Eating my way through the holidays

Ok, sorry to everyone who haven't touched a sweet since surgery and will think that this is just the craziest thing that you have ever heard. But I have had this amazing desire to eat for the past few days. Its not hunger, its "I'm stressed about the holidays so I am taking advantage of all this free food that is everywhere." The holidays were never stressful before but I realize that this may have been because I could run to food so I had a crutch. No crutch this year and this is quite annoying for me. So I had been doing well up until Sunday. I was trying to be Martha Stewart and bake brownies for the kids at the school where I work. They came out a horrible brown glop, burnt on the outside and just barely done on the inside. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I am overwhelmed financially, frankly a little lonely (despite seeing two guys, how is that possible?) and now I can't even be the domestic goddess that I want to be. So I ate like 6 of them and it has been a slippery slope ever since. Last night I was reduced to eating Gianderia (sp), this pickled Italian vegetable thing, because A. it has no carbs and B. since I never keep food in the house it was the only thing except frozen waffles that I hadn't already eaten. I should say, I am basically venting. I know all about how the surgery is a tool and I am not using it, yadda, yadda and I completely agree. I am just hoping that this is the "situational depression" that they told me about before surgery and it will go away somewhere between here and Valentine's Day (another stress point). I should also confess that I am eating chocolate cheesecake as I write this.

PUT THE FORK DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!! I hear ya sweetie- I hear ya. I applaud your honesty and your forthrightness (is that a word) in posting this!!! I had a small run in with gingerbread men last evening myself. It wasn't pretty - but at least I chose the unfrosted ones.....and I didn't inflict any scale detectable harm it seems.....but I hear ya!!! And today I have sent them to their new owners as intended, leaving only a few here for the kids in a place I can't see them. Get some Marathon Low Carb Snickers Protein bars- they really taste great- get some soy chips- I got some at BJ's in yummy sweet flavors. Have some tasty sweet crunchy things like that- that are sensible but not sabatoging to your progress. I also found Heavenly Delights ( Ithink thats the name) meringue cookies made with Splenda - virtually free of carbs and yet sweet and cookie like, they were at Stop and Shop. Is there anyone out there that doesn't have this kind of slip off the ol' wagon? If they say no I think they are either LYING or the surgeon performed a lobotomy along with the gastric bypass....Big hug girlfirend- remember chocolate is not your best friend - you are your best friend~~~

Hey Christine, It's the time of year for triggers of old habits and memories that make us reach for the "old things" that we used to do. For some gosh darn reason, the holidays churn up so many emotions in us (I guess we're all expected to have these perfect Stepford Wife smiles and attitudes on us) and for some of us, that's reaching for the first thing that we can shove in our gullets and soothe ourselves. We have to learn a lesson from what we're doing wrong and change the habit... I went to a holiday party last Sat and nibbled on a little bit of everthing there, including some sweets. During my hour long drive home, my intestines were churning and hurt. I felt awful and knew that I was NOT going to do it again this week on Christmas. I had had enough of sabotaging myself with food (it really didn't even taste that good) and was only going to "try" to stick to good food choices on Christmas... That's the only thing we can do for ourselves. Tell ourselves that we're going to "try" to do better and do so. Throw the crap food out and when you do, cover it all over with dish soap in the trash bag and bring it outside so it can freeze up and you won't be tempted to go and fetch it out! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS...you have the POWER to stop this behavior and you CAN DO IT! You've done SO WELL thus far..don't let a few damm stinkin' emotions slide you backwards...dance for joy over the newer better YOU and rejoice, because you deserve it and are BEAUTIFUL! Paula

Hey girl, Try loading up on water, or crystal light when you get a craving. I gota tell ya, frozen ice pops havekept me honest on many occassions. Know you can do it Girl! The holidays make everyone crazy and thats when we have to hang together tight! So,Do your best and know we are all part of the same team! Take care, Julio

Christine, I am sorry about the gloppy brownies. You are right. With all that free food around, it is like walking through a mine field; you are bound to step on one if tempted enough times. The bad thing is, once you start it is so hard to stop. I am guilty of this too. Baking cookies and having sweets around at work have worn me down also. (not to mention the stress) I am not going overboard, but not happy about eating things I shouldn't be without planning allowances for it. That is the scariest part for me, that compulsive feeling that I just HAVE to have it and I am fighting that constantly. 1 more week and it will be over. Do the best you can, keep avoiding the mines and when you do give in, promise yourself to do something good, like drinking an extra glass of water or do 10mins more exercise that day. hang in there, terri

OT, but saw you at the meeting monday. You are doing GREAT! Peter

Hey, thanks Peter!!! I wanted to stick around to say hello after the meeting, but I had a friend upstairs that I needed to go and visit before hours were over. It was good to see you there. Missed Santa this year --- we moved away and haven't been back to E.Haddam for a while. See ya next time! t

Thanks for all your kind words everyone! I really needed some support yesterday. I feel much better today. After my day of gluttony, I actually went to the gym for the first time in forever (I've been doing pilates at home due to the cold weather) and I felt really good about myself afterward. So as a result, I ate less last night than I have the previuos nights. So thanks again. I know it is a journey and I am glad that I don't have to travel alone.

Hi Christine, (It's the other Debbi from Monday night support group.) I fell off the wagon SO badly recently that I'm still nursing the bruises. ha ha I was COMPLETELY out of control for almost 4 weeks. I just ate and ate, and all the wrong things. I was going to the gym and not even that worked. I was/am angry at myself, depressed, scared that I am again going to fail and gain all my weight back as well as pretty much angry at the world. Something clicked recently and I was able to grab on to the back of the wagon and am scraping my toes... I'm doing much better, but it was tough. I totally went through all you were going through. Although the M&M cookies and all the goodies out on display still get to me...I'm able to have a piece of whatever (and that's today, not necessarily tomorrow) and walk away. The temptations and "screw it" attitude that I get once I've blown it have been SO DIFFICULT! I'm struggling as well...and I'm here for ya. Glad to hear it sounds like you're on an upswing already! Debbi

Boy do I know what you mean. I am going for my upper GI test on Friday and will have my ultra sound and meet with the nutritionist on Tuesday. Filling out the nutritional journals has been awful for me at this time of year - this is so unfair. I need to loose 10 lbs before surgery and I WILL....but this is probably the last holiday I will be able to eat freely and maybe that's what is stressing me out to eat more that I should. I don't know what I should be putting in this journal - all the crap I consume because it's around every corner where I work...the parties I attend and the grazing I'm doing? I figured I'm just going to do my best with it. I will explain my weaknesses and my desires and request the help I need to succeed. I know I need to make major changes in my life - I'm thinking I should have started January 2nd cause I'm feeling like a failure these days.