Weight re-gain and coping w/ stress

I'm 3 1/2 years out and initially I lost about 130 lbs...Then, last year, a whole lot of stres**** us as a family and hasn't let up since and I regained about 30 lbs...I was freaked out at first, but, I knew that some weight gain would happen, but, I knew it was my own fault for the weight gain.

Bob, my husband, also has had WLS one year after I did...he's regained too...now, you'd think that two people that lost a heck of a lot of weight would stay and stick together to keep our weight down...BUT, I guess sometimes the stress overwhelms us so badly that the carb monster takes us over and soothes us more than the good food does...

So, the reason for my post?  Well, it's been over a year and I've really not done anything to lose more weight...the stress has even gotten worse...I know, no excuses...I'm overdue with Dr Aranow and I know that I posted that long ago...I've still NOT gone...he's mailed me two cards and now a registered letter...He just wants me to come in for a check, but, i'm too embarrassed that I failed this program..something I had my heart so set on doing and doing right and finally getting a handle on my weight...

Am I a 3X-4X-5X size like I was??  NO...I'm just one or two sizes up...instead of a 16 regular, I'm a 16W in Land's End clothes...my favorite clothes to wear.  SO, I can still pat myself on the back.

I guess I need to post to people that know what I'm going through and will understand how I'm feeling without judgement and ridicule...

What am I asking for? I don't really know.  A push maybe, but, right now, I'm not ready to do anything about getting back on track, our situation here at home is still very fragile and we're not sure what's going to happen with Bob and his job.  SO, I guess I just need support to let me know that it's gonna be ok..the eating part, the gaining part, etc.  I have great support for the stress part, it's the eating and WLS part that I need support for.

Thanks all,

Paula

We still love you Paula! Crap happens and the stress you have had is not the run of the mill stress. When you are ready to get back on track we will be here to help. Oh, GO SEE DR.A NOW!!!!

Paula,
Move closer to the monitor for a second
:::::WHACK::::::

There, I just knocked some sense into your head.
Get with the program.......NOW!!!!!

P.S. Remember, we all love you and are here to help you in anyway possible.

P.S.S. Dr. A sends registered letters if you don't make appointments????

When you're due for your yearly appt, you'll get a card in the mail saying it's time to schedule...if you ignore that, they send you another card...if you ignore that, they'll, in time, send you a registered, return receipt accepted letter, then, if you let more time go by, he'll call you in person in the evening...It's never happened to me, yet...it will if I don't schedule...but, I've heard it from someone that let it go and he called..

the letter just says that he'd like to keep you in his program so that you get the proper nutrition and care and have proper blood levels cause it's very important to monitor them..and if you chose not to continue care with him, to let them know, but to also let them know what doctor will be following your care...

for me, it's embarassment, shame, all the good old stuff that kept us fat...when i was losing and looked great and felt great and had no stress, etc (honeymoon phase), i loved going in to see him..like showing your dad or mom an all A's report card to get praise...loved the flattery from him...but, i'm ashamed that I let stress get to me and don't want to face him...it's weird...he'd send me right to a shrink to work with my "head" issues, I know...I'll call...soon...sometime...soon...whenever...someday...maybe...

IT"S ALL MY OWN FAULT....I know it is...I'm being stupid and childish..I'm being deifant in this right now because I cannot be defiant with the stress of my husband losing his job, having to borrow a god awful amount from his 401K to sue the federal government to try to get his job back...the  gov F****** around with him, etc.  I cannot call up Obama and yell at him, etc.

It's weird...it's strange..and now, I had to quit therapy cause of our insurance, no job, high co-pays, have to prioritize food vs therapy, etc.

Life has handed us a whole grove of lemon trees this past year and we're trying to keep up with the harvesting of them, not to mention making lemonade!!!

thanks for the support...and the eyes (aka shoulder/ear) to listen/read me...

can you tell i'm down today???  i am

p

 Paula, I totally understand the stress and think we all can feel the embarrassment and shame. Please look back on all the good that you accomplished and know that Dr. A will not make you feel bad. He only wants what is best for you and may be able to help you deal with the issues, before it all gets out of control. You are a strong person who made your tool work for you once and you can do it again.

Please pick up the phone and call and get off this detour that has derailed your journey. You can do it.  If you need help please let us know. We are all here for you.

Nancy

thanks, nancy...

paula

Paula,
Always remember I have 2 shoulders available 24/7 and always have a full box of tissues handy.

PLEASE CALL DR. A NOW. HE IS A KIND PERSON AND HE HAS THE SUPPORT STAFF TO HELP. JUST HOLD YOUR NOSE AND JUMP IN. WE ALL COULD BE IN YOUR SHOES AND WILL NEED YOUR HELP. HUGS DELPHY(AKA ROSALIE)

Hi Paula...I haven't been on here for such a long time...I'm glad to see some of the old-timers...(hi Kathy)...you know that if any of us were typing about the same thing..you would be on here lovingly DEMANDING that we call the dr. and get the ball rolling....you know that the bark is much worse than the bite and it just may be what you need to get back on this side of the line ....just what the dr. ordered'....I am sure that if~WHEN  you go, if you come on the boards and share...it may just be what alot of US need....there are plenty of us out here who have relaxed with the rules and could use the help of a few friends to help us keep on track...toe the line....we could have a small group on here and commit to  keep each other accountable....just a suggestion...Also,have you tried yoga??  Since you are online you could google it..I know there are a few yoga shows on if you you have cable and it is very good AND satisfying for the soul...and your physical self...I know that it won't take your problems away...but it would take your mind off them for the 30 minutes or so that you are doing it....ok...hope you get some relief soon with the finances...and CALL THAT DOCTOR...if he cares enough to send you a registered letter then he wouldn't want to hear that a few pounds are keeping you from seeing him....he knew you before you lost the weight and I am sure he would want to be a part of the NEW PROGRESS that you be making!!  ~laura

Okay Paula, listen closely, cuz I sooooo feel your pain!  I had my WLS in 2005 and lost 85 lbs.  I never met my goal, but was able to maintain for quite a while.  Then in 2005 I transferred to a new job within State gvmt.  I worked there 9  months, and lost my job !!!! Yes, I was 5 weeks short of 20 yrs and LOST my job.  I'm single, have a mortage and no family to speak of except some elderly aunts/uncles.  To add to the dilemma, my wonderful dog was diagnosed with Cushings Disease and died!  I was caring for my elderly aunt who had ALzhiemers Disease and she died as well!  I was a MESS!  I started eating and gained like 12 lbs!  I couldn't stop the carb chaos!  I was depressed, no $$$, scared out of my pants, and ready for a break.  I was fighting state government trying to get my name cleared and my job back, and the union was F^&*(   me around!  I hadn't looked for a job in 20 yrs...didn't know that I'd be discriminated against cuz I was going to be 50!!! I felt like such a loser; I paced my house, cried, and stayed on the internet all night looking for a job....and eating of course!!!

Then I signed up w/a temp agency and they placed me at this wonderful job.  The $$$ was a lot less, but my boss is awesome and I love working!  I started to lose the weight I gained, and this past summer, I had a TT.  It's still hard to maintain!!!  I'm up about 7 lbs from the holiday, but working on getting it off.  I took a home equity line to pay for my surgery cuz my self esteem needed it.

PS I did get my named cleared and ended up resigning from the state for my sanity!

SO there is light...believe me....feel free to email me any time and we can talk!  I will pray that things get better for you and your hubby (I'm very spiritual not extremely religious).

Don't beat yourself up, cuz that makes it 10x worse! Start to like you again....

Good luck!

xoxox
JA