Lauren Update

The weirdness continues. I woke up at 5am real sick. Throwing up, diarrhea. Stomach pains, migraine. this thing shows up out of no where it hits me like a ton of bricks. My son, husband and I were supposed to go away this weekend for my sons motocross awards banquet. Kathy K calls me at 6am this morning, all upset about yesterdays post. Shes my angel and its upsetting her that my hubby is not exactly cooperating the way he should. I got up and was trying to talk to her thru Relay CT (its a communication service for the deaf to speak with the hearing) and unbeknowest to her Im getting sick at the same time. that poor lady on relay heard the whole thing in the background. what a nightmare. So I kind of keep the conversation short and went back to bed. I had to send hubby and son off to the banquet without me, I was just too sick. Anyway, another girlfriend from OH that just happens to have a son in motocross going to the banquet calls me and we talk about Peter comparing me to an afgan and I hear how it sounds and I just burst out laughing. It just sounds so ridiculous. then I read the posts in here, the ones from peter and shar are expecially insightful. peter has it right, my peter just plain sucks at communication. and even though im heavy he still drools over me. there IS something to be said about that. hes not a bad guy, he just is a little misguided, and then what Shar said is true. Hes going to AA, working his program as best he can but AA is a work in progress, the guy has his own addictions to deal with and maybe watching me deal with mine just turns the heat up on him having to face his own. just like when we get a bad reaction from someone we love who is fat and doesnt respond positively to our wls. because to them it points the finger at their own need to change. everyone is right, im so ready. as ready as im ever going to be prior to actually doing it. the other stuff i will have to deal with, i cant do this side of surgery because i just cant identify until im actually there. like the head hunger. so anyway, im home this weekend alone. didnt go, which is probably a good thing but i was disappointed. i was looking forward to it. so hubby and son are doing a father son thing which is always a good thing. its going to be a "live in my jammies" day. with periodic napping. I do feel tired and weak still. have kept solid food down now which is a good sign. everyone is right, hubby will come around. his concerns are genuine. i do have an afgan that i need to complete. maybe i will fini**** while im out recovering from wls and give it to him as a gift for our motorhome. wouldnt THAT be a kicker. thanks all for listening to me rant and giving me your unconditional love. i dont know what i would do without any of you. i swear the connecticut oh chapter is the best on the planet. love you all Lauren

Hi Lauren, You know what? Our surgery is a reminder to our close friends and family that we are trying to 'correct' (for lack of a better word) what we feel needs to be improved. Our health, appearance, whatever it is for each individual. Our partners and those who are close to us do have to deal with their own issues, too. Some chose to deal with them head-on and try to change them - my hubby also started to watch what he ate after my surgery and he lost 50 pounds!!! Some might try to deal with their own addictions by seeking outside help (AA, NA, OA, etc) and some try to belittle us because it's easier for them than fixing their issues. I could tell you a few stories about my SIL that would infuriate you...and they still hurt me when I think of them. It sounds like your DH has his own inner turmoil. You know he loves you, but I bet this is a scary time for him and either he doesn't want to show it, or doesn't know how. Hang in there. You have the right attitude, and all will work out. I hope you feel better, keep warm and comfy in those jammies!!! Peace, -Deb

thanks Deb, your a sister with a lot of wisdom L

Lauren, If you read my profile, you will see that I was one of those women that really wasn't sure if my marraige would survive my WLS. My husband is a friend of Bill's and has been for 15 years, but he still has a difficult time with the "new me", the more confident me, the more assertive me. You will have your ups and downs. You just have to continually check with yourself that you want this for YOU more than anything or anyone and you will be ok. Life is better for me now, but for a long time it was a rollercoaster. What you are going through now is very VERY natural. AND you are NOT alone, we are all here for you fat and thin. Remember that always. Pamper yourself this weekend, Lifetime TV has lots of great movies on. Don't worry about anything but you! What a concept! love and big warm hugs, Cheryl

Lauren, I am sorry that you are having to deal with all of this! This is not an easy road to travel, and those close to us really don't fully know how to react. Nobody likes change, and this is something they really have no control over which can scare them. I know I was not one to be assertive and proactive for myself prior to making this decision. Now I am and some people do not like the fact that I am taking control and wanting to be happy! My husband is not always supportive. Sometimes he's great, but most of the time I am on my own. He made sure I knew how much I was inconveniencing him when he went to my pre-op class and took me for the endoscopy. Also the day of surgery he "wasn't sure" he could take the day off to take me... of course there was NO problem whatsoever... Anyways with all my rambling I am trying to say you are not alone, stay strong and know you have made the right decision for YOU!!!! I hope you feel better soon! Carmen