AUGH!!!!!!!!

22 days and counting! Its ok that I am freaking out right?? Im not going to do any of the letters or anything that some people do. I have tried to write on to my little girl a few times but I just cant. In a strange way...I feel like if I write a "good bye" letter just in case its kind of like giving god the thumbs up....I IN NO WAY WANT GOD TO MISTAKE IT FOR THAT so Im just not going to write one. Is that being selfish?? I hope not! Did anyone else not write a letter?? Oh by the way...I walked by a full sized mirror lastnight...THANK GOD I AM HAVING WLS! He he eh! Love ya all! Melissa

Hi Melissa, Freaking out is completely normal. If you weren't freaking out I'd be worried! LOL. When it came down to the wire for my surgery date I became calm; was prepared, I knew what I was getting into and I felt I was a well-educated patient, and I was r.e.a.d.y. I had/have all the faith in my doctor and I knew I was in good hands. That all helped get over the fears of the unknown. I DID write letters to my son and DH (today D is not standing for Dear) just in case, but know not everyone does. Do what works for you. I got a full-sized mirror for Xmas last year, 2 months after my surgery and I still can't believe the reflection I see is my own. Hang in there, Melissa, take a deep breath, and relax. Come visit us on the boards when you need some reassurance. We're here! -Deb

Hi Melissa, I did not write any letters either. I did prepare my will, which was scary enough. But, I did not want to write a letter to my daughter (who is 5). I decided to think positively, because I too sort of felt that by saying it out loud somehow would make it possible. I was afraid up until the week before surgery, then I felt calm all week, It was really weird. The morning of surgery, laying in the pre-op section, I started wondering if this was it, my last day on this planet. My doctor came over and saw a tear in my eye. He said, "don't worry, you are not going to die on the table today." It was like he could read my mind. You do what is right for you, without worrying about other people. Only you live your life and have your family members etc...Only you know what is best for you as far as this goes. Good luck, Anne

Hi Melissa! Man, I so know what you are going thru. I have 3 little ones and the thought of something happening to me with the surgery is overwhelming. BUT, the thought of what could happen to me without the surgery far outweighs the risks for sure. I have been thinking a lot about the letter too. I have decided not to leave a letter of sadness "in case something happens." I'm going to leave letters for them all thanking them for their support, and reminding them to rest up because I'll need a lot of help when I get home. That sort of thing. I think it might be better for everyone if I do that. What do you think? And OH MAN ON MAN, do I know what you mean about the full sized mirror. I nearly fainted last week when I realized that I was looking at myself. YOU ARE GOING TO DO GREAT!!!

Hi Melissa You are having normal emotions. Going thru something like this and not being worried, we would definitely warrant a trip to the mental ward. I have 4 children and I did not write a letter to them, but I did have a big sit down with my 13 and 10 year old and told them everything I had to tell them and it was very emotional talk that I ended with Daddy wants to live to see you grow and not be homebound for the rest of my life. My 4 and 3 year old had no idea what was going on and I left it that way. As for the Mrs, I did write her a letter. It was not a goodbye letter, but a letter to comfort her while she was in the waiting room. Assuring her that by no means was this goodbye. Either way you choose is okay. There is no wrong answer to this. Good luck and I will pray that God keeps you safe and guides you thru the hard times. Keep us posted. Luis

Melissa, You need to do what is right for you. I didnt leave sad letters..I left thank you letters..telling my kids and husband I love them and how much their support meant to me. I was nervous up until a few days before my surgery and Dr. Aranow gave me a talk before he took me into the operating room. He told me I had until I was lying at that table to change my mind...it still wasn't too late to turn back. In fact he said he had one patient do just that!! I think it calmed me even more...I got on that table..not scared of anything...I was so sure I was in good hands and that this was the right thing for me. Hang in there Melissa...you will be fine. By the way..we are neighbors..I am in North Haven! Joanie

Melissa, It is normal to have all these mixed emotions. You are embarking on an adventure that has risks but also has outcomes that will change your life in ways that we can't even imagine. Wether or not you write letters is your decision and one you have to be comfortable with. Personally I didn't even consider it as I was so positive that this was what I had been searching for most of my life that I would survive no matter what ......... Take some deep breathes and your surgery will be here before you know it. Then hold on to your seat sister, you are in for a wild ride!! Linda

Melissa, I do know what you are going through, but it will all be over soon and you will be on the losing side..besides...we need you at work, so you arent going ANYWHERE !!!!! Your angel, Deanna