Just a rant!

Hey everyone. I just wanted to get some support/advice whatever you lovely people have to offer. I'm coming up on my 7th month anniversary and let's just say the weight loss has almost all but stopped. I know I couldn't expect my honeymoon to last forever.. but this is depressing. Where do I go from here?? I have been looking in the mirror for the past few days and just the site of what I'm seeing brings me to tears. Luckily, I've been too busy to let it turn into depression. The hanging skin is really bothering me. I know it might seem vain, but it's really not that purpose that's making me upset about it. It's just gross. My stomach hangs and is really wrinkly. My arms are so loose right now and I know lifting weights isn't going to change it. It's gotten to the point where even wearing a short sleeve tshirt is embarrassing. My breasts.. I might as well be 90. Then I have these "side boobs" which hang out like 3rd and 4th breasts outside of my bra. They're breast tissue/skin.. there's no way it's going to bounce back. I've almost been thinking lately that I wish I was fatter again, so all that skin would be filled up again and I could live in denial, but not have to look at all the sag. I really listened to people saying "you're young, don't worry".. bullsh#t. All I see is ABUSE. I abused myself and my poor skin and you can definitely see that. Anyhow.. I guess that's just about it for now. Just feeling down about these new changes. Any insight would be helpful. I do plan on getting as much reconstructive work as possible.. but now I'm freaking out about insurance. Also..would I really be happy with the outcome after surgery?? I really wish I saw "real" results instead of just pictures.I don't want to be "cut and pasted" together. Someone just slap me.. please. Thanks for listening, as always. Michelle

Hi Michelle, I too have been struggling with waaaayyy slower weight loss the last month or two. I am not happy about it, but I also know I am not doing everything I can about it. I have not been getting in even half of my water, I exercise sporadically, once or twice a week...I was getting down about it too, but the other day I just decided if I don't do these things, then I am wasting my tool. I must exercise and I must drink the water. My hair and skin is very very dry. The weight loss is supposed to continue for 1 year to 18 months, just slowly, and with alittle more work out of us I believe. The first 6 months were a gift, now the work begins. I also have hanging skin on my thighs and stomach. I don't wish to be fat again though, because except for myself and my husband seeing it, no one else knows and I don't feel like the freak I used to feel like. I feel comfortable now, and enjoy socializing. Last year at Christmas I was so so unhappy and just wanted to hide. I don't feel like that at all now. I need plastic surgery too, but I know insurance won't cover it, so I will look into other ways to finance it when the time comes. We all abused ourselves, ther's no way around that. I get mad at myself too, but at least we were given the opportunity to have this surgery, right? Some people don't get the chance, and some of them die, and some live unhappily. I wish I had magic words to make you feel better, but just know you are not alone. I think we all have days like this. Better days are coming. Anne

Hi Michelle, I can understand where you are at, even though I have not had surgery yet...the sags are gonna be there for me..I know it..and it brings me face to face..again..with all of my self destructive tendencies that I am now paying the piper for. I have even had the debate that even though I am fat, everything is still filled out...so I am fat and unattractive..and soon I will be thin and unattractive with my clothes off...yuk either way. I have chosen to start a plastic surgery fund with the money I used to put into buying cigarettes...we just have to take baby steps and forgive ourselve for our past foibles...we ask for the strength to take one day at a time and deal with the cards we are dealt...and have dealt ourselves...the true reason to get this surgery is/was to be healthier...and everything can be accomplished even if not at once. I grieve for what I have done to myself, and that is real, but I cannot afford to stay there...there is no point and it is not helpful. I expect to have to work hard on ALL aspects of myself from here on out...and that means a lifestyle change of diet and exercise...I have heard that once the honeymoon is over we lose weight the way the "earth people" do it...back to the old diet and exercise routine. From what I have read , the tool will still work. As for the plastics...I am not that thrilled with the idea of scars all over me like a roadmap...but some I have seen are better than others...when the time is right, the means will present itself. I believe that is true for both of us. You are a beautiful young woman, inside and out!!! Pat yourself on the back for your hard work and courage!!! This too shall pass! Sher'

Hi Michelle, WE all know that Honeymoon is over someday and we must keep excercise everyday and stick our tools for rest of our lives. Maybe you try to email Linda W. and ask her about her protein diet which Kathy B and Linda W lost some weights. About plastic surgery, we all know our insurance will not cover for this and will have to use plastic surgery someday but wait little more over 1 year before you will do plastic surgery. I will be at L M hospital support group on Jan 12th at 600 pm and hope to see you there. we can talk about this issue there. Big hug Kathy K

Don't get discouraged Michelle. I went through the same thing and my weight loss kicked in again. Dr. Valin told me that he believes I will still lose quite a bit more weight. (That was nice to hear after my gall bladder surgery). I'm sure you're body is just playing catch up. Hugs, Maggie

It's not unusual to have a slow down. Give us some idea of what you're doing and we'll see if we can help you put a plan together to get going again, ok? You know, I just wanted to mention...re the skin thing...It's a trade off. First, your skin still may bounce back a bit..it takes time for it to go back. It doesn't go as fast as the weight loss. But, based on what you're saying now, it probbalby will not go back to your satisfaction. (I'm with you there) But, surgery is a trade off. You mention 'cut and paste'...that's an interesting analogy. You have to be prepared to live with the scars from PS for life too. Even though it will tighten you skin, you will have scars...and you'll probably not like those either. So, you've got to think about it. There IS a price that we pay for having done this to our bodies...and that's either stretched skin or more surgery and scars. We'll never be perfect, but we DO need to learn to accept the mistakes we've made and the damage that we've done and somehow learn to love ourselves anyway. Give it some more time, and try not to be too hard on yourself, OK?