Disappointed and Confused

I wrote the below in my blog - any thoughts?
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So I went to Dr. Raftopolous back in February to see if he could help me get my band to work properly. It worked beautifully during pregnancy - I only gained 20 pounds - ate relatively small portions - never got anything stuck - never threw up - I had no fill but the band finally found a sweet spot to sit while I was pregnant. Dr. Raftopolous suggested that the band is not an effective tool and said he recommended that I get a revision to the bypass. I left his office very confused - but started to wrap my head around a revision - I went to all the tests he suggested - a new sleep study, a blood test with 12 vials of blood (I had to go twice because the first time my veins collapsed so they couldn't get any blood from me), I went for an upper GI and got another PFT - my sleep apnea is cured because I'm down 30 or so pounds from the last time I had a sleep study - but I have developed mild asthma - who knew! The only thing out of whack in all the tests is my leptin level is way out of range (38.3) - but other than that things look good. So I go to the doctor today fully expecting that he'd be submitting a request to the insurance for approval - that's not what happened. He asked me if I wanted to try to use the band again - WHAT?? He asked if I wanted to have a fill - I said no - he told me to think about it for next month - he said that we will go through the motions of getting a revision surgery so I'll have to do 6 months of doctor supervised diet visits - WHAT - Again? He told me to stop making excuses and start exercising and gave me a DIET to follow -

I felt like a COMPLETE LOSER - I left there and just cried and cried - I feel so bad - I just let him go on and on about eating bla, bla, bla - I could have said the exact things - I KNOW how to eat - I KNOW I need ot exercise - DUHHHH! I told him Dr. - I can lose weight - I've proven that my entire life - but look at me! He just didn't get it - I don't think anyone who isn't obese gets it. It took all of me not to completely start bawling in his office - I felt my eyes welling up with tears as he was telling me to join a gym and work out 3 to 5 times a week - uh - thanks.......I know there are plenty of people that are 100 pounds overweight that are capable of exercising - but how many of them actually DO IT? Isn't that why we want the f'in surgery to begin with - hello? I need help - if I could do it on my own - I would - I mean I've lost hundreds of pounds over and over and over again - I have this stupid tool in my body that he wants to "experiment" with to see if maybe something has changed and maybe this time it will work.

When he was asking me questions - I felt as if he was looking for an "uh-ha" it is your fault - like he asked what foods get stuck -I told him chicken and bread are some - he got fixated on telling me I should not be eating bread - um - I don't have any fill in and I can eat bread 10 days in a row and on the 11th day it gets stuck - maybe I am a big failure. He told me that I need to be positive - I was so positive when I walked in his office and left there in tears - I dunno - I'm just a little confused right now and extremely disappointed.

Tammy- I can't imagine- it must have felt like a left hook out of nowhere! 

The only ligical reason I can think of for the turn around on his part is if there was a test result that pushed him in that direction (but you think he would have mentioned that) or if he was trying to really test your resolve and determination to have a revision. 

I don't know exactly what to tell you, honestly.  I just hope that you make the decision for YOURSELF about what's best for you and then pursue it with all your heart.  Nobody but you knows what you've had to live with while the band wasnt(isnt) working. 

I really do wish you all the best.  Chin up, perhaps this is just a speed bunp.

Thank you Lisa - that is exactly what it felt like - a left hook out of nowhere!! HE is the one who planted the revision seed to begin with - I was not thinking of that at all - then I get my head wrapped around the idea - and BAM - he pulls back - it was truly confusing - I wish I had seen it coming - I did say something like "you told me you didn't like the band" and he said that perhaps the band can start working for me and we could "experiment" - Thanks - I always wanted to be a guinea pig...........

Anyway - thanks for your thoughts and encouragement....

 Tammy, I can only imagine how confused and disappointed you are after that office visit. But, didn't you say Dr. R had previously told you that he thought the band was not as effective of a tool And that you should have a revision to a bypass? If that is truly what you feel will help you, stick to your guns! Don't mess with the band again unless you really want to. You will have to do the six month doctor supervised diet, I think the insurance companys have gotten strickter about that kind of thing. Use the next six months to get yourself prepared for the change GBS will bring to your life.

Follow his diet the best you can and develop an exercise plan that you can live with. Show him that you are committed and are willing to do what you can to achieve success. The doctors and insurance companies want to see that we are ready and able to make some changes in order to succeed. Don't let this get you down, it is just a little set back for now.

Changing our eating habits is not something that is easily done. I am three years post RNY and am now able to eat most all foods without a problem and am having difficulties now keeping my eating in check and have gained  back about  10 pounds of the 120lbs I lost. Use this time to examine your eating habits and find ways to change any bad habits that you have.

We have to change the way we think and not call this a DIET it has to be a new way of eating and living. Gastric Bypass surgery is a great tool to help us be successful with weight loss where we were unable to succeed before and to be successful with that tool we need to follow the plan for life. Protien first...lots of calorie free non carbonated fluids and small amounts of complex carbohydrates , no sugar ect. ect. ect. Also exercise.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Sher

 

 

Thanks Sher - for always being a cheerleader! You are right - he did say the band is ineffective and he did tell me to have a bypass.... the change of recommendation completely caught me off guard - he actually said "maybe we can avoid surgery" - anwyay - you are right - I need to start making changes now - I know the surgery is on the body and not the head - and although I do not eat really junky - I could do better! Thanks!

Tammy, what a shock you must be feeling. But give yourself a day or two to absorb what all was said.... sometimes when I am very emotionally upset I have a hard time hearing what is being said...... I would consider a second opinion....... I also believe the insurance companies are getting tougher about that whole six month thing..... but don't focus on that yet.... Positive thoughts and hugs  are being sent.

Thank you Dan!

I am impressed for sure.  you have babies, went thru a pregancy and still found the time to do the pre-op work  that is an accomplishment for sure.

I would definetly get another opinion.  I would go back to where you had all the tests done and ask for copies and take them to another surgeon who would be able to (1) give you the same results and that alone would make you feel better  (2) give you a different opinion and which the ball is in your court and not left to the doctors' decision alone.

Good Luck

Thank you - I will see Dr. R in May and then decide if I need to get another opinion. He has such a good reputation that I don't want to make a quick decision - but the next time I see him I will definitely be better prepared emotionally!

 Tammy,

I am sorry that you are disappointed and confused.  Did he give you any reason as to why the shift in thought.  My impression was that he favored RNY versus lapband, but that was in my case. It is important that you are comfortable with your choice of surgeon and surgery.  I felt that these were the most important 1st steps for me. I would suggest talking to him again and if you still are uncomfortable that you should talk to others.

The insurance companies seem to to be getting more strict with there approval process and I think some from of pre-diet is always required.

If you do continue with Dr R he will continually be on you about your carb intake and your exercise. We discuss these 2 things at every appt. He is always pushing me to do more, which I have gradually done.

As far as exercise goes, when I first started out I could barely walk as I was having severe issues with my knees so I joined a gym with a pool. I started going to a water aerobics class and found that the water helped and made exercise less painful. Not sure if that would work for you, but it is a thought.

I wish you luck on your journey and if you need anything we are here for you.

Nancy