Feeling down today...

I haven't felt like this since before surgery. I have really been up and positive about everything. But the last few days I noticed a change in myself. I know it will pass, but right now I am wallowing in it. First, I had this realization that I micro-manage everything! My husband, child, housework, work at the office...I hate it. I really don't like that about myself. I have been trying to let go and let stuff roll off my back, but I am struggling with it. I need to know every detail of every little thing, and usually do things myself because it's easier. That is so annoying! If I am this annoying to myself, how annoying am I to others? Yuck! Second, everyone around me has been p*ssing me off. That usually means it is something inside myself, something going on that I am not happy with, so I get aggravated by others. Third, my husband has all of a sudden turned into MR.Expert. He suggests how I should dress, how I should cook (which is funny since he has no clue), how I should sew on my sewing machine, even how I should work out and eat to lose weight! He was never like this before, I have asked him nicely and not so nicely to stop. But, he needs to be reminded... Fourth, and lastly, my boss has too much time on his hands and is doing some of my work now. Actually, I am supposed to be saving some of my work for my "assistant" who happens to be his daughter. Every day I come in and he has done her work. Then she shows up (when she feels like it) and I have no work for her to do. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! My life is great, and I am really happy I had the surgery. And, all of these problems are minor. I just really feel off. I am still early enough post-op to not eat compulsively, but I need to learn how to let go of the unimportant things, so that when my honeymoon period is over and I get "hunger" or "head hunger" again, I can deal without using food. I'm sorry this is so long, but I REALLY needed to vent. I do not want to yell at my boss and lose my job today.... Thanks for listening. Anne

Hi Anne. I'm sending a big hug your way (((((ANNE)))))) Do you have a counselor or someone you can talk to on days like this? Or is venting on the message board enough for you? I hope your "funk" doesn't last for too long - it's tough, I know. I'd be annoyed too about the hubby trying to tell you how to do things. I think we have a lot in common (micromanaging) and I know I HATE to be told I'm doing things wrong or how to do what I'm doing better. Bug off! That's what I say to that! You take care!!! Vent away!

I don't say Bug off, I say ____off! You can fill in the blank. I don't think I need a counselor, I only get this way occasionally. I have been to a counselor in the past and it helped. I think I'm just in a funk, and it will pass... Thanks.

Hey Anne Thank you for venting this board. I would suggest you to see counselor for yourself. I would be p_ssed off if my husband tells me what I should to eat or should go excerise and I will yell at him and will give him hard time if he do that to me... I know it is not easy to juggle everything since both of us are full time working mom. I have been there before and still I am so busy with everything. Hang in there and one time a day Try to sit down with your husband tonight and talk nicely and share your feelings to him. Big Hug, Kathy

Thanks Kathy, I will talk to him (again) tonight. Maybe if I said it really nicely, and not in the heat of the moment, he will hear me. You know, you are always here for everyone. You are a special person with a big heart. I look forward to meeting you on the 11th. Anne

Sending hugs your way. I hope things get better today. Maggie

Thanks Maggie, Actually just posting it helped. I already feel better. I just needed to vent, and couldn't vent to my hubby who is my usual victim. Anne

Anne, I am just coming out of a funk and felt really blue and depressed for about 2 weeks. I realized that it was mainly from all the changes going on in my life right now: new child in home, pending surgery, my Mom is leaving CT for good and moving to Florida. All kinds of emotions there! When things like that pile up -- it sure can knock the wind out of your sails. My good friend let me have a good cry on her shoulder, which led me to be able to talk to my family about my feelings. It was like a release on a valve and I am feeling much better even though I am still struggling with a couple of things, but at least I am not feeling hopeless or defeated like I was last week. I hope you will find that talking it out on the board or to a good friend or counselor will help. Also, take advantage of this great pre-fall weather and go on a nice refreshing walk --- I know that a good walk with some fresh air can do wonders or at least clear the cobwebs out a little. Hope you're feeling back to yourself soon! Terri

Anne, Sounds to me like you are on the verge of a breakthrough! You are realizing a negative personality trait you have and are trying to change it and you are realizing something your husband is doing that irritates you...and you are trying to deal with it. Looks to me like you are doing great mental health-wise. The people who DON'T realize what they are doing that is harmful...they are the ones who have real problems. Congratulations on your introspection and your self-realization! Ann

Hi Ann, Thanks for that perspective. It's true that when I first discover another defect in my character it is upsetting, but without awareness I cannot change. So, you're right, it is good I guess. Now if I can just get my husband to become aware... Thanks for saying that. Anne