I'm Trying To Get Back in the Groove -- LONG Update!

Hi kids. I know there are LOTS of new faces since I last appeared with regularity, and I'd like to get to know you all. I'm glad I still see familiar faces. I'm posting my update to my page, just to give a taste of the struggles/victories we all have on this journey. Hope everyone has a great weekend!! Life's been busy taking over for me, and I've suffered some mis-steps, but back on track. Where to start on the catch-up? Well, as several CT board people know, I got engaged, on December 6th, in front of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. Very romantic. Of course, then the craziness started. The holidays, lots of celebrations, lots of food (which I was able to tolerate, demmit!!), lots of planning (stress!), the cold weather, then illness and death in John's family, lethargy, sweet tooth mania's return, etc. After staying away from the gym since the holidays began, I went back in early April & forced myself to get on the scale -- I had gained 12 POUNDS!!!!!!!!! I had been eating as if I never had surgery and not exercising, and it came back to slap me in the face in a big way! I spent a few days feeling tremendous self-loathing. I couldn't believe this had happened. I hadn't had 2 surgeries & could have died from the complications I had, just to gain the weight back!! Soooo, I declared party time over and started again. I can't get myself to eat less than 1000 calories at this stage in the game, but I have lost back 6 of those awful pounds, and I'm back to the gym with regularity. At least I feel like I can bring back some control. The battle is EXACTLY the same as it was before surgery. You can't just let things go & not expect negative consequences. I pray for success in getting this weight off & getting in better shape again. I can still climb the 6 flights of stairs from the bottom of the building in our plant without dying, but it's getting easier now that I'm back at the gym. I have to be vigilant every day. Some days I really, really, really resent it, but the journey continues. After all, I have to get into a wedding dress in December, so duty calls! Yes, the wedding plans are made, and now all we have to do is sell everything we own so we can afford it! Neither John nor I make a whole lot of money but manage to have a whole lot of expenses (living in Fairfield County does NOT help). He really wanted the more traditional wedding with friends & family, so that's what we're having. I never thought I could afford it so I didn't expect it, but here I am, and I am looking forward to loving faces around me on that big day. Luckily, his family is contributing more than 1/2 the money, so we're in luck there. I bought a BEAUTIFUL wedding dress. It's strapless (I KNOW!!), and the back is a corset. The only ornamentation on the dress is clear Swarowski crystals on the bodice, at the waist, where the material is shirred, and along the back seam. Beautiful! I actually do look like a princess in it. I don't think I'll spend $1,500 on a dress ever again, so I better look fabulous!! I have dresses picked out & approved for and by my bridesmaids; my sister is the only one that remains -- save the worst for last!! I'm not giving her a lot of choice, so that will help me. We're having the reception at the Cobbs Mill Inn in Weston -- a 200+ year old mill that was turned into an inn. Very rustic, cozy, romantic. On a waterfall, etc. We're going to Mont Tremblant in Quebec for a ski honeymoon (hope they'll have snow then!). I really can't wait until it's here, if only because all the decisions will be made & checks written out, and I can just have the day! So, all my friends *****ad this, please pray for me in my journey back down the scale. I'm hoping to have "reconstructive" surgery, but I don't know if it's going to be approved; I just need to learn to live with it. Acceptance. Been trying for 30+ years to accept what is with my body. Hmmm... So, I'm eating my protein, trying to stay away from heavy carbs and sugars, trying to exercise at least every other day. God, please be with me!!! I'm going to try to use this forum more so I can shoot out all that I need to get out of my system to make the journey easier. Ciao!! Kathy F.

Wow Kathy, so much has been going on for you. I don't get much of a chance to keep up with the board either so we're in the same boat there. It seems I can tolerate all foods now as well and it is so much harder to lose! You just keep trying your best and take it easy on yourself, the weight will come off. Lots of luck to you! (With wedding plans too! Christine

Wow Kathy, talk about life happening. Sounds like you definetly have a full plate right now. Glad the wedding plans are all worked out and everything is coming together. Sounds like everything is right on track there. Kudos to you for fighting back those 12 pounds that creeped up on you. It is great that you have already taken half of them off. I'm sure the other six will be off in no time at all. Good luck to you, Maggie

Kathy, Congrats on your upcoming wedding plans. Pat yourself on the back for realizing you were in trouble and getting back on track before the 12 lbs became 25lbs or god forbid more! Good luck with your journey and keep us posted! Take care, Kelly

Kathy, You are a great inspiration. You look great, and you were able to get back up on that horse again and ride!!! I'm 9 months out, down 67 lbs and holding. I am losing hair, and not losing weight. I'm getting discouraged...hope I can make it down the WL path all the way til the end. Good luck to you and with your wedding! I am soooo very happy for you! xo JA