Fear of hurting myself

I love the thought of being thin and being able to do last of things I have only dreamed of. Even though I researched this surgery for months and months and read lots of articles on it and even attend a support group every Monday. I still feel so scared of damaging myself or something not coming out right or not being able to take care of my family. I am scared of having complication years down the road and it has to do with the decision I made. I feel selfish because I want this really bad but I am afraid of loosing my family over it. And I don't mean loose that they would go anywhere but loose that I would not have the ability to take care of them and have them hate me for making their lives complicated if they have to take care of me long term. I am confused and scared. But I also want to live, I want to have a healthy body, I want to be able to dance all night, go on vacations, go bike ridding, go to amusement parks, go to the beach and swim without fear of anybody looking at me weird. I want to look and feel sexy for once in my life, feel like a women not like the fat funny good sense of humor person everyone get along with but won't hang with you because you don't fit or people stare at what you're doing so they feel embarrassed for you. I want live, live life to the fullest I want to be adventurous. I want to feel good about myself. I don't want to HIDE anymore.

You are not alone in this decision. My 9 year old summed things up for me. We sat down together and wrote a list with Pros and Cons. Even with the major "cons" on the list, she looked up at me and said..."mom, why WOULDN'T you do this for yourself?" I'm very confident in my choices of surgeons and look forward to a more healthy and active lifestyle with all three of my kids!!! Good luck with your decision!

Hi, I do understand about your fears and worried about leaving your family. I would suggest to see Dr Kim Daniels (psychologist for Dr Aranow). She is great lady and helped me with my fears. Now I am no longer to feel worry to go for this surgery because I do trust Dr Aranow to perform this surgery on me. Good Luck! Kathy K

Glenda, I had many similar fears before surgery. I have a 5 year old and my husband who count on me to be there. No one can make this decision for you, you really need to do some soul searching and as someone else posted, write a list of the pros and cons. If you are afraid of becoming disabled by this surgery, or dying, speak to your surgeon about the risks. Speak to him and let him know you are afraid. He may be able to help you there. Once you hear the actual percentages, it may ease your fears alittle bit. For myself, I thought about the quality of my life - I had all of those feelings that you have. They stopped me from enjoying my life, they kept me from doing fun things with my daughter and husband. They kept me on the sidelines, watching life pass me by. They kept me feeling sorry for myself, and I sure wasn't happy at all. They kept me feeling like the biggest loser on earth. That reflected in my words and actions with my family. My husband understood if we were going to a carnival, he would have to take her on the rides...if we went to the beach, he would have to build sand castles with her, because I hid myself as much as possible. You know what I mean. I also thought about the physical things starting to happen to me. Getting winded going up one flight of stairs; getting sore legs by the time we walked from the parking lot to the mall; the possiblity of having a heart attack or stroke before I am 50; dying young from being obese. The reason we have so much pre-op testing is because they want to know what our personal risks are for surgery. They can rule out alot, and be prepared for other things that may come up. Again, in the end, it is your decision to make, but speaking for myself, I am so happy I had this surgery, I am already experiencing the benefits. (The biggest one being able to walk into a room with my head up). Good luck to you. Anne

Glenda I hope and I pray that God may steer you in the right direction. Only he knows what is in store for you. You can only follow your heart and trust in Drs. that perform the surgery and from people that have had and people getting ready to have surgery. In the end it is your decision and as long as you have done your homework and prepared the people in your life that this is something you want to do, go with it your gut and your heart. From your testimony, it sounds like you have a lot of reasons to do it. Start with the pros and cons list and see where that leads you. Good luck and be well. Luis

Hi Glenda, Your fears are normal, but you need to have time to sort through them all. Speak with your surgeon and a psychologist for some advice and information. I never through I would go through such a drastic process to get my weight off, but once I started the process I knew this surgery was a gift from God! I was excited about it from that forward on, and I've never regretted my decision. Of course, I had no complications, had a fantastic surgeon and a great supportive husband. You need to know it is right for you, it is a decision that only you can make. I'll be praying that you come to a decision you are comfortable with. God Bless, Kathy Bilodeau Lap RNY 12/3/03 -98 lbs.