What others are thinking...

Hey everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful turkey day. I did.. and for the first time, I didn't "feel" like I ate too much turkey (didn't have to undo the pants) I did however take a bite of every dessert on the table at some point during the day. Anyhow.. I was just wondering... do you all notice that other people comment about what you're eating these days? I didn't notice it before surgery, at all and now, everyone's watching everything that goes in my mouth. When they're downing 2 plates at a time, I'm feeling guilty for taking those 2 extra bites. It seems every time I'm around someone they expect me to eat something that can fit in a thimble and they feel the need to comment on everything I eat. Sometimes it just sucks having all eyes on me. If being a freak before surgery wasn't bad enough.. here I am a freak for other reasons. So.. just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and what should I say? I know some people don't mean to be mean, but it does bug me. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Take care, Michelle

I know exactly what you mean Michelle. Someone once even asked me if I should be eating that. It is odd. I just replied that I can still eat whatever I want, just less of it. It's tough. I just want to say again, that you look great and I hope to see you soon. Hugs, Maggie

I have 2 sets of thoughts about this....,. First of all, my own personal thoughts are based upon portion sizes of others. I look at some of the people I was with, even last night at a holiday party, and what they eat and think to myself "That's 3 days worth of food? How are they going to eat it??" I feel sad that so much of their life is controlled by food, but that is another topic for discussion. Yet, for some of them, this is nornal, even if only for a party or holiday event. Second of all, on an even more personal note, I watch what Joanne (she is 3+ years out) eats in amazement. There ae times which she takes more than enough foor to feed both of us and I am shocked over how much she eats. So I usually don't get anything myself, but eat leftovers Whatever I get for myself I do eat, and mostly enjoy. I never feel bad with what I eat. I will never empower food to control me again, and more important than that I will more let others empower themselves to control my life like that again. If I chose to do something, that is my choice. But I will do it because I want to, not because someone else expects me to, or someone else tries to makes me feel guilty not to. In the past, they watched you for everything that you ate. Now of days, they watch you for everything you eat. Surgery changes nothing on the outside, but it does allow YOU to change YOURSELF in the inside. What should you say..... How about "Gee, this tastes soooooooooooooo good!! Glad I can't eat the hole thing any more" Aren't you glad you have all those eyes on a much skinnier body?? Peter

well said Peter!! hugs pattie

I completely understand what you are saying Michelle. I had the same experience and I wanted to scream! I had a saucer full of food, a teaspoon of whatever I wanted to try and a small piece of turkey. Once I was full I took a couple more bites of mashed potatos... my MIL said "you better not call me at work tomorrow saying your stomach hurts." I was so irritated. I know my limits, and if I make myself sick, it's MY problem! Of course everyone else inhaled a week or two's worth of food, but noone cared about them! Hang in there and just let them know you are enjoying the holiday and you know what you can handle.... Carmen

Its amazing how aware I am of others watching me. The other day I was eating a protein bar..and my boss said.."That is not a candy bar is it?" I responded "sure it is!"....you should have seen the look on her face! I then told her it was a protein bar..but I could eat candy--if I chose to. Joanie

Hi Michelle, I think everyone will be so used to what you are eating that they will stop looking after awhile. It is such a novelty for some people to know someone who had WLS that it must be so interesting to them to see how much we eat and feel satisfied with. I don't think you should feel like a freak, more like a poster child for WLS. Good luck to you by the way you really do look great! Sandy

Ahhh, don't you just love people??? If I'm eating something and someone comments, if they are eating something unhealthy I'll say "Sure, I can eat this, but should YOU be eating THAT?" It stops em dead in their tracks every time. If someone is thinking they are helping I wont be so harsh, But I will let them know I can now tolerate anything and thank them for their concern. The first comment is so much more fun to see their reaction! Regardless, be proud that you only took a bite of every dessert, if you are anything like me I would have had one of every dessert, not just a bite, two years ago! Peace, -Deb

Michelle, First let me start by saying that is precisely the reason I only shared the fact that I was having this surgery with my "closest" friends. There are a handful of people at work that I told, and hopefully they didn't tell the world, but if they did, I don't care. I remember the constant questions anytime I was dieting, and I refused to allow that to happen this time. That's also the other reason I use my initials online here. This WLS is a very personal thing for me, and I don't care to make it the topic of conversation with the whole world...only with my true friends and, of course, my friends on this board. Next time the question you, tell them to worry about what they are putting in their own mouth!!! I know everyone understands what I'm saying! JA PS And I never watch what anyone else eats...it's personal! PSS I hope no one thinks I'm being snippy...I'm just tired of people who mind other's business.

Your not a freak and you look wonderful, just keep up the good work and don't let other peoples actions bother you.