Sorry...Just HAD to say this...

My friend and I were talking recently and we noticed that a lot of pre-op people were saying they would be done with their particular surgeon's required support group attendances soon.  I realize that most people were probably refering to just being able to check off another daunting task on their doctor's "to do list" but for a few, it sounded like 3 meetings was all they ever plan to attend.  I know not everyone feels comfortable in a group environment, but that said, as a post-op 10.5 months out, I feel OBLIGATED to comment on this (with GOOD INTENTIONS and SINCERE CARING, of course!!).  I just hope no one takes offense. The meetings work two ways.  First, EVERY TIME YOU GO as a pre-op person, you will walk away with something FOR YOURSELF, be it a new way to work on your diet/nutritional needs, a new informational resource to help you through the pre-op or post-op process, the opportunity to learn from someone else's mistake, or simply a word of encouragement and the reminder that you do not have to do this alone.  Those who walked the path before you will hold the light and guide you through the forest.   Secondly, as a post-op person, not only will you STILL leave each meeting with something FOR YOURSELF, you will have a chance to GIVE BACK to the ENTIRE GROUP as you are then the one holding the light for others who follow.  Whether you share a success or a not-so-fond experience, you can contribute to someone else's well-being.   Finally (and unfortunately I speak from experience here) when you think you don't need the support anymore, that just might be when you need it the most. 

Remember...Support groups only work when people attend them.   What ever resource you choose, support is essential for success and I hope everyone gets what they need, when they need it.  We ALL deserve it!! Take care, Deb

In general, I agree.  I am sure that I could find studies that say that people who attend regularly have more success.  To be honest, I wish I attended more pre-op meetings and I wish I could attend more now without missing work.  My local meeting is once a month and I probably havn't been in 8 or 9 months.  Shame on me.  Again, keeping it out in the open keeps it real and enhances the chance for success.  I think that perhaps, the pre-ops you are talking about see the success of many before and think it's easier than it is.  Unfortunately, the success is the result of hard work.

BTW, do you go the the L+M group on the third Wed of each month?

Hi, Scott!

I attend the Monday meetings at Middlesex Hospital in Middletown, where I had my surgery.  And they are SUCH an AMAZING GROUP!!  HOWEVER, I have thought about checking out the New London group cause I live in Norwich and it's closer.  On the OTHER HAND, the 3rd Monday is the post-op only meeting, which I DO like.  I will probably end up checking out the L&M group and going there as a back-up for when I can't make it to Middletown.  Would the group find that exceptable?  What time is the meeting and in what room?  Also, where is the best place to park if I go? Are you going to the Spring Gala on the 8th?  If so, maybe we'll see you there! Deb

Deb my dear, just remember that some of us had to beg for time off. That is why you never saw me after my required 3. You only saw me the other week since it was a holiday. I am hoping to get another Monday off in March so you will see me then. Work is one reason I try to be a participant here on the boards. I get my support here and with so many patients of Dr. A's here I don't feel like I am missing too much.

Kathy, First off, let me warn you (and any other readers) that I am writing this reply while under the influence of 4mg of Dilaudid because I had shoulder surgery this AM.  So, if I ramble on and don't make sense, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!!! That said, you are the perfect example of someone who uses her resources to get the support she needs!!  Because you recognize when you need it and are willing to seek support and additional knowledge, I am confident that you will be quite successful at reaching your surgical goals...which is exactly the point I'm trying to make!!    My fear is that some of the people who could potentially benefit from the groups might not give it a chance because they are so focused on completing their to-do list.  It's NOT my intention to tell folks where they should get their support or to pass judgement on anyone...I'm genuinely concerned that a few folks might not even give themselves the CHANCE to GET the support in the first place.  It just seemed to me that, for some folks, attending the meetings is only a chore they are forced to complete, and they might not open themselves up to the possibility that it can be a continuous benefit for them.   Clearly, the MOST important thing is that people get the support they need, whether it's from the Internet, a counselor, friends or the support meetings.   I hope I was able to clarify my concern here.  I just want sooo much for everyone to succeed!!!! Take care and enjoy your journey! Deb

Hi Deb,

I wholeheartedly agree with you.  I was thinking the same thing after support group this week.  I understand that people have other obligations (work, family, etc.) and some simply cannot attend.  However, I think that the comments that you and I are overhearing don't reflect that.  It's more..."Yes, I'm done with this". Of course, I don't think anyone HAS to attend, I just know that I personally benefit from attending every week.  For me, it's a pretty long drive, I work full time, go to college two nights a week, and have a family.  I'm not, in any way, bashing anyone else, I just worry that maybe some people don't see the value in support group.  For me, I've gotten so much support, ideas, suggestions both pre-op and post-op.  And I hope to be one of the ones who supports and helps others.  So, Deb, I definitely don't take offense and am generally curious about those who don't continue attending sg.  I pretty much knew when I started this that I'd be attending for life.  At least, that's my plan so far.  Again, I understand some simply cannot attend but for those others who could but don't , why not?  Again, not a judgement, just curious. Jen

That's true since I did complain that I couldn't come after the required ones. I really did enjoy going to them when I could and I still do.

I work Monday nights otherwise I would go to the support group meetings in Middletown.  But realistically I have gotten and given more support right here at OH that I ever could of at a 1 hour meeting.  I have been here since 2004, and have made thousands of posts, I post on the main board generally.  I pop in over on the CT board on occasion too.  I like to try to give something back, which is why any time I have a Monday off I go to the meetings. Hugs Heidi 283.5/135