Why we lose weight

I think I am getting the big picture more and more as the weight loss continues. The process is meant to allow us to go on with life. I just got off the phone with my grandfather, who is 97 and residing at a retirement community (not nursing home) in California. I haven't talked to him in 5 or 6 years, and the concept of holding a 40 minute conversation was impossible. It was a very hard thing to call, and certainly not due to any faults on his part. I think it was just something I was scared of doing, and the reasons are complex. I am not sure why weight loss surgery would help, but it did. Now to face the fact that there are other goals out there that I should address. Dave

Good point-once you have scaled the 100 foot wall, the 10 foot and 25 foot walls aren't so daunting.

Dave~ So true... so true. I do believe that there is so much more involved with our healing journey than our food plans, exercise, etc. While they are the basics that give us the weightloss (along with the wonderful tool of bypass or lapband we have been given by our surgeons) .... it is the head stuff that keeps us growing and expanding. I have learned so much in my support groups about how to "live my life out in the world" again. Some of it for the first time. To have cognitive tools that I can take with me so not to have as much fear is a great thing. I was paralyzed by my morbid obesity, more in my soul/heart/head than in my body. And my body was a hurting puppy. I am truely grateful for each moment when I can make strides towards living my life and loving each day. I do believe in collective energy. So... On that note... I do believe we do this thing called life, together... each of us going off to our respective life tasks, taking with us our "friends" ... all the wonderful people we have met since beginning this WLS journey. It's a kick huh? Towanda

Dave I can relate to what you wrote. I actually started reazling this just last week. Some of the problems in my relationships with people--were actually my inability to "let them in". I am so glad you had a good conversation with your grandfather. I hope there will be plenty more--life is short. Joanie

I think for me it is also painful to realize the amont of time lost due to fear, in whatever manefestation that may be. For me, in no particular order are the things that I want to "conquer": 1) Writing a short story (and getting it published) 2) Singing 3) Learning to speak Finnish, Japanese, Spanish 4) Learning to sail again 5) Running/jogging (actually I am working on this one)

I am so glad I come to this message board, the support really helps.

Hey Dave- I'm glad to hear that you were able to reconnect with your Grandfather. i hope your conversations are able to continue and that you both are able to find some fulfillment from them. I also believe it is good to set big goals as well as small ones. I think so many of us are afraid to even think about the big goals- or think that they are so unatainable simply because we do so much judging of ourselves because of such obstacles as exteme weight. When it seems that we cannot even accomplist a "small" goal- or what seems small relative to the really huge ones, it can be very disheartening. But once we are able to make progress with the weight goals- they don't seem so daunting anymore and we become more open to all of our potential. I know that personally, my relationship has improved with my family dramtically since surgery. Going into the procedure my family told me point blank that they did not approve, nor would they be supportive in any way regarding my decision. That was a very big blow for me, as I have always (to a fault) looked to my family for approval on everything that I have ever done. It was the biggest leap of faith for me to look at them and say "I am doing this- with or without your approval. I do not need your permission, this is about me and a problem and burden you will never understand". It took everything I had to do it- and I don't regret it for a minute. I have been able to show myself that I can trust my insticts, and I do not need anyone's validation. I now see the respect that my family does have for me, simply because I stood up for myself and made the best decision for me. We have spent many hours discussing all the ins and outs of this proces since WLS, and we have any come out changed from the experience. I think once you can conquer your biggest fear, your biggest burden that is holding you back from the rest of your life- everything else seems possible and other fears seem to pale in comparison. So for all those who have made the commitment to yourself- congratulations! This is just the beginning folks- there is so much we have yet to explore out in the world and within ourselves. Everyone please pat yourselves on the back today- give yourself a hug and know that there are so many that do support you and understand how huge it is to no longer be huge. Love to all -Erica

Dave, I love that you share these thoughts with us on the message board. Thank you. You described something I had been thinking of, but couldn't put it into words. Love, Tammy

I think I am fine if there is a cross between meaningful and silly. Flip a coin and see what comes up. Dave