I HAVE SLEEP APNEA!!!! HOLY COW!!!!

Hi everyone: I haven't posted in a while and today has been a real doozey so I thought I would come on and share what's going on. I'm still on my road to surgery and things have been going very well. Well, things WERE going well until I went to my pulmonologist. I am seeing Dr. Preskenis at St. Francis. All my tests went very well, however, he sent me for a sleep study and today I was given the news that I have moderately severe sleep apnea. I'm really thrown by this. There was nothing that prepared me for this. I guess deep down all I keep thinking is that I've done such damage to my body and this weight, if allowed to rise, will kill me. I feel so guilty and so much self loathing right now. I know it will pass and I know that all this "stuff" in my head is just magnified by the news and such....but, it still sucks to feel this way. They fit me with a CPAP machine and I need to use it for a month and then go back so that I can let them know how I'm doing. If all is well, Dr will clear me for surgery. This just seems so never ending. I guess I thought that I was fairly healthy for an overweight person. I don't have high blood pressure, diabetes or a lot of other co-morbidities. I guess I was completely deluding myself that this weight was just that.....weight. It's so much more. It's taken a toll on my body and it's getting worse as I get older. I'm a 40 year old that feels 80. I WANT MY LIFE TO BE LIVED TO THE FULLEST. I'm so committed to this process. Actually, it if wasn't for this process I would've never known about the sleep apnea. Who knows, I could've had a stroke somewhere down the road or something. I think part of my problem is that I also need to take better care of my appearance. I need to buy a few new things and do my make-up on a daily basis and do my hair. I need to start feeling better about who I am and recognize that I'm not a failure and that I am doing something about my problems so that doesn't make me some big fat loser...although that's what I feel like at the moment. Well, I'm at work and I really need to get back to it. Thanks so much to all of you for reading this and listening to me babble and whine. It's really wonderful to know that there are people out there who know how I feel and can offer support. Hugs to all... Gina

Hey Gina, You know, it's funny, because you will read on the boards here about some people *****JOICE that they have sleep apnea. No kidding. They find that they have a comorbidity that enables them to have more of a reason for them to have surgery (and have their insurance company clear them for surgery), and they are ecstatic. Not that either perspective is bad, because I can see both sides to the story. But, you basically just have to roll with the punches I have learned. The CPAP I have not had to wear, but eventually you will sleep better once you find a machine that is comfy to sleep with and you will have some more energy. Don't be depressed, we all have something. My work changed insurance companies 2 weeks before surgery to an insurance company that has a written exclusion on WLS - and I ended up having to pay out of pocket after all the work I had done with my previous insurance company (over 1 year of appointments). So, things turn around and bite you in the rear end, but you roll with it. In the end, you are going to have surgery, you are going to lose weight, you won't need the CPAP and you'll look 25. Keep your head up. Jen

hi gina, well,i too have sleep apnea,and use a c-pap with humidifier at night,it was very uncomfortable at night but did help me,now its been almost 2 years and i am totally used to it,i dont like it though,i feel the exact same way you do.i have a real need to get healthy and return to work,i get very depressed not being able to work,i hate being home out of work,i hate being heavy and unhealthy and need to get the tool to sucess.i have tried all kinds of medical diets,weight loss programs,etc..nothing works because i dont feel full.i wish you so much luck on your journey,please feel free to e-mail me privately or on board ,i welcome new friends always..keep in touch and best of luck to you,any questions about c-pap,,feel free to ask..blessings..cyndee

Gina - Thank goodness you found out now. I had undiagnosed sleep apnea for probably 10 years - my sleep study showed that I woke up an average of 47 times per HOUR! Sleep deprivation contributes to weight gain; when you're really tired and can't sleep, eating is the only thing that makes you feel better. It takes awhile to get used to the CPAP, but don't give up, it's definitely worth the trouble. Arline