Long Time, No Talk ... Struggling!!

Hi gang! Remember me?? Everything's been so crazy these days. Since getting engaged early December, the holidays, etc., everything's been a blur. Lots of good stuff, but good stuff that causes stress. Hope everyone's doing well. Still think about everyone. I'm not even going to try to read all the old posts & see what's happened -- if anything good has happened to any of you, please send me a note so I can share the good news!! I guess I'm writing today because I feel lost. I've lost all eating discipline, and seem to be compulsively eating. Lots of junk ... not as much as I would have in the old days, but I certainly seem to be trying to push the limits like crazy. I think I need a pep talk from some of my great people here so maybe I won't feel like I'm alone in this struggle. I think the biggest part is the wedding -- lots of money to be spent, arrangements, etc. -- we pushed it back to December of this year so we could save more. Anywho, I know to go back to FitDay. I've started it several times ... but not made it through the day because I'd start eating something I shouldn't and I didn't want to enter it. I'm going back to old habits of not monitoring because I don't want to know. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the dreary post. I know the answers. I just needed to reach out to some people who would understand. You newbies can't possibly imagine having your appetite back to such an extent. I almost wish I had more trouble tolerating foods, so it wouldn't be so easy to eat again! Ahh, the early months ..... Thanks for e-listening. Peace, Kathy F.

Hi Kathy: It's good to see your face again. I can't offer any words of wisdom because I could have been the one writting your post. I am in the EXACT same place but I don't have stress to blame. I hate this time of year and it always gets the best of me. All I want to do is sit in front of the TV and be cuddled in a blanket. There's not even anything I want to watch! I have been picking non-stop. It's very frightening. So maybe someone can offer both of us some advice. Thanks for posting. Carolyn

Carolyn -- We sound like twins!! I can't wait to get home to sit in my big comfy chair with my blanket over my legs. Broken only by the many times I get up to get something out of the fridge! I'm going to go back to the gym, although I'm fighting it hard psychologically (don't ask me why), and Anne's suggestion of writing emotions down is a good one ... perhaps I could be organized enough to carry a journal with me? Let's keep hanging in there, and let's touch base -- maybe we can help each other out of this rut! XO Kathy F.

Hi Kathy AHHHHHH I remembered how stress it was when I am planned for my wedding. Are you going to have Christmas wedding? You are right... I am newbies and is praying that I will keep excercise everyday to keep me busy to not think of foods or relapses. It sounds like emotion eater to me because of alot of stress you are going through. Do you think you have time to do excercise for an hour for youseself to release your stress? Try to put healthly snacks like fruits, drink more fluids and call few of WLS people for support to help you to talk with like sponsor. I am praying for you! Hugs Kathy K

Kathy Thanks for your kind words. I'm headed to the gym tonight ... though I SOOOO don't want to go!! I've got to get started again. It was a good step for me today to talk to you guys -- hopefully that'll help a lot. Thanks again. You're such a sweetheart!! XO Kathy F.

I am so proud of you to go back to gym again ! You can do it !!! Kathy K

Hello Kathy! Good to see you back around here! Sorry to hear you're so stressed, but it's par for the course right now. As far as your wedding goes.. don't ru**** you're the only two people that really count, so do what makes YOU happy. I can really relate to what you're going through.. and I'm only 8 months out. I can tolerate just about anything, besides milk products and lots of sugar.. and that just sucks!! I really had no idea that I'd get a "normal" appetite again... besides hearing about "the honeymoon being over". I find myself pushing it on some days. The other day, I had a serious stress issue and I literally hurt myself with eating some food. I don't know why I did it, other than the stress, but why do I turn to food? I'm good at yelling!! so why do I internalize it?? Like it's been said all too often.. we have surgery on our stomachs, not on our brains.. even though that would be better. You should be proud of what you HAVE accomplished and know you WILL accomplish more. Just do this for you.. I'm sure that's enough to get you back on track. You already know the answers.. but I hope it helps to get some support here. I know it really does work for me. Tomorrow is a new day. Keep in touch!! Take care, Michelle

Michelle -- Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's a shock when you realize you're able to eat food again, isn't it? I wish I COULD have surgery on my brain to remove all the psychological junk that keeps me tied to my compulsive behaviors. Guess that's some serious wishful thinking! You guys are amazing. I'm so glad I came back to the boards. Have a good weekend -- stay safe!! Kathy F.

Kathy, I have missed you. Nice to see you back here. I am sorry you are having a difficult time right now. I guess I am lucky in that respect, so far I don't get really hungry. I also went to Overeater's Anonymous for a few years and learned alot about emotional eating. I try to do other things now when I am stressed out, or lonely, or bored. I take a mini-time out for myself, even if it is only counting to 10 and deep breathing, I leave the kitchen and go somewhere else for a few minutes until the feeling passes or I get involved in something and forget I wanted to munch. Sometimes I will write down what I am feeling, am I really hungry? or is it head hunger? Also, like Kathy said, doing something physical helps get your mind off it too. This stuff works for me, I hope you can find something that works for you. Don't be a stranger around here!! Anne

Anne -- You're doing great with the food alternatives -- be very proud of yourself! I am headed to the gym tonight (ugh!!). And I would like to write more -- have to get a journal small enough to carry around with me. Thanks for the words of wisdom. Have a great weekend. Dress warm! Kathy F.