help i'm ready to give up

i'm ready to throw in the towel on this weight loss journey i can't seem to get back on track with my diet and exercise i always say that i'll go back to the gym this week or next week but i haven't budge yet i'm just frustrated at myself for getting this heavy in hte first place my body looks crazy my boyfriend says that i have bat wings because of the 80lbs i've lost so far i can't stand it i don't feellike i've accomplised anything. i like hiding myself from him i don't feel attractive. my boobs sag i can't have surgery on them until i finsh loosing the weight so that they can look norrmal i'm having pain in my legs again i don't know if its froom hte weight shifting downward or not i'm just fed up with it all i try to eat whats right but then i gets boring so i just eat and eat until i get sick sometimes. i'm lost just plain ole lost it looks like i'll never get to my weight goal by jan20th it will be a year then.has anyone been down this road before and if so can you lend a sis a hand on gettingon tract.

Hi, Have you read Carnie Wilson's books that she's written about her journey with weight loss surgery? Especially the second one, it deals with the emotional part of the entire WLS journey and you might find some solace in finding that she went through a LOT of emotional stuff and had a lot of therapy. Secondly, have you talked to your doctor about your depression and the shame your feeling over the loose skin, etc? Maybe you need to go on an antidepressant for a bit until you can get over this hurdle. Keep your chin up...you'll get through this. What is your fear? Are you afraid of getting to your goal and then not know what to do with yourself after it's all over? This is a toughie for many people that have never been able to attain their goal before. Try not to be so hard on yourself...you've lost 80 lbs!!! That's a huge accomplishent!!! You should be walking high with your chin in the air because of such great success... Get Carnie's books...the second one is called 'I'm Still Hungry'...I took it out of my library. Good luck, paula

Lydia You are not ready to give up or you would not have written this post. I will suggest a few things and I hope you take my advice. Its not about food OR exercise... 1. Get to a counselor--pronto! It sounds like you have lots of issues that need to be addressed. 2. Get to some support group meetings. It really helps to be around others. 3. 80 lbs is a fantastic start!!! Do not underestimate the success you have had. 4. Do not let anyone (aka-your boyfriend) sabotage you. He should not be telling you about "bat wings". He should love you-for wanting to be healthy. Let me ask you--don't you feel better--healthier now more than 80 lbs ago? I am sure walking up stairs is easier...getting out of the bathtub...clothes fitting better?? Look at the positives-instead of the negatives. I beg you-get yourself some help. You went through this life changing surgery--and its only been six months...you can get back on track. You still have to tool your doctor gave you... Good Luck to you..and I will keep you in my prayers. Please stay on these messages boards for the greatest support ever. Feel free to email me...if I haven't made you angry at me. I only mean to help... You can do this! Joanie

I am sorry that you feeling so frustrated right now, but it is such a good thing that you are reaching out instead of eating through your issues. I don't know know if your surgeon's practice offers a psychologist or anything but if not there are many support groups in the area. I am only 6 months out but I have found that just being around people who have been through some of the same issues is so comforting. Good luck!

Lydia- In your own home town, you have two support groups that might help you find some focus. At Norwalk Hospital on the second Monday of every month, we have a peer-to-peer post-operative support group where issues like the one you are writing about are discussed. Hearing how others are dealing with comparable issues might help you. This meeting starts at 6 p.m. and is in the Patio Room. Also, we have an early post-op support group meeting that deals with many of the emotional issues you've posted as well as with lots of the nuts and bolts issues (like food choices, protein intake et al.). These meetings start at 6 pm. in Perkis Auditorium on the third Wednesday of every month. These meetings are free and open to the public (whether or not you are a patient of a Norwalk Hospital surgeon). Don't lose hope-- you have plenty of peers nearby just waiting to help you.

I'd like to chime in a big DITTO to what everyone else has said! PLEASE PLEASE seek out some support from a counselor AND from group meetings. It will make all the difference in the world for you, I promise. hang in there and fight for what you want. You're doing great. 80 lbs is WONDERFUL weight loss. Best wishes, Lisa C

Lydia, You have gotten some great advice so far - I agree with Joanie, you aren't giving up if you are here asking for help. It is such a huge adjustment to lose all that weight -- physically & emotionally. I have heard many times at support group meetings --"I had surgery on my stomach, not my brain" That is so true. Hang in there Lydia and it is probably a good idea to take some of the advice you have already gotten about seeking help from your doctor and attending support groups,etc.. You have come a long way in less than a year -- it is a lot to take in. Keep coming back here when you need support. hugs, terri

if you'd like to know of any counselors/clinics in the area, please don't hesitate to say so. i live in FLA now, but i used to work in the mental health field, and know of a few really awesome counselors. i'd be happy to point you toward them. you're doing great, and things will get better - but certainly a friendly hand to hold over the rough patches would be good, and it couldn't hurt. best wishes.

First of all, your boyfriend does not appear that supportive "bat wings" . I have them also, not bad but they are unsightly and my boyfriend says, that "my wonderful body is under reconstruction", he is very supportive and that gives me the motivation. Self esteem is what gets us here in the first place and why we stay. Get to the support groups and if boyfriend can't say anything niceer, then you need to make a decision if the relationship is wiorth it. Let me say that I just got into a relationship , and it's great, and men are calling me off the hook. Yes I am getting the cosmetic end, but I feel it is more reconstructive than cosmetic as it has to do with self esteem. I have been an advocate that before folks have this surgery that they see pictures of sagging skin, if you do not have the funds for the reconstructive/cosmetic end, you need to make a decision if the surgery is for you in the first place. The bat wings are going to cost a few thousand and then your thighs, and depending on your age, your butt and neck. Quit being so hard on yourself, and since you took off the first weight, let the "dead weight" boyfriend go if he is referng to your skin as "at wings" this cannpt be doing much for your self esteem which appears to be already deflated. Good luck and keep us posted.