WLS and Peace with God

I have to share this with all of you. For a year I really struggled with doing this surgery. I was very afraid. The other day I was analyzing why I was so afraid and came to the conclusion that what was really holding me back the most was that I had a hard time justifying this surgery with God. I kept feeling like if I had the surgery it would be a slap in his face. I mean the word says "We are fearfully and wonderfully made" and that "The father knows how many hairs we have on our heads". So how could I mess with his design, his creation. He knitted me in my mothers womb, maybe it was my lot in life to be fat. Doesnt everyone have their cross to bear? I prayed about this for a long long time, and the other day I finally got my answer and my peace. Here is what he said to me. He said, My desire for you is perfection. I created you to be perfect, but you were born into an imperfect world and are broken by that imperfection. Some people have heart conditions and I send them to doctors to fix there broken hearts. If this was heart bypass surgery, no one would bat an eyelash at your needing it to live. Everyone would say you need this for you health you must have the surgery or you will die. But because its your weight, people think its vanity. I know your heart and I know its not vanity. I know that not once have you thought about how good you would look. You have always talked about how good you would feel, how your pain would be gone. I know you want to live to the fullest the life I have given you, without pain or sickness, so have the surgery. I am sending you to a doctor to fix your broken weight. Of course God didnt need to "say" all those words to me, he communicated this in just a single impression, but I got the message loud and clear and with it a peace that surpassed all understanding. I have thought about this alot and I was so afraid of this surgery and now I know why. I never once was bothered by the fear of dieing as a result of this surgery, I was afraid of dieing and having to answer to God why I did something to my body that he forbid me to do or did not consult him on. Maybe some of you understand that, maybe some dont. But I cant tell you how freeing it was for me to be released from this misconception of how God sees WLS. And I thought if any of you might be having some of the same secret thoughts I have been having on this issue with your creator you might just benefit from hearing this. God Bless and Give you Peace Lauren

Lauren, I agree wholeheartedly. I too dealt with those fears and after a lot of prayer and discussion with a preacher friend of mine, I eventually ended up with the exact same conclusions. God has blessed this earth with fine doctors and researchers who are made to fix the effects of a world full of evil and temptation. I know now that God wants me to take this journey. When I first thought of it, I came to it with a great deal of pessimism, but after studying the procedure in great detail and meeting with doctors, and prayer, and prayer, and prayer, my heart became filled with a sense of peace about the whole thing. Realizing that my options were few, I am on my way. Now, with fervent prayer I pray for success, for myself and for all of you who are making this journey. Thanks, and God Bless! Jim

Lauren, Let me share with this....You know I have been deaf since birth. I never hear vowels, the sounds from the nosiy world and feel left out from my deafness ( I went through by kids teased me about my speech and the sounds I talked from grammer to Middle school) I went to public school without special help. Thanks to my mom who worked so hard for me when I was young. Hearing aids do not help me because the sounds is too loud and I cannot hear any vowels from this hearing aids. I have been researched about cochlear implant but was not sure if it is working for profoundly deafness until I met people who had cochlear implant and asked them alot of questions. Now I have cochlear implant on my left ear and I can hear every vowels, can tell the man or female voices, heard from very very nosiy world, can hear background from environment and heard my kids s voices which is more important to me. I thanked god for allowing me hearing this sounds better than nothing. My cochlear implant is not restore my hearing . It is hard work to learn listen sounds and relized where the sounds from. Remember I have been deaf since birth (38 years) I am 39 years old now and have been using cochlear implant for a year now. Now I do same thing for this gastric bypass surgery. I met people from support group and asked them alot of questions and learned more about this surgery. I felt God lead me to this surgery to live more on earth and get more healthly to be around with my family who need me mostly. They cannot live without me. I am tired of struggle my weight problems for many years and know I am not looking for quick fix and know it will be hard work just like my cochlear implant is. I am ready to do it and know my lifestyle will change after I had this surgery. With all the people I met from support group , my family's supports and this Ct Message board, we all help each other and support each other when we have good and bad days . I know God is with me all the way and wants me to help other people. God bless Kathy K

Hi Lauren, When I first started investigating this surgery I wondered if it could possibly be in God's will for me to go through such a potentially dangerous surgery - I wondered if I had failed the test because I was never successful of losing weight on my own. Before long I knew my answer - this surgery is a gift from God! He allowed the technology and He wants me to be all that He created me to be. He loves me just the way I am, and He knows each and every desire of my heart. In fact, He gave me those desires. I had such a peace about the surgery - I never was anxious, I never felt scared. In fact, even the day of surgery I had a "peace that passed all understanding". In my mind I knew I should be scared, but I wasn't. I was ready, and I knew the Lord was with me. My wonderful surgeon even let me pray for him before surgery - I felt the Lord's presence, and I knew everything would be fine. Next thing I knew, I was awake and "on the other side". This has been the absolute best decision I have ever made for myself. I'm not at goal yet, and this IS hard work - I'm struggeling to lose more weight (long plateau), but I'm completely healthy, off ALL medications, no more sleep apnea, and I can run and play with my two adorable little boys that we adopted from Russia 2 years ago. Before the surgery, I couldn't even hold the little one without breaking out into a sweat. I couldn't get on the floor to play with them - I wouldn't be able to get back up. I'm very happy that you have come to peace with your decision, and that you know the Lord is there to guide you and direct you, and He certainly won't leave you now. Keep us posted on your progress - and thanks for sharing your experience. God Bless, Kathy Bilodeau Lap RNY 12/3/03 -98 lbs.

Wow Lauren, Thank you for posting this. I also have been struggling with this issue. I remember thinking way back when I first heard of stomach stapling that I could never do that to my body, but look! Here I am many years later and hundreds of pounds lost (and regained) wanting to have GBS to be the healthiest I can be for my family. God put the desire to be a mother on my heart and he led me to my 2 beautiful daughters on the other side of the world. Now I look at their precious faces and wonder what their futures will be like and praying I will be around long enough to see them well into their adult lives. While I was waiting for the referral of my 1st daughter, I became friends with a woman in Seattle who was also adopting from China. We both wanted to lose weight. I went on a diet and she had GBS. I lost 65 pounds and kept it off for almost a year after we returned from China before gaining it all back. She lost 130 pounds and has kept it off for almost 4 years now. I will be 44 next month, so in Mom years, I already have a lot of time behind me and really want to make the rest count by getting my body healthy. I know how risky surgery is and one of my fears is that I will die on the table and leave my 2 daughters motherless -- again. But if I don't have this surgery, I will certainly develop 1 or more co-morbidities that will certainly shorten my life. So I am also praying a lot on this subject and find I am coming to the same answers that you are. I see all the people at the meetings who are freed from diabetic & cholesterol meds, and sleep disorders and how healthy they all look and feel, not to mention, HAPPY! They are the testaments to how good and life-saving this surgery can be. That can't be a bad thing! It is a difficult decision to make to have WLS, and I know when it comes down to the day I go to the hospital, it will be a leap of faith that will give me the guts (no pun intended) to climb up onto that table. In the meantime, I research all I can and I go to the support groups and come here, where there are a lot of wonderfully kind people to lend an ear and lots of encouragement. Thanks again Lauren for posting your thoughts, it did help me. If you or anyone else wants to read more on the subject, I found a thread on the national board about this issue. Here is the link that you may have to copy and paste: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/question.phtml?N=n1024070545&Search_Word=christian Terri

Lauren, Thanks so much for your post. I am a Pastors wife, and have struggled for years with my weight issues. God, who knows and created me, knows my heart! He saw the gene pool I had to work with, and the traumas thru childhood. I had the same thoughts, does God want me messing with what HE created? Isn't that like saying he did a poor job?? But when sin came into the whole, everything changed. His perfect creation was no longer perfect. We struggle daily with the results of sin. Just look at the headlines!! Romans 8:28 says : And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are the called according to his purpose. I am pre-op, have a wonderfully supportive husband, an am looking forward to the day when I am able to testify that GOD saved my life, by providing the opportunity for WLS. Thanks again, you really said it beautifully! Robin R

Thank You Lauren.. God Bless Your journey Pattie

wow all I can say is Thank you that was powerful Lisa