Interesting article/Observation...Weight Loss Surgery Causing Divorce?

Does Weight Loss Surgery Really Cause Divorce? I read with interest a recent newspaper article by Sue Vorenberg, writing for the Scripps Howard News Service, entitled "Gastric bypass surgery has its risks, including divorce." I'm always looking for new data about the long-term consequences of WLS to share with my subscribers, correspondents and clients, so I quickly scanned the story. My first thought -- that some enterprising researcher had conducted a long-term, double-blind scientific study and found some significant association between Weight Loss Surgery and divorce - was understandable, but wrong. While the article dramatically started by stating that divorce is a "common complication" of WLS, its bottom line, somewhere toward the end, was much more moderate in its observation that "weight loss can change the dynamics in a relationship." Duh! A Blinding Flash of the Obvious (BFO)! The article went on to note that obesity often makes people self-conscious and lowers their self-esteem. As that changes with weight loss, the social dynamics around the obese person also change, according to Joel Yager, a psychology professor at the University of New Mexico who specializes in eating disorders. I don't know how you feel about the increasing media sensationalism around Weight Loss Surgery, but I'm rapidly developing zero tolerance and taste for such nonsense and fear-mongering. Of course as a morbidly obese individual takes off their excess weight after Weight Loss Surgery their self-image and their interpersonal relationships will also change. But my experience is that this is true of virtually ANY domain in which an individual experiences growth and change. If your relationship is on shaky ground before your Weight Loss Surgery, or if you've "settled" for a less than fully functional relationship with an inappropriate partner because you don't feel you can do any better given your weight and appearance, then of course your personal transformation from a fat person to a thin person will create additional stressors in your relationship. But is the fault with the surgery, or with the pre-existing relationship? I can only speak from my own experience, both as a spouse/partner and as a coach for a number of people using WLS to achieve their health and fitness goals. My surgery has certainly created additional challenges for my wife - cooking for herself, living in a household cleansed of any junk foods, avoiding social situations constructed around food, etc. - and complicated her own feelings about her own weight and weight loss endeavors. Sometimes the sheer force of my elevated kinetic energy and body movement can frustrate or overwhelm her. But WHO I AM and HOW I INTERACT WITH HER hasn't changed despite my 180+ pound weight loss. Only my body size, eating program, exercise regimen and energy level have changed. Certainly we've had to make changes and adjustments in our life and relationship because of my WLS and weight loss, and certainly we need to keep communicating, openly and honestly, about feelings and issues that arise. But, at least in my life, the surgery has given our household a precious gift (my good health and prospective longevity) and not threatened or hurt our relationship. I know how lucky I am. I hear from angry, resentful, lonely people every week - although usually from the spouse who has been abandoned by their newly slim partner after their Weight Loss Surgery. My sense is that the same people who sign up for the surgery expecting it to be a quick fix and easy solution to their life problems - including their difficult relationships - are often the very same folks who are upset after their surgery because their Prince(ss) Charming is still acting like a frog. I have also learned, mostly from my dialogue with other WLSers, how often insecure partners or jealous "friends" try to sabotage their efforts, or simply can't accept or deal with the WLSer's successes. It IS absolutely vital to take inventory of your friendships and intimate relationships between making the WLS decision, and to determine whether the interpersonal risks of change argue against your use of the surgery. But please, no more nonsense about the correlation between WLS and divorce until and unless there's some legitimate research documenting the problem. It's already difficult enough for folks to make this potentially life-saving decision without hysterical and sensational speculations distracting and distorting the process. Glenn Goldberg, VBG 10.24.02, 360/178