Hospital Stay at Middlesex

Hi guys, My drama continues with the ex. He just sent me an email stating that while I'm in the hospital he refuses to let my husband have the kids at all during my visitation time (we have joint custody but I have primary residence). He told me that he is going to come to the hospital to pretty much harass me. I realize with HIPA regulations he probably won't get any info from the hospital staff, but he can be tricky and find out what room I am in. How does visitation within the hospital work? Do you have to check in with anyone, or do you get free reign of walking around the unit? If he does show up, I'm calling security. I don't want him anywhere near me. He's pretty scary and unpredictable. I called to court to get a restraining order, but if he hasn't physically threated my life or my childrens' life, there's nothing they can do about it. Any advice? Thanks, Tammy

Tammy -- My two cents ... lawyer!! Definitely talk to hospital security & make them aware of this problem. You should not abe subjected to this kind of harassment. I would think that you would be able to get a restraining order -- after all, he IS risking your health as you recover. However, I have no experience so I can't claim to be an expert. I'm praying for you ... what a phenomenal jerk!!! Keep us in the loop and maybe someone will think of something!! Best of luck, Kathy F.

Hi Kathy - I called my lawyer already - he said not much can be done. I didn't believe him, so I called another lawyer, she said the same thing. I called the court directly to see how to get a restraining order. She said that he has to physically threaten myself and the kids to get one. In order to REALLY rectify the situation long term, I have to file papers again and get an atty. for the children, etc. Cha ching. Major. For now, I'm standing my ground and so is my family. We won't tolerate his threats and call the police if we see him in the hospital. I am up to here (I am only 5'2" but I have my hand over my head and I'm standing on my tip toes so you get the point). It'll be a lifetime battle for me - I chose badly for the father of my kids - but I will continue to truck on. He will NOT get the best of me, and I will not back down and let him intimidate myself or my family. Damn, this website is so therapeutic! Thanks for letting me R A M B L E. Love, Tammy

Hey, we're the same height! I don't know about you, but I'm tall for my height!! You've done everything you can. Hospital security I'm sure will keep an eye on things. We aren't always as wise as we'd like to be when it comes to choosing men (I have years of failed relationships, believe me!!), but you did get wonderful children -- so you got the best part of him. I have a friend who does battle with her ex over her daughter all the time, and I know how upsetting it is and how expensive it can be when the lawyers get involved. Keep coming here & gabbing. There are so many people who have such great advice on this page. We'll help you in whatever way we can. God bless! Kathy F.

Hi! So sorry to hear of your trouble...one thing I DO know...you don't have to have ANY visitor you don't want to see AND the hospital staff can be told not to give out any information...especially at the general number when you call to find out a pt's condition and phone and room number...have your Doc arrange it before you go in. They may be able to keep your room number a total secret. If he manages to make it to your room hit the buzzer right away or pull and emergency cord...anything you have to do...sure does not sound like a nice man.... You would have to haul his butt back to court for violating joint custody...does joint custody apply to your new husband too? Best of Wishes in this trying situation! Sher'

Hey Tammy, I am so sorry to hear what a jerk he is!!! It makes me so mad. I would definetly talk to hospital security first to see if they can keep him out. I don't know how Middlesex is, but at St Rapheal's my husband and other visitors just walked to the floor, then ask where my room was. Good luck and stand your ground! Don't let him interfere with your health! Carmen

Tammy I remembered when I am preparing for this surgery. They asked me if I want to let everybody know what room I will be in and give someone information. Then you can tell the nurse that you do not want your ex husband comes to your room or hosptial floor. If he shows up then Have the nurses or you will call security to get him out from hosptial. My heart pours out to you and your kids because that man is sick and needs help for himself. I hate that kind of laws which cannot protect ex wife and kids from abused, I hope they should change new laws to help more feeling safer for yourself and your kids. I am going to pray for you for this surgery and peaceful at hospital!!! Hugs Kathy K

Tammy, Do you need a few bodyguards at the hospital? I am sure we could get a few of us to surround your room. There is no getting past our strength!!! He is just jealous of your happiness and sounds like he wants you to be as miserable as he is. Sounds like you are doing great and keeping up your spirits! Phyllis

Body guards, that's GREAT Phyllis! I'll make sure everyone has a whistle and if they see him they blow. That's too funny. Can you imagine the look on his face? on his way out!

Tammy, I am so sorry to hear this. I would offer to be your bodyguard but I will be just as weak as you. Like Kathy said I think you have the right to tell the hospital who you do not want calling or coming to see you. I am so glad I will be starting law school next year because I am going to become a family lawyer and do my best to see laws like this change. Toya