LOOKING FOR A ANGEL IN CT

AFTER DOING ALOT OF RESEARCH I FINALLY FOUND A DR. HIS NAME IS DR. TRAN . HE WAS VERY POLITE. I MENTIONED TO MY MOM THAT I WAS GOING AHEAD WITH THIS AND SHE REALLY MADE ME UPSET, I FELT LIKE A FAILURE. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THIS IS FOR ME

Lydia, You have to do this surgery for yourself, and no one else. You might want to be selective in who you chose to tell for this same reason..many people have uneducated opinions about it and will tell you so..someone from this board said it best when they would tell people that when they researched the surgery and could have an educated conversation about it, then they would be glad to talk to them about it.. ... explain to your mom that you are tired of feeilng the way you do and you have to do this for you and not her.you want to be there for your children, etc...you would hope that she could be there for you, etc, because you need family support to help you along in the progress ( and we will all be here for you too......i dont know if your doctor has any support group meetings , but if not post and we will get you some information on some...see if she will attend one or two with you...Dr. Bell in New Haven has a wonderful support group and will be meeting next Tuesday, October 5th. .. i am still preop, but let me tell you, the people in this group are wonderful and you will learn things you never knew, plus they are very supportive, so you can vent, etc..because you will definietly feel a need to because the road is a long one Good luck on your journey, and keep us posted Deanna

THANKS DEANNA, FOR THE ENCOURAGING WORDS I REALLY NEEDED THAT, MY MOM NEVER SEEN EYE TO EYE WITH ME BEFORE SHE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING NEG TO SAY. SHE'LL SUGGEST IT AND THEN TURN AROUND AND CHANGE IT. I WANT TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY.

Lydia- I experienced this with my sister-pre op. A week before my surgery, she was calling me with new diet plans, I should try before.... I repeatedly told her I needed to do this for me. I assured her I researched this and invited her to pre op meetings and appts with me. She declined. Make it be THEIR problem not yours. Its hard to hit that brick wall. People are uneducated and think this a quick fix..and the easy way out. If they really knew about this surgery..they wouldn't think that way. Ask your mother to come to a support group meeting...get her some information on the surgery. Its all you can do. Ultimately its YOUR decision. BTW, my sister is now my biggest fan...since she sees how this has worked for me and how healthy I am! Good Luck and God Bless you Joanie

Lydia, When I first mentioned to a close friend that I was considering the surgery, she said "NO"...I was very upset, but once we talked about it, she said, "I'm afraid of losing you." I told her that if I "didn't" have the surgery, she would lose me for sure. As this surgery becomes more and more popular, more people will become more educated about it. Take your mom to a support group meeting and let her read some stuff on this site. But remember, this surgery is for "YOU", so you will be able to live a longer, heathier life! Good luck! JA

This is a decision you must make, and something you do for you, noone else. The best thing you can do is encourage her to come to a support group and educate herslef. If she doesn't, just remember you don't have to have her approval. I only told 2 members of my family (my sister and my aunt) that I was going to have surgery. I told my mom the day after and I have no desire to tell my father. He was not supportive, and actually told my sis that I just neet to get off my fat a** and exercise and star****ching what I eat (coming from a man whom I have seen 4 times in 8 years!). He proceded to offer her $1,000 to loose 50 lbs and $5,000 if she got down to 120 lbs. I have not spoke to him since.... If he calls I will speak to him, but I am not going to call saomeone to be insulted and told I am doing something wrong by someone who has never had a weight issue! Sorry to ramble, but my point is, do it for yourself and noone else. If people are not going to support you, try to keep your distance, it will make your journery harder. Best of Luck, Carmen