considering it and scared to death

I have been really considering this surgery lately and talking openly about it with my family who is adamant that I not do it. My husband is a financial planner and just met with a 19 year old girl who brought in insurance money from her mother who just died from having this surgery 3 months ago. Im terrified to have it and terrified not to. He says I should wait, that they dont seem to be good enough at it yet, that too many people have too many complications or die. That the jury is still out on this surgery. What I want to know is how many people are there out there that had this surgery 3 or 4 years ago and are doing great still. No complications 3 years down the road. I hear thats when the horror stories really start. Not so much just after the surgery, but years down the road is really where the trouble begins. I have not even gone to one of those seminars yet, Im still scared to death to even do that. As you can tell Im not taking this lightly, non of us does. But I have been fat for more than half my life now and Im sick of it. He says to wait, but Im still relatively healthy right now. My PB is good, have thyroid issues, no diabetes yet, high cholesterol but thats it. Health wise now would be the opportune time to do this. I quit smoking 6 months ago to prepare for this surgery. And now that Im here ready to get started I want to back out because Im scared to death that I will die either on the table or have some complication and it just isnt worth it to me for that. Am I over reacting? I really had to talk to people who understand about this because I will never take the next step if I dont. I cant even bring myself to go to one of those meetings unless I get over this first. HELP!!! Lauren M

Going to a support group is a great place to start. I felt the same way and then when I got past the media frenzy with this surgery and really talked one on one to people that have had it, I realized it is for me. Good luck, Lauren, and welcome to the CT boards!

Hi Lauren, First of all, let me say welcome to the CT Boards. You have come to the right place for information. I had my lap RNY with Dr. Robert Bell at Yale on 7/21, and I am so glad I did. I am 46 years old, have rheumatoid arthritis in my feet and have lots of difficult ambulating. Since the surgery, I feel 100% better already. Although the arthritis is hurting a lot because I am walking more than I've walked in years...but that's ok it's good pain. Consider the risks of being overweight as opposed to having the surgery. If you choose a good surgeon with a good track record (like Dr. Bell) who has done many many many of these surgeries, you will be in good hands. Like everyone else has said, you must be comfortable with your doctor. I trusted Dr. Bell from the moment I met him. As far as people discouraging you from having the surgery, listen to your heart. Also listen to your PCP. My PCP told me she thought it was the best thing I could do for my health. I took her advice and here I am..three weeks post op. It's a very personal and difficult decision to make. I wish you luck and much success. JA

Lauren: You've come to the right place. There are lots of people here whose surgeries range from years ago to days ago. Take your time looking around and always feel free to ask lots of questions. That's what the site is here for. I don't know which procedure you are considering (and, again, this site is great for helping make that decision), but here is a website of a woman who had surgery 4 years ago... http://www.geocities.com/robinh26/lapband.html Best of luck in your journey!

Hello Lauren, I understand about your overreacting. It will be more helpful for you to attend support group and ask alot of questions to pre-op and post-op people and research the doctors who performs the surgery. I was chicken off and on because I was listening to the people kept telling me it is dangerous surgery until I met alot of post op and learned alot from them. Ihad to do something with my health than going to die by having heart attack , stroke or more sicker with health problems in the future.The people who told us to not go for this surgery do not understand 100 percent about this surgery. We all know the risks of this surgery. Now I am getting closer to have this surgery very soon. I will be at support group at Middlesex hosptial in Middletown, Ct. at 700 pm to 800 pm. I hope to meet you there if you live closer to this area. I drive 40 minutes to attend this support group because the people from support group are my family because they do understand how hard to struggle our weight problems. Good Luck for your research. You can find me there because I am only deaf person who have an interpreter there. Kathy K read my profile and other people s profile are very helpful too.

Hi laruen again The support group starts this monday coming at 700 to 800 pm Kathy K

Yes, Kathy is a real peach at the meetings. I ave sat across from her many a time and talked with her about her journey. Come and meet the long term post-ops, like my wife Joanne, and ask away. Everyone there is pretty open and will answer any questions you might have. Although I am only 19 months out, Joanne is one of the longest (I think patient #26) and is now 35 months post-op. Peter

Kathy, Interesting you are deaf, I know a little sign language. Im kind of rusty, but I can get somewhat by in a conversation. My finger spelling stinks however. I get better the more I converse in sign. My husbands sisters are deaf and I learned the language the hard way. Out of necessity. I dont see them alot so I forget my sign when Im away from them but after a week of being with them Im signing away again. I understand a great deal about deaf culture as well. How is your surgery going over with them? The kind of surgery I want is the lap kind. I am currently looking for a doctor that specializes in laps and has a great deal of experience doing them. I cant be out of work for a real long time. I dont care how far away the doctor is, I will travel for a good one. I would like to go to any and all seminars that are close. I live in the Waterbury area. I would like to attend the pre-op and post-op meetings fairly close to my home. Farmington, Middlesex I guess are not that far for me. I dont intend to have my surgury in Waterbury, but I would do meetings here. Yale or Middlesex would be fine for surgery. I have this aversion to UCONN, dont ask me why, but I hate going there. It sounds odd but I cant tolerate the smell of that hospital. Strange, but I really hate it. It has a funny smell when you walk in the door. Like old feet. So tell me more, how do I find out how to go to a seminar and when they are. thank you to everyone *****sponded to me. I actually came in here a year ago after I heard about Carnie Wilson and chickened out. I tried Atkins instead. It didnt work. In my heart I know I have to have the surgery, I just need to settle the fears first. Thanks for listening. Lauren

Lauren, Well I think the first step would be to go to a seminar and listen..ask questions and you will see how wonderful the chance of having a *second chance at life* will be. The decision is obviously yours to make and this place is one place you would always get support and help. Good Luck in your decision making.. Pattie D

Lauren: I was very skeptical about WLS. I am a type 2 diabetic with a great hubby and a 4 year old son. My diabetes was out of control and I was taking a ton of meds. No matter what I did I could NOT loose weight. I am 33 years old. I started to read every book I could get my hands on about WLS. I finally asked my PCP what she thought. She refered me to Dr.Bell at Yale. I started going to the support groups and actually talking to post op people. After meeting Dr.Bell I knew what I had to do. I trusted him with my life and I still do. I had my surgery on 7/26. He gave me back my life. I am no longer on ANY meds. My bloodsugars are great. I have lost 23 pounds so far. I recommend you start attending support group meetings and reading everything you can. Find a surgeon you trust completely. Was I worried I would die on the table? A little yes but I knew it was what I had to do to get my life back. It is great to not think about food. It has to be something you are ready to do. I wish you lots of luck and peace with whatever choice you make. If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me. Chryssie