Help Please!

I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now and am so up in the air about having the surgery. I am almost 400 lbs and I'm also scared not to have the surgery. Just last week I switched to a new PCP and she is working with me to see what is best for me - whether it be surgery or not. At least I feel like I am working with someone that cares about me. One of the suggestions she made is that I see a counselor/therapist and I know from reading so many of your profiles etc that this is usally part of your pre-op visits. What I am wondering is if anyone can recommend a therapist in Fairfield County that deals with weight issues? Also, I'm really putting myself out here - maybe it is a step ahead I don't know - but was anyone else just so petrified about the decision? I feel like I'm playing Russian roullette...will the weight or the surgery kill me first? Any help is really, truly appreciated. Heather

Hi Heather I went back and forth for a long time too, in making the decision. What finally did it for me was a girl in my same office did it. She is much heavier than I am, and she has lost like 125lbs since January. She had like no pain and no problems w/ surgery and I thought to myself, that could be me getting healthier and thinner. I spoke to my doctor and he said the risks for the lap band and not too bad. Lap band is not as risky as gastric bypass, although every surgery is risky, dont get me wrong. Belive me, with all the appts you have to have 1st, you know you are ready by the time you are there. Its not like you cant change you mind, if you decide its not for you. I have my last nutrition appt tomorrow AM, and then I am done! I cant wait. Then the office told me I would get an appt with the Dr with in a week or 2 and he will give me a surgery date. I hope my thoughts helped you. I am glad to answer any questions you may have. Being ppre-op I usually cant answer many, but at your stage I may be of some help. Good luck and keep me posted. Bree

Hi Heather, You are in the right place here to ask and receive advice......as you already know, everyone is so nice here. Bree is right, all of the consults that we go through are enough to make help you decide at the end if you really want surgery or not. And the therapy session will really helptoo. Good luck and I hope to read more from you soon~ ~Bethany

Hi Heather, Enjoyed your post. I must say to your question, "What will kill me first, surgery or being so overweight?" And the answer (as per my surgeron's 'Dr Aranow' statement: YOUR WEIGHT or the co-morbidities/illnessess associated with your obesity...will probably kill you before the surgery will...(By the way...he gives an awesome 2 hr seminar that will open your eyes VERY WIDE) Please, make the decision for YOU...do what you need to do TO SAVE YOURSELF. It's all I can say. It's a long and pondering process that we all constantly question as to if it's the right thing to do...right up to the moment of surgery. It's a big operation and can be very serious. Find a surgeon with a FANTASTIC track record (I travelled an hour to Dr Aranow from RI because I feel he's the best and has the best record and technique and before and after care programs...it was worth the travel time for all of the appts to have the best work on my insides) I'm two weeks out and I can already say that YES...this was the best thing for me. I feel like I have a new lease on life, that I've saved myself from an early death and from getting serious illnesses from being so out of control with eating and obesity. This surgery has already slowed my feelings of being out of control down, and that's a great feeling. Not to mention that I've lost 20 lbs in the first two weeks! Speaking with a therapist can be a great thing in making your decision, try to find someone and talk it out. Best of luck to you... paula

Hi Heather, I am also pre-op and even though I have researched and researched, I think it is only normal to have the feelings that you have. I know I am scared - I have my first appointment with Fairfield Bariatrics in November. I am very excited and scared at the same time. I am hoping (if insurance will allow and I think it will), to have the lap band so I am not so worried about the surgery, but I have other things to worry about with my after care (I am a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump). It is scary but I am tired of living as a Morbidly Obese person and not feeling healthy. That is my main goal - I want to have the energy to keep up with everyone. I am tired of being tired. I look forward to getting off my blood pressure medication and others. Healthy is my goal. I wish you much luck in your decision. You have to do what is best for yourself. Take Care, Nancy K

Hi Heather, I might just be your neighbor! The therapist that works with patients from Fairfield County Bariatrics works almost exclusively with people with weight issues. I don't know which doctor you're considering, but I would strongly recommend seeing her. I would be glad to e mail you directly with her name and information and would be glad to talk with you, via e mail, on the phone or in person with any questions that you might have regarding the Dr.'s at FCB or the surgery in general. Anythig that I can do to help, I'd be glad to. Get back to me and let's talk. All the best, Bob (2 year post op, end of month, -150lbs)

Hey gorgeous! Towanda

I can't thank you all enough. You really are amazing people. This is such a tumultuous time for me - making such life changing decisions. I was thinking about all of this last night and one of the things that popped into my head was am I afraid who I will be without the weight? I know it sounds crazy but has anyone else felt this way? I can't remember a time when I wasn't overweight and I'm wondering if that is part of my hesitation. I think that this is for me...I just need to keep reading and moving forward.

I think you hit the nail on the head there Heather...Who will I be without the weight? You know for many of us- our weight is our crutch, our wall, our excuse to hide under the covers and not face life. Taking it down , removing that barrier- is a huge leap of faith for many of us. I am luck to have a very supportive husband - who loves me for me- but I still have the fears about this like everyone else- and its a big thing. Who will I be a hundred pounds from now? Or more likely- how will it be to be seen differently? Will people I thought were my friends still be my friends? There was a gorgeous young woman at our support group a few weeks back- HOWEVER she lost her best friend in all this. She described it as " I was her fat friend" "The one she hung out with to get attention on herself" I felt bad forher- she did this for her health- not her looks, not her own pride, just her health, and her new body has shown her that the world she lives in is full of fake people and lies. Maybe I will find out things like thsi too- but it will not stop me. I have four kids I want to see have their own kids...I can't do it like this. Work on this one- Who will you be? I say we will still be us- just take up less space on the bus.

I can't tell you how much you've all helped me in just a day. I know that I need to do this for myself and for my beautiful little girl. I want to run after her and ride amusement park rides and enjoy her life with her. I think I'm ready to make the leap - just need to be sure that I'll fly when I do.