Upset with Myself

Yesteday I had a pretty perfect day eatingwise. I even drank 64 oz of water! I had been carb picking these past two weeks..and was dertermined to change my ways. Last night I went to the support meeting in Hamden and we discussed emotional eating..good topic. Went for a late dinner with Debby Marcus and friends...I ordered a half grilled chicken caesar salad. I ate almost the entire dish and was pretty shocked...but I was content..not over full. I went home..jumped on the computer and headed to bed around 11pm...as I was wiping off counters in the kitchen..one of my kids had a box of surgary cereal out...I decided to have a small bowl..not that this was bad enough..eating before bedtime..I continued to "use up the milk" by continuously adding more cereal. I subconsiously did this..and not until I felt my stomach hurt did I even think about stopping! It really scared me..I haven't had this overfilled feeling since my surgery. I soo disappointed myself...falling back into old ways. I thought surely I was going to vomit..but never did. I went to bed with the sickest of feelings...it was a very sad moment. I am not going to beat myself up about it...I am just hoping I remember that feeling when I attempt to do something like that again. It was an awful moment for me!! Thanks for listening. Joanie

Joanie, Don't beat yourself about it!!!! It does take time to "learn" a new way of eating, our surgery was a tool. That is why we have support groups and this board, to talk, vent and get other thoughts about what we are going through. Hey by the way where is our food log?????????????? Have a great day!!!!!!! Remember it's a new day! Carmen

Hang in there Joanie: Realize the progress you have made.Would you have shared this information a year ago with someone? We are all human and if you remember a few of my posts recently "I've been there and done that". I know exactly the feelings you are experiencing. Write those feelings down and try to move on and not let it get you down. Being sad and down on yourself can only set you up for another slip. You are doing an incredible job. I did the Zone diet for quite awhile and the biggest thing I learned from that is start fresh with each meal. Each meal is a new beginning and you can make things right again. Put it behind you and move on. I know my advice sounds strong and "go do it" but believe me its hard to follow my own advice quite often. We're hear for you. Carolyn

Thanks Carolyn- Those are smart words--that I plan to follow! Hugs, Joanie

Joanie -- New day, new game. Those issues about emotional eating don't go away with the surgeon's knife -- believe me, I know!! I ate something that disagreed last night too & still feel lousy. As humans, we learn from our mistakes. Some mistakes are just easier to repeat because that's what we've done for so long. Get back on the horse ... I'll do the same. Don't beat yourself up. You're still learning. XO Kathy F.

Hey Joanie, Okay!!! That was bad day yesterday! but it is not too late to go back on right track and start today . Try to come to post op support group in Middletown once a monthly on tuesday. Peter goes there too. That is right kind of support help you need to go. I will go there on Dec 7th at 700 to 800 pm for post op support group. come to learn scrapebook class at Laura M. s party on Dec 4th then it will keep your mind busy than eating something. We are here to lsiten and support you. HUGS Kathy K

I really feel such support from all of you online--its wonderful not to feel alone in this. I know I should try to get to Dr.As meetings but its quite a drive for me...my husband works nights which make things more difficult with the kids. I refuse to beat myself up over this. Thanks Kathy-- for you words of support and concern. Hug, Joanie

Joanie - Hope you're feeling better. Would you believe I spent the better part of the day throwing up? Sometimes my body really shows me the error of my ways! I don't get to support meetings as I should since my original surgeon is in NYC and it's hard to get to Bridgeport for Dr. Tran's meetings at 6:00 when I work in Greenwich until at least 5:00! I'm going to try harder though. We can be our own cheering section! Good luck Love ya, Kathy F.

Don't get upset! You are doing great! Let this be a learning experience. You are still learning how to use - and not use - your tool. Keep eating right and learn from mistakes...... Carmen

Hey Joanne, I have not had surgery yet not till January 3rd. I had said to myself that I was going to start eating differently just to prepare myself for my new life. Well I was doing great and even lost 8 pounds in two weeks. But this weekend I went to Philly to my aunt house, and my gosh did I cheat. I ate two donuts, chips, 1/2 potato ball and a spanish oatmeal. I been watching my carbs. I been weighing myself with four friends on Tuesdays and we are doing a losing weight contest to help each other($120.00). I did not lose any weigh this week but I am looking forward to next Tuesday. It's so hard to stay away from food. If I am not around it I don't miss it. Once I get around it I want it. So I try to stay away from the stuff I can't eat. Once I weigh in today I said "oh well, I did not gain". But I will try my best this week. Keep your head up and thing will fall into place. It just takes a lot of work, but you have come this far, you will make it. Good Luck!!