RE: Drinking is an issue in my life...

My two year anniversary is July 15. I started out at 352 and currently stand at 150...however, I am bugging out because I was 140 back a couple months ago. I don't think the food isn't doing it I think it's the drinking. I have been binging, at times on a daily basis. I have read on here about a lot of people that traded food for booze. I have been making a concerted effort and am sober 3 days (the longest in a few weeks)...I am not sure if I am going to quit (PLEASE DON'T BASH ME), but I know I have got to chill or I am headed for disaster. I have been scared to post on here for fear my Surgeon will see this. I am scared that I am going to get fat again. Is anyone else dealing with this? ALso is it normal to gain back a bit, I am still well within my BMI and health limits, in fact, some people were telling me at size 4/5 at 5'9 and 140lbs. (at 150 I am size 7/9 in Juniors, 6/8 in regular sizes),at 140 people were starting to tell me that I was starting to look gaunt even though that weight too was within my weight limit though leaning towards the lower side. I am in a panic. I have started running and walking again after some time off for intestinal problems. I want to get this drinking under control b4 it gets worse. People are starting to know me as "that drunk girl". I even got myself kicked out of my owner friends bar a month ago and he won't talk to me still. God please help. I have been reading a book to help me get through. Alcohol answer and the weight questions...I greatly await a response. Thank you.

Trish, First of all, never feel embarrassed to come to the boards for help. We are all here to help each other. Do yourself a favor and take some deep breaths and think. The first thing I would suggest is some counseling..talk to someone who is a professional and can help you! This is bigger than the weight gain fear...Do you have a friend who can help? Confide in someone that the first step to recovery. I am preop, but one of MY worst fears is regaining the weight after I lose it! I wish I could help more. God Bless JA

Trish, First of all, congratulations on your weight loss!Two years out and still down so low, I am preop, but I think thats really says something. It does sound to me like you have some issues other than your weight. I mean taking the weight off was really important, but it appears you have some deeper issues that the drinking is covering. My suggestion too would be to see a counselor, or if your feeling out of control go to an AA meeting. Take it one day at a time, and if thats too long take it one hour at a time. I'll pray that the Lord gives you the strength you need and leads you in the right direction. Blessings Robin R

Hi Trish, No, I dont think you will get bashed here, but you will get honest advice from people who care. I come from a family where alcoholism runs rampant and I can tell you the best way to deal with it is to get help. You need to figure out what works for you. It might be venting to a friend, a counselor, a 12-step program, your church, etc. Admitting that there might be a problem if not now but in the future is the first BIG step, and you need to be proud of coming clean and being sober for 3 days. GOOD for you!! I still can't handle alcohol so I'm of no help there, but please feel free to email me when you need a friend. No need to go through this alone. You beat a food addiction once and if YOU want, you can do the same with alcohol. Your friend, -Deb

Trish -- You don't have to worry about bashing in our little corner of the world. What you can count on is concern and caring. I'm not concerned about your gaining back 10 lbs. -- as I understand it, it's quite common to gain a few back once you've gotten to your lowest. However, that's not your biggest issue of the moment. I congratulate you on being sober for the last 3 days ... every day/every hour that you remain sober is a huge victory for you. I agree with Deb that what you need to do, and I would suggest quickly to keep your momentum going, is seek help. That may be from a counselor (I go to one for all the changes I've undergone, among other things) or to a 12-Step program. You're not alone in your struggles; it doesn't make you a bad person to struggle with this. My addiction, other than food, has always been spending. It's different than alcohol in that it carry with it physical damage, but it has a devastating effect on your life if you let it, and I have to fight it every day, and I do seek help for it. It's another way of filling up the empty places for me, and it's not healthy so I'm working on it. I'm going to be saying prayers for you, and I really hope you stay with your sobriety -- you're on the right track!! -- and seek help so you stay sober. God bless you, Kathy F.

Hello I am proud of you to stay sober for three days!!! I know it is not easy. Please email my wonderful friend Diane White who went through alot of things.. A.A. , OA and drugs.... Here is her email [email protected] She can be your sponsor if you want her to be your sponsor. Tell her you got this email from Kathy Krewsky. Lead your faith to high power and us to help you through tough time. Kathy K

I am so glad you posted. This is the first step to getting help. You should be proud of yourself for that. We are all the same people with weight on or off..and our "issues" are still there...instead of going to food...we need to find another outlet..being pre op this scares me...drinking another "out" instead of going for food...My pscychologist told me to contact her if I needed her..do you have that access to the person who did your psych eval. I hope you get some help...I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there... Hugs, Joanie

Hi Trish, I am sorry you are having a tough time now. I have a couple of addictions too. My first when I was small was food. Then around 12 I turned to alcohol, then at 15 cigarettes. I put down the food during those years, but I got into quite a bit of trouble with the drinking, and stopped at age 21. I went to a halfway house, because I had been thrown out of every place I could live. I didn't drink every day, but when I started drinking I couldn't stop. I didn't get in trouble every time I drank, but every time I got in trouble I had been drinking. It was with AA that I got sober, and have been sober for 21 years now. That being said, I then picked up the food again, and started battling with that quite a bit, with food winning. When I finally stopped smoking three years ago, I added another 40 pounds. I know how hard it is to get control over an addiction, and alcohol was so destructive for me, personally. I lost alot of things very fast with excessive drinking. I had nothing left, no clothes, no friends, no place to live, no job, and only an abusive boyfriend, and the downhill slide happened really fast. I hope you don't mind the suggestion, but if you call the AA hotline, someone can talk with you. I would really suggest trying to get help for this. It's free and everyone there knows exactly what you are going through. It is extremely tough to quit on your own, and alittle support goes a long way. Don't worry about the weight right now. Just try to not pick up the first drink, even if you need to do it a minute at a time. Do something else to distract you until the feeling passes, and stay away from places and situations where you might be tempted. At least for a while. I hope you make the call. Email me if you want to talk further. Good luck. Anne

Hi Trish, Diane here. I am a compulsive overeater, recovering bulimic, alcoholic and had a problem with drugs at the end. I used drugs to treat the bulimia and alcoholism. I never knew that there was help and that there were many people who think, drink and act just like me I go to OA and AA. They are good to check out. Don't be angry if you can't stop right away...we often have to hit bottom before we will accept help and humility. Today my life is second to none with a great husband, meetings, I am an inventor and have over 7 years of abstinence and sobriety. It is great to not be the center of the universe...there is a Higher Power and I am not it! What a relief. 90% of the stuff that used to bug me was none of my business. So I use the 12 Steps and fellowship to help fill that hole that I tried so desperately to fill with food and substances. Compulsive shopping...yep, did that too. I would pride myself on compulsive BARGAIN shopping until I realized that material stuff was not going to fill the hole and sometimes too much stuff just adds chaos to my life. Well, I just wanted to touch base with you. Take care. Remember that admitting there is a problem is such a big step, a huge component of the solution. Thanks for sharing Trish

Trish: I think you know exactly what to you. You've already taken the first step by recognizing this might be a problem and you've let your feelings known here. When I was 10, my sister (17 at the time) was in an alcohol related car accident and is brain damaged. She is like a 3 year old, and will never be the same. A year later, 20 YEARS AGO, I lost my mother due to alcohol. It hurts the drinker, makes the liver extend past the abdomen, feet turn black, skin kinda hangs. But imagine what it does to the people around you? I was just a child and all I remember about my mother and sister are them being drunk! You need to go a step further and seek professional guidance. Like I've said, you've taken a HUGE step already, just pull that other foot up now and soon, with help, you will have control. You are the only one that can do this for yourself, everyone else will be your support system. Thank you for your post. I will pray for you! Tara