when people say stupid things

chrissyinct
on 12/15/08 12:14 am - plainville, CT
Lap Band on 11/17/08 with
About you having WLS, How do you react?
Meaning what do you say as comeback.

At work some people know I have had surgery and some don't. My weight loss is starting to show and someone asked me today if I have been losing weight and how I did it. I told them I had lapband and they said "why didn't you try naturally?"
Ummm I have! and I have the documentation proving it!
She said it's not in your head it's in your heart!

I just walked away!
If people only knew what I went thru and what finally made me decide to do this, they would realize it's NOT the easy way out! It's FAR from easy!

So just wondering if you were ever put in a situation like this and what you did.

thanks
chris
Richbehr
on 12/15/08 1:01 am - North Haven, CT
RNY on 03/24/08 with
Chris,
People are rude and ignorant. Face it. I get asked "why did'nt you just put the fork down"?
I just say "personal reasons" and leave it at that. Sometimes I say "because I'd be dead if I did'nt have this surgery". I only discuss it if I WANT to.
Good luck!

 
"Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave. Our birth is nothing but our death begun."

Kathy W.
on 12/15/08 1:35 am - Enfield, CT
RNY on 01/15/08 with
Ya know, the only people who have said stupid things are people I knew were stupid before so they don't count. My manager at work thought I was crazy cause she couldn't do it but she did support me with it. My hubby's family is still a mess. Only a few people encourage me. People who found out after the fact that I did it have been nothing but positive. I guess I have just been very lucky or blessed to have wonderful support at work and church since I don't have it in the family here. I did tell someone in his family who told me it was the easy way,"Oh yeah, I had my guts rearranged and I can't eat much! IT WAS SO DAMN EASY!!!" Hmmmmmm, maybe that's why they aint positive to me about it. LOL

I shall now be know as Hagatha: Queen of the queens.

Baby 7-09

Xavier Elliott born 10-5-10

bellmad
on 12/15/08 9:39 pm - North Branford, CT
People can be difficult...but I try to remember...long ago...before my cardiologist told me if I wanted to live ... I needed to have a gastric bypass...I thought ... it was the easy way to lose weight...honestly...and then I had the surgery...and Kathy really hit the nail on the head with her description...so we will leave it at that...and YES...the first 100 pounds was not so difficult....it is the next 100 pounds that have KILLED me...LOL... and the few people who thought I had taken the easy road........now know how hard I work ..... and I hold my head high when I am at the gym... mainly to keep the sweat out of my eyes...but high just the same...

ignorance is bliss..... just remember that!

you are doing a wonderful job Chris...keep it up!
RaeRae1
on 12/16/08 7:56 am - Waterbury, CT
I made the decision early on to tell very few people about my surgery.  I wasn't ashamed of it, I just didn't want the commentary about it.  After the surgery, I returned to work where people were excited for me.  When I returned to work, I had lost about 30 pounds and people noticed but didn't really say much.  Now, at 60 pounds lost, They are REALLY taking notice and most have mustered up the courage to ask me about the surgery.  I am very open about it and when people make negative comments, I basically say "I did what I needed to do for me" and I leave it at that.   If that doesn't' work, I just pull out the "Mind your own business card". 



 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

 

  
MichaelB
on 12/18/08 9:39 am - Wethersfield, CT
RNY on 12/01/08 with
I decided to be completely open with most people about my choice. When people ask why, I reply to improve the quality of life with my daughter, who is 3. That is really the complete, honest truth. There are other reasons, but that's the biggest for me. I'm only three weeks out, and nobody so far has been negative, just a lot of general questions. I go back to work next Monday, where I'm sure I'll run into some idiots. I'm already known as a sarcastic wiseass, so no one will be shocked when I reply "So it will be easier to chase you down and kick your A$$!"
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

MastaP
on 12/19/08 7:07 am - Bristol, CT
I was open about it upfront.  I returned to work and had only positve feedback.  Everyone has been very supportive...at least to my face.  Just kidding, I feel they are genuine.  Now that it has been 2 months and about 70 pounds gone people really notice and comment about it positively.  They seem to understand that it is not the easy way out.  Especially when I explain what I go through everyday.  Mostly, they ask how I am feeling and really seem to care.  Thankfully, it appears that I am surrounded by decent people.  And if any of them comment behind my back that is fine.  But when they ask and I explain, they really seem to get it.  The people that make negative comments are uneducated and ignorant.  It's too bad that they are out there.  My advice is to be honest and explain to them what you are feeling and going through.  Make them understand that it's not the easy way out.  And if they are still to ignorant to understand then it's not worth discussing it with them further. 
MRR
on 12/22/08 4:19 am - Hartford, CT
I usually explain to people that obesity is a disease and the most effective treatment is surgery. If that doesen't work, I then tell them that ignorance is a far worse disease than obesity.
pammy157
on 12/22/08 11:29 am - colchester, CT
RNY on 03/30/04 with
Its almost 5 years since I had my surgery. I was out of work for 2 weeks when I went back I'd dropped 30 pounds. I had to tell people what I had done because they were all thinking the worse! There had been two people a year ahead of me who had had gastric bypass so my co-workers already had some education on what I had done.
There were still a few who didn't know.
One day I was at the copier and a coworker came to me and said you've dropped alot of weight how did you do it? I said I had gastric bypass. She was upset! why did you do that it is so stupid to do that. I would never do that to myself. She went on for a few minutes. I said I made my choice and I' mhappy with it. She left and one of my friends came to me and said aren't you mad at her? I said no. I'm not mad at her and I'll tell you why. It is her fear of what I had done. Her fear because she wants to lose weight too. I give her a month two at most and she will be askimg me for my doctors name.
She lasted 2 weeks. when she came to me I was ready and gave her Dr A.s phone number. She had her surgery 8 months after and looks abo****ely wonderful!
Im very pleased with my 125 pound weight loss. I look normal and feel good. She looks fantastic! she surpassed my 125 pounds and has had surgery tummy tucks arm lifts the works. she is just beautiful.
So sometimes it is their fears that makes them say things.
The rest of them are just rude so they do not require an answer!
good luck and god bless,
maboots
on 2/9/09 4:54 am
That is a big concern of mine as well.  Do I tell people or not.  I do not want to hear the negativity.  I do not have a surgery date yet, but have pretty much been approved.  I am very excited about it, but don't think I want to share my excitement for fear of the negative people out there who just wouldn't understand. 
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