Its Time....

I start hospice duty for my Grandmother today. She is coming home to my house to die. She has colon cancer which they took out a few months back to only find out last week it masticed to the liver. She is weak, not eating, but still very with it. I am very happy about that so I hope the time is not too quick there is so much we have to chat about and she has always been a very private proud person. Very independent too! I guess I know who I take after in some respects! LOL. I may not be here much but I think of you guys always and hope you will bounce a message from time to time as I go through this process. I am very afraid I will screw things up....That perfectionist in me rearing its ugly head again. Hospice thought the room was nice and above average from what he has seen in the area for people. He thought I would do just fine. Tim is going to change hours at work...I am looking to do the same until the end. I need to keep money coming in to pay the bills so I can't just quit! I will talk to them today so we can hammer out a deal for me to help her plus keep the job. I don't know how I will fair....I am upset now and not eating right...Yesterday I was a mess. Didn't eat for about 6 hours....Talk about a real mess! I know I have to change that with her coming out now...She can't see me like that. Tim got on me when he realized it had been so long without a meal. I am just glad he did most of the driving not me....Take care everyone. Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

Debbie, good luck with everything. I will keep you and your grandmother in my prayers. I got to help take care of my grandmother the last month of her life and they are some of the best memories I could ever have asked for. Enjoy this time with her. Deanna

Debbie, I knew you needed to be the STAR for another month. Keep it close and know that all of us are praying for you. On a personal note: One of the most beautiful things we can experience is being given the pleasure of being present as someone prepares to go "home" to be with the Lord. I hope that you look at it as that. Not everyone gets time to prepare or spend time with their family to know how much they are loved and cared for and told how their life has impacted those who are close to them. Use it to bring yourself closer to the Lord and to your grammy. Spend time with her (although I know there will be alot of unpleasant times and difficult situations). But honestly, Miss Perfectionist, you can't do it wrong!! Just being there and loving her and supporting her is all she needs from you. And it is obvious how much you do love her. You have a great husband and he is always a support to you, even in this. So know that together you will give your grammy the honor and dignity and privacy that she so deserves and when her time comes she will know that she is surrounded by those who love her. I have a great friend who works for Hospice in Phil, but lives in DE who would be glad to spend some time with you one on one during one of your lunch breaks. She lives close to the church. Just let me know and I'll connect you with her. You and Tim are going to do just fine, because you CARE. God bless, Faye

Thank you for your support and I would like to meet with your friend....It would be a good thing. I really don't understand the process and someone that knows it would be a great help. Grammy is settling in and today actually looked good. I am so happy to have these good days! Everyone here has been great....Well can't stay long I am on duty! Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

Debbie, You are the best. Your grandmother is so very lucky to have you. You will always know that her last weeks were special because of you and Tim. You need to remember about yourself during this time. You are so important. We Love You. Ellen

Debbie Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Cherish this time you have with your grandmother. Your strength will see you through this. Please remember to take care of yourself too. Dianne

How lucky you are to be able to spend this time with your grandmother. You might want to record some of the conversations you have with her, especially the ones that involve your family history. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my grandmother in some way, especially when I think what a kick she would've gotten out of my daughter Chelsea. I got to see my granny in the hspital once before she died but by the time I got there (I was living in PA at the time) she was already talking to the ones who went before her. But it was nice knowing that they'd all come to get her when it was her time. I know she'll be there to get me someday when it's my time.

Hi Deb, You are the Woman. Tim is the Man. May God bless you both. If grammy needs a hair-do, let me know. It'll perk up her day. I'll be glad to come over. ((HUGS)) Elissa

Hi Debbie - you will need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your Grandmother. Remember, on an airplane how they say put the oxygen mask over your own mouth and nose first and then help your child/spouse, etc. If you try to help your child first without first getting the oxygen mask on, you may pass out and both of you will not do well. You can't take care of her if you don't meet your needs as well. What a wonderful thing you are doing. Your Grandmother is blessed. Nancy G.

Hello debbie sweetie,May god fill you with love and strength and peace and my God comfort you and your love ones.If you need anything please please let me know I am there for you sweetie.You remember to take care of yourself too your important to us all.We love ya sweetie.Take care love bonnie