My Ex

Well, yesterday was quite interesting...... I took my daughter to the doctor's office yesterday (she goes to counseling at the Institute of Living once a week). My ex showed up after specifically being told that he should not be there unless it is his specific visitation day. The doctor was a little annoyed and told him so - the girls went in to meet with her and while we were in the waiting room, with other people around, he yells at me and says...."you are a f@cking fat @ss, and one out of every 100 die from this surgery you are having and I'm rolling the dice so you don't make it." He kept calling me names, and then finally left. I just started crying (sometimes the anger gets so pent up that I have to cry instead of running him over with my car). Well, it turns out that one of the witnesses that heard him was the therapist's next appt., and told her all about it. She was so upset, she told me that if he showed up again when he wasn't supposed to, she would call security. But honestly, I felt so horrible (still do). Not that I am afraid of dying, or that this surgery won't work for me, but out of the pure embarrassment of him calling me names with others listening. I'm so glad I'm not married to him anymore - I think maybe it just brought up so much hurt that I used to put up with in the past. I have such a wonderful husband now who is supportive and loving in so many ways. I just wanted to share this experience with you all - knowing you would understand. Thanks Tammy

Big Hugs for you Tammy. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That was just plain mean of him. Be thankful you're not with him anymore and soon he will not be able to call you any names like that. Don't let him spoil all you've worked so hard for these past months. Hugs, Maggie

Oh Tammy *hugs* I am sorry you had to go through that hurt. That is not fair at all. You know, it's unfortunate that people can be so cruel, especially someone that you once loved and shared a life with. The only thing that I can see here is that your ex is still bitter, frustrated and JEALOUS that you've moved on, you are happy and you are bettering (is that a word) your life without him! I give you praise for being so strong. If someone brings you down, Tammy - just remember one word: KARMA. They will get theirs, so dontchu worry about it. Keep your chin up, keep on truckin, and SCREW everyone else! Lots of love and hugs, Tara

Don't let him be a downer on this wonderful time for you. It sounds like he's a mean, angry person, and I'm so sorry for you. Instead of feeling horrible, think about what a spectacle he made of himself and that fact that he showed his true ugly colors in front of a medical professional and people he doesn't even know. He's shown himself for what he is- a true ass. You don't look bad for that- HE does. You'll be just fine and I know that you'll emerge from this surgery and begin your new life with your children and husband a happier healthier person. I hope your children don't have to be around him to listen to things like that. He's probably particularly upset that you DARE to do something to better yourself. Well- you go girl. The best revenge is living well. best wishes, Lisa C

OMG Tammy, thank god you are NOT with him anymore..he does NOT deserve you at all. And please don't worry about the surgery. You are determined and WILL do fine......i am not sure who your surgeon is, but most in connecticut are wonderful and are very experienced. I am scheduled to have mine in December and like you, don't need others opinions. HIS is just one to ignore. Those that heard him.... have now formed an opinion about him..and it is not in his favor....so don't be embarrassed about it because HE should be the one to be embarrassed for being such an A$$. You have done what you need to do and have a wondeful companion that is there for you no matter what..thank god that things work out the way they do..and GOOD luck with your surgery...we will be losers together soon deanna

Sorry to hear about your Ex, don't worry he is just upset that you moved on and don't need him anymore. Everything will fall in place and everything will be fine with the surgery. Good Luck

Tammy...... one of the things that this surgery does in teaches us the we can and must empower ourselves. It's your time to girl. First of all, you should have gone over to someone...ANYONE... and have them call security. You should not have to wait for anyone to do what you know needs to be done. As soon as he was there and not supposed to be, what were you waiting for? You empowered him to show his a$$. Yes, it was not called for in any fashion, but you chose not to act. This is not like the commercial where they talk about a car accident being 1/2 your fault because you were there. But you, as a responsible adult who knows your ex's track record, should have taken positive action to reduce the problem by trying to eliminate the opportunity. Empower yourself. you will soon enough. Try starting now. Consider it practice. Second of all, remember that it was him that was acting like an a$$, not you. Hold your head high. It is no different than having a misbehaving child, except this one you can get rid of. Third, remember an old insult. "I may be fat but you are stupid and I can lose weight" I am sorry that any male feels that he has to treat a woman in such a fashion. No wonder we have such a bad wrap. It only goes to show that some men think hormonally with the wrong head. I hope you find someone who can treat you the way you should be treated. You have no choice to have to interact with him. The best you can do is minimize the effects of his outbursts somehow (prferably not by any kind of violence), hold your head high, and move on. Life has way too much living ahead of you to worry about the past. Peter

Oh, sweetie, what a terrible experience! I'm so sorry he put you through that. It's not enough that you're undergoing a big surgery, he has to be a complete ASS and upset you so much. He's clearly a very angry man, and clearly you're better off for having moved on from the schmuck. As far as the others around you hearing it, (1) it's a good thing, because one of the witnesses took action and I'm sure it's duly noted IN WRITING by the therapist, and (2) those people who witnessed his tirade aren't going to take any stock in the rantings of a very angry, violent man. They probably also said to themselves thank God she's not with him anymore! You know I wish you the best of luck with the surgery -- you will be fine. But I send you tons of encouragement that you and your children will be spared further pain and have wonderful lives. I can't wait to see you shine. Love & kisses, Kathy F.

Tammy- I am so sorry that you had to go through this! Better days are coming-- Joanie

Tammy I am so sorry he treated you there and is hard because you stuck with him because of your kids. He surley needs some helps for himself but please do not listen what he said to you. You are in very good hands in Dr. Aranow and you will enjoy your new life and stay alive for your kids. He will be stucker when you are thinner and more happier and he is not happy himself. By the way who is your angel? I am praying for you on that day. I will go back to work on Nov 15th and cannnot make to visit you at hospital. Hugs Kathy K