Don't follow in mommy's footsteps....

Okay, so Ihave four beautiful wonderful children, whom I love as much as any mother has ever loved her children. My eldest daughter is causing me concern and worry lately. She'll be nine soon, and I think she has inherited my genes, my metabolism, cravings and tastes. The other three (God Bless them but if I hadn't been there when they came out of me I'd swear they weren't mine) are all skinny (to underweight ) and eat nothing. Mary- the nearly nine year old is a carbo-holic as was/am I. She's a fan of sweets, breads, cookies, desserts, you get the idea. I have managed to control the intake to a certain degree- cutting back on carbs at meals- limiting sugary snacks in the house, encouraging her to make smarter choices at school, that sort of thing. My fear is in pushing her too hard- in making the weight an issue now and risk it blowing into a major issue as she grows, either in an eating disorder or her gaining significant weight. We were doing swimming but becasue of my upcoming surgery and also her and her sister getting ear infections, I put it on hold for the winter, its hard for me to do much with them because we have her, her almost 8 year old sister, my son who is 5, and the baby is 3- I work weekends, and my husband already has a busy schedule with them on Saturdays with 4H and running around doing farm chores. I guess I want to know from other parents- do you have kids with weight issues, or potential weight issues- and how do you handle it? I tell her- I don't want her to be like me- I dont want her to have the problems I had growing up. She's so pretty and smart and funny and sweet- I would hate to see her suffer like I have.

Well, I have a 10 year old who could eat me out of house and home if I let her...In order to help her control her weight and her eating, we have done a number of things. First, I make healthy snacks available for her...snacks that she likes, but that are good for her.. so, at our house, there is ALWAYS a bag of baby carrots, Lowfat crackers, Low-fat or fat-free yogurts....Instead of focusing on her weight or weight loss, I try to focus on her eating healthy foods..I taught her to read the nutrition facts and stress to her the importance of getting enough protein....She also gets a little loopy if she has too much sugar, so I also ask her to look out for too much sugar when she reads the nutrition facts...she does pretty well... I also encourage her to be active....She plays travel basketball this year, and when it was warmer I took her bike-riding.... These are jusdt some suggestions.... Good luck, and good job.... Love, Dorota

My nutritionist counsels children who are at risk for or already have issues with food and weight. She is in Fairfield, which I suspect is too far for you to travel. But I can ask her for some general guidelines if you like. Your concerns are right now and valid. That happy balance is hard to figure out. Let me know if you would like any info. Towanda

My son, Ray, who just turned 15 yesterday has weight issues and have had him help me get through my journey to learn all about proper eating and excesize. He no longer drinks soda, water has become the drink of choice as well as whole grain breads and lean meats, chicken, and seafood. . He has done remarkably well and his self esteem has grown along with it. Could still lose a few pounds, "just like his dad", but he has the foundations to go on leading a healthy life. Don't be afraid to discuss the feelings you felt growing up overweight. Your child will listen. Good Luck! Julio

I do have an overweight daughter. She takes right after me. She is 16 and now weighs more than I do. She loves junk food, carbs and does not exercise. I try to provide healthy alternatives for her, and we do not buy soda anymore, and I encourage her to walk with me when I go walking. If I get on her about it, it will not help. I remember my own mother telling me that I had to lose weight, that I would never get a boyfriend at my weight. She was always on a diet and always was trying to get me to lose. Of course it did not help, just made things worse. So I eventually ballooned up to 350 pounds. My advice is to not dwell on the weight, but healthy habits. Teach them to eat healthier by example, do fun activities together. By focusing on the weight issues, they could just wind up with food issues, either by eating too much or not enough. I was a closet eater because of being watched all the time. Good luck, Pam