My Partner is worried...

My partner/wife/most amazing woman I know, Kathy ::soft smile:: ... is worried about the surgery, the after effects, etc etc etc... are there any partner, spouse resources you can direct us to? Thanks a bunch!!! ~Ericka

Hi Ericka... Drastic weight loss (whether by WLS, or by other means) carries an increadible amount of issues along with it -- social, psychological, and physical. Relationships (both intimate as well as platonic) are often hit the hardest by such issues. You go under such dramatic changes in such a short period of time -- your self image changes, your personality changes, your whole life changes... and for the better!!!! With that said... if you are in a strong relationship with your S.O., and the two of you function well together AS A TEAM and support and assist in each others growth PRIOR to WLS, then it will most likely make your relationship even stronger afterwards. Just like Newton's Law... for every action, there is both a positive and negative REaction. Soooo on the flip side, if there is something lacking in your relationship prior to WLS, if your relationship is on the rocks, or the S.O. isn't supportive of the decision, then there will most likely be problems afterwards. Doctors will tell you the same thing. There are many, many reasons and factors involved... but the results are usually pretty consistant in the long run. I'd love to discuss it more in detail with you, if you'd like!! Feel free to e-mail me!!!! --CJ

Bring her to go support group at Middlesex hospital on Mondays ... REad what Debby M. 's post I pasted over but I am sure there is support group from your doctor in his area. Also Bring her to join with you at Spring Gala Dance on March 4th and meet the rest of us. She can ask all of us any questions then we will be happy tp answer her questions and it will make her feel better after she got all answers from all of us SMILE! hope to meet you and your partner there on March 4th Kathy K Here is Debby M. 's post: This coming Mon., 2/20, is the 3rd Mon. of the month, so the support group meeting at Middlesex Hospital in Middletown (6:30 - 7:30 p.m.) is for both pre- and post-ops. It will consist of general discussion, questions and answers. Although most attendees are patients of Dr. Aranow, anyone is welcome. Usually the Hamden support group also meets on the 3rd Mon. of the month, but because it's Presidents' Day, the meeting has been postponed to Tues., 2/21, 6:30 - 8 p.m., at the Senior Center (behind the Miller Library on Dixwell Ave.) So I don't have to choose between the meetings...I can attend both next week. The Hamden group isn't affiliated with any doctor or hospital and is for both pre- and post-ops. It's run by a couple of post-ops. Usually a group of us go to dinner after the Middlesex meeting and once in a while after the Hamden meeting. Dinner isn't just for post-ops; pre-ops are welcome, too. In fact, as a pre-op, I found it helpful to see how post-ops at different lengths of time out from surgery handled eating in a restaurant. And if you'd rather eat before the meeting, you're still welcome to join us and just have something to drink. The restaurants we go to don't mind if you even just have water. Going out isn't about the food, it's about additional support and time to get to know each other better. And the support isn't just related to WLS. There are times when we need support in other areas of our lives. And I've learned to ask for that support when I need it, knowing that my OH friends will come through for me. Like next week...I go to court for my divorce on Tues., so I need to be with friends the nights before and after. If you need directions to either meeting, pls. e-mail me. Have a nice weekend, Debby

Hi Ericka, my husband and the rest of my family were very against wls and until they saw that I was NOT changing they started doing their own research about it and came around, sort of..............now they see how happy I am, and how good I look!!!! Bring her to support meetings, direct her to the forum here for familes and bring her to the dance on March 4!!!! Bethany

Definitely have her come to the support group at Middlesex Hospital- there are pre and post ops there and can answer many questions she or you might have. If she wasn't worried about you - you would have to be worried about your relationship- obviously she loves you and cares enough to be concerned- this is major surgery - no doubt about it- but by learning everything she can as you have and will- she'll be less worried hopefully.