Cooking Fanatic, getting counseling -

I am starting counseling tonight for my food issues because after my surgery I have become obsessed with cooking. Besides the obvious things, Im addicted to food, cooking it brings me comfort (obviously), even though I cant eat it, I want to feed others, which (obviously) must be feeding a need I have within myself to be near food for comfort. I decided to see a counselor to see if I could get to the root problem with food. The problem is so bad, I cook so much I have to give the food away to the neighborhood. I make so much of it. You should have seen Easter at my house. My husband was worried that I would never want to cook again after my surgery because a women he knows who had the surgery, refused to cook for her family after her surgery. I had told him I would not do that to him, but now its taken on a morbid obsession with the opposite effect on me. I cant stop cooking. You think Im kidding, look at what I cooked this past weekend in preparation for Easter, and the work week. I am printing this post to bring with me to the counselor. Saturday & Sunday, I cooked 3 dozen pierogis a lasagna pan full of cheesy cottage potatos green bean casserole 2 large kielbasas fruit salad cranberry bread, banana bread and cheese babka potato salad tuna macaroni salad jello mold a roast chicken a lasagna pan full of chicken enchilladas a baked ham an assortment of pepperoni, summer sausage, cheese and crackers, assorted spreads for crackers a package of gourmet hot horderves a huge (40 apples) apple crisp I gave most of it away because my husband and son could not possibly eat it all. I fed my neighbors, my family. This is insane. Im spending tremendous amounts of money on food, Im in the grocery store all the time. My family finally told me that I had to stop, thats when I called the counselor. There has to be more to it than food was my friend and I miss it, so I cook it. For a while it was funny. I would say "If I cook it, they will come". Like the line from that Kevin Costner baseball movie, "If you build it, they will come". But its not funny anymore. This is sick behavior. My husband has gained 25 pounds since I had my surgery. 25 POUNDS! That was just 2 months ago. Of course he is partly to blame because he eats these huge ice cream sundays at night. Its not so much my cooking, he doesnt really over eat on that. Its the ice cream thats putting on the weight for him. I have been trying to get to the bottom of my behavior, and have thought of the obvious things. Im an adult child of alcoholics. My husband is an active alcoholic. Part of that makes me unhappy. Im worried about his business right now not doing so good. I am a food aholic, instead of an alcoholic. I turn to food for comfort. This is all the obvious stuff. But there has to be more to it than that. Something Im missing or cant see. The best people for me to ask about that are all of you. In your journeys have any of you come across this in your lives? Did you discover the root cause? What did you do about it? Im trying to sift through the details of my life to figure this out so I can get my act together. I must conquer this before my 6 months is up or I could be in danger of eating this food Im cooking. So any help any of you offer would be appreciated. thanks & blessings to all Lauren .

Lauren, I sooo understand. Since having surgery, I have been cooking too, but not to your extreme. I have this low-carb cookbook and have been working through that, changing the way I cook for the family. I had guests for Easter, and made a turkey with stuffing, carrots, low-carb cheesecake and low-carb oatmeal cookies. I stay away from the stuff, and the family is getting low-carb alternatives. I also am a child of an alcoholic. I have never seen a therapist, but probably should. You are being very brave and intelligent to see one and getting to the root of the problem. Let us know how you are doing! Pam

Hi Lauren, I have been quite the chef since my surgery, too. I don't really cook large volumes, but I have tried so many new recipes my family never knows what to expect. I have for the most part avoided cooking sweet stuff, except at Christmas and for my daughter's birthday and bake sale. But, I am spending alittle more on groceries because of the ingredients in some of the recipes. I would not say I am out of control, but I definitely am aware that creating masterpieces if also filling some kind of need for me. I am a compulsive eater, and a recovering alcoholic by the way. I have been sober for 22 years believe it or not. I stopped young. Too bad my food recovery took many many more years. I spent many years in AA, and I have attended Overeaters Anonymous for several years, (not since surgery though), and I worked on alot of my issues regarding food. Food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, shopping, gambling, all fill a void in people. For me it was food, alcohol, cigarettes and relationships (men). I am also the adult child of two alcoholics, and both my grandfathers and one grandmother were alcoholic as well. I grew up feeling like I was never good enough. It wasn't anyone's fault, it's just how things were. As children, my sister and I were only allowed to show positive feelings...we were criticized or punished for crying or getting angry. I spent years stuffing my feelings down, and food helped to do that. I got almost a calming feeling eating food, until of course I would eat so much I would then feel sick and upset with myself. My point is, that even though we are not eating like that anymore because of the surgery, the reasons we ate like that are still there unless we learn how to fill the void within ourselves. If we stop drinking, we may start eating, or gambling, etc. Personally, I have issues remaining, and I am fighting the shopping thing. I see I am getting carried away with buying new clothes, etc. I get a temporary good feeling from buying a book or CD online, etc. I have made alot of progress over the last few years, but I still have more to go. I am sorry this is so long, I just wanted to let you know that you are certainly not alone. I also would like to suggest OA because it is free for one thing, and it helped me tremendously, to understand why I felt I had to get my good feelings from outside of myself thru food or relationships. I can now pretty much get my good feelings from within myself, and that frees me from the obsession with food. I hope this helps you Lauren. Anne

Hi Lauren, I used to cook big, but since surgery I have not cooked much at all. I seem to get sick being around food, the smells make me sick. I know it is probably psychological. I started seeing a therapist a few months before surgery to get at my food issues. I will say that has helped me greatly. I hope you will get the answers you need. My issues right now is fear of food, I know it will take time. Keep your head up. Dena