weight change could make me a larger threat to her. I thought the fact I am very good at my job would be the most important factor. So I guess I will keep my PMI (Positive Mental Attitude) and one day I will not have to deal with this situation any more. Sorry to just unleash on you guys but i needed to get it off my chest.

I can relate in other ways...I think I miss food for the coping of these types of problems. Its very hard to deal with these days! Debbie

Debbie you are right I want to eat lots of food. I have been going for strolls when it get to much, and taling to my girl friend from class. I feel better when I can celibrate other accomplishements. My kids help keep things in perspective. My daughter (just 6)told me she was prooud that I was loosing my fat bellie. I just need to remember the most important poeple in my life love me the most accept me thin or fat.

Carolyn I'm not sure what the actual problem is, but there are a few common situations that we run into. If the other person is overweight, they may be envious because you persued wls and are changing your life. Reassure them that you are still the same person. If the other person is "normal" weight, they may not like the fact that you are about to even the playing field. Hopefully they can just deal with the situation and move forward. Whatever the reason is, you should alert them that you are bothered by their comments. We (the obese) tend to have allowed others to treat us badly for a long, long time, because we have always wanted to be accepted or liked by others. The people *****ally love you, share the attitude of your child who is proud of you. You do not desserve to be treated badly. Good luck. Dianne

Dianne, Thanks for the support. After I posted the message. I had decided that I needed to have a conservation with my boss. I did not give names but I discussed with her some of the challenges I am experieance with my co-workers. We are going to have diveristy training. Reminding people that we need to accept people and not make them feel uncomfortable, at least at work. I do not expect this to solve all my problems but at least everyone is getting a reminder that we are different. The person that I am having trouble with use to be heavy and now is not. And yes she did not agree with my decission to have the surgery. But told me she would support me in my decission. I just fell it is her problem. I have tried to talk to her several times. I am normaly shout down shortly after I start the conservation. And she has the stare that she is not really paying attention. This person is not my chid even though she is acting like one. She also knows better, she is over 50. And you are right I do not deserve this treatment. Sometime it help just helps to get it off my chest so I can move forward. Carolyyn

Honey I feel Your pain I have had the same thing happen. My best friend did not see me before wls and stopped talking to me after. A week after wls we had to be at a bunco game and she never even spoke to me. I've called wrote a letter stopped by her house. her daughter said Mom Mrs. Ross is here "She said Tell her I'm in the bathroom ,then I have to get a shower and go to bank.Well that said it all to me .She was always into her looks and about size 8-10 . 10 months out I'm a size 6-8. I think she could not handel me being able to weigh around her. Well I have lost 105lbs in 10 months and now weigh 130lbs down from 235lbs. I'm feeling very good .I see this is HER problem and I tried all I knew how.So I must move on.I'm not comfortable in her company we meet 1 time a month but she has not shown up in the last 4 months. The skuttle butt is she will be quiting. I think she knows how bad she has treated me and can't face it. So Honey as another OH member said to me "Her loss is our gain" It made me feel good. So I will say it to you "Her loss is our gain" Take care this hurts but will lighten with time. Your friend, Debbie Ross Delaware aka SLOWTYPER in main chat.((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

Debbie, All I can say it the support shown by th OH member is soul warmiing. I am keeping the faith. I have come to the realization that I have lost 80lbs since the surgery, and I look good. NO ONE is going to stop my progression to better health, and a longer life with my family. Thanks for the support and hugs Carolyn