Quick Question

Hi Everybody!! I was wondering... does anyone know of a message board on here regarding relationships/marriage and WLS?? How about any relationship support groups or anything like that in the state that I could pop into from time to time?? To make a long story short, I'm going back to college to become a licensed counseler -- marriage/relationships, I'd like to focus on the troubles in relationships regarding obesity/weight loss and WLS. I'd like to start checking out the different perspectives/concerns people have out there. I know that I was fortunate enough to have an awesome friend give me great strength to get through my situation... and I'd love to do the same for others too!! Soooo if anyone has any info or ideas, I'd love to hear them!!! Thanks!

I wrote a post regarding relationships, as I have been in the therapy/counseling field for over 30 years. It wasn't until this surgery, that I noticed that relationships either strengthen or fail. (my observation). You are doing a great thing, and in the future, there will need to be more regarding this. I got into a realationship after a year out and after 6 months, he is asking that I gain the weight back as he thought that I was "hotter" mind you , he never seen me in an 18w and I looked good then(smile). Now that I am a 10, and men are looking, he wants me to gain weight. It baffled me at first and then I told him that I was going for the skin surgery and I would be an 8 rather than a 10, and it has played an enormous trip on him. I have had friends, who was approved for surgery and their mates weren't and the relationship of many years disolved. There are many factors here and I wish you luck. keep me posted. BlkNectar BlkNectar

Thank you so much for replying, Jayne! I have definately seen the issues in relationships and obesity/weight loss. It's amazing the complexities involved... and I'm surprised there isn't a seperate phsycological/sociological field specifically devoted to these issues! (Well, not yet... I may just have to pioneer this one!) Anyways... I'm so happy that someone replied to me here. For a little bit I was starting to wonder/worry if I was the ONLY one *****cognized the issue. It's definately something that needs to be adressed... so more people who feel either ashamed/scared know that they're not alone!! It happens, and there is a way to make things better! And there's other people around who are going through the same issues. I understand the whole concept of why discussing relationship problems is a little taboo. The last thing I wanted to do (when I was still married) was admit to my friends/family that I wasn't happy. It was hard enough admitting to MYSELF that I was unhappy, nevermind to my loved ones. It's alot like making the weight loss decision, actually. The first step is admitting that it's time for a change. Then making the dreaded decision as to how... then doing it... blah blah blah, getting peer support... surviving, making it through then, finally, say good-bye to that excess weight!!