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I'm 2 days pre-op, I've been going through this entire process for 11 months. I've invited my husband to the doctors on many occasions and he has never come. NOW he decides to look up the surgery online and is totally against it. I had no doubt in my mind that this is what I wanted. But being 2 days before the big day I'm naturally a little nervous. This is not what I needed! I am so stressed right now!

Sorry to hear that you are going through so much stress so close to the surgery. Where did your husband look that has him so upset? I can imagine the stress, maybe you can sit with your husband and show him success story after success story on this site from real people around the world - maybe this would help him be more accepting? I don't know your relationship with your husband so it's hard to give advice to you - I do however wish you the best on your surgery! Best Regards, Tammy Count down: 3 days!

I am so sorry that you are having these problems with your husband so close to your BIG day... He should have gone to support groups with you and he would have know it was the best thing to do.. Where are you having your surgery if you don't mind me asking?? If you want you can have him e-mail me. I am 5 months post op and am down 82 lbs it is the best thing that I ever did for myself.. You will NOT regret it. Lisa

Hey there... Husbands are very strange with this. Either they're 110% supportive, or not at all. There's not really a happy medium, unfortunately. How strong is your relationship? Either way... what you've got to remember is that you're doing this for YOU. You're not doing it to please him, or anyone else for that matter. You are doing this to be a happier and healthier person. If he can't see that... well, then it's his own fault... The decision you've made is for YOURSELF. And nobody should bring you down. YOU want this... and YOU are going to acheive it. And the only thing you can ask of others is to be happy for YOU that you're making a decision to better your life. It WILL be worth it for you... sometimes you have to prove it though, to other people. Sometimes you just have to forget about everyone who doesn't support you, and move on and do it all yourself. This is your life... don't let anyone stand in your way of making it better for youself. Keep me posted, I'd love to talk with you more about these things. -CJ 250/169/140 non-op

If he is against it because of concern about the complications, then you can work on educating him. If he is against it because he is concerned that the surgery will somehow change you, let him know why you have decided to permanently alter your anatomy-- remind him that, although he has loved you through your struggles with obesity, you might not have been so crazy with what your obesity represented to you. I've found that many spouses (and this goes for wives too) tend to love us, and love the relationship we can give them, regardless of our size-- therefore, for many spouses, they can't seem to appreciate that we might not have liked ourselves at the weights we were and living with the hold that food had on us. If you've decided upon the surgery, you do need to explain to him that your mind is made up. Of course, offer to include him in the on-going support that long-term success requires. This might alleviate some of his concerns. Good luck.