Just a little Freak Out

Just found out that my Dad is going into the hospital tomorrow and will have a needle biopsy done on his lung on Thursday. There is a 50 percent chance that his lung will collapse due to his severe COPD. He had a bronchoscopy but it was inconclusive for cancer, so they have to try this to get a diagnosis to see what they can do for him. He is not a surgical candidate for anything as his lung function is so low. My mom is overwhelmed and the "fixer", me, is dealing with it on all fronts for my family, work, home, etc. Am freaking out and can't seem to sit still, and now for the first time in a while, I can't seem to stop EATING! or CRYING! Am so worried that something will go wrong. Am still taking care of a sick man at home and not feeling that great myself. Plus knowing he can't travel, I have to leave him home to be with my Dad. Don't know just how much more of this I can actually take. I am sorry to bring anyone down who is reading this, I am so far away from surgery, but this place has been so helpful and forgiving. Thanks for letting me vent.

JA, You NEVER have to apolize for venting here...thats what friends are for. We're happy to have each other to lean on and be supportive. I wish the best for your Dad. Not sure exactly what his procedure entails, but I'll be thinking of you, and waiting to hear an update. Don't worry about eating and crying right now, do what you have to do to get by. You'll know more tomorrow. -Deb

I'm so sorry you're going thru all of this. Don't give up hope, there are amazing things that they can do now. They've come a long way in treatments. I know what you're going thru cause I've gone thru it with my mom. Please remember that we are all here to listen anytime and offer our support. You and your family will be in my prayers. Hugs to you, Mary Lou

Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear about your dear father. That is awful news. I will toss him in my prayers tonight. My mother has been gone for 20 years now and my dad is my best friend. I can't imagine him getting sick. I pray things go well for him. Just stay strong and if friends offer support (in anything at all) ACCEPT IT! You need the help too you know. Hugs and Prayers for you, T

How stressful! The best thing you can do for your Dad is pray that all goes well -- between God and the doctors, he's in good hands. I had a sick Dad for many years & I know how difficult it is. Hang in there, don't beat yourself up about eating OR crying -- I'd be doing the same thing!! It's hard to be a caretaker; the burden can seem unbearable at times. However, that puts you in a special group of very giving people who want to help others. That's a beautiful thing. I don't know if you can do anything in the midst of this that's for YOU, but it is important to try to do that, to try not to forget that you deserve care as well. I'll be praying for your Dad, and for you. Let us know what happens. XO Kathy F.

Hi NA, I went through something very similar with my dad 12 yrs ago. I had lost my mom 7 years prior to that at 53 after a 13 yr battle with breast cancer, and then my dad started having health issues. I was scared to death because he was a smoker, and I knew it wasn't going to be good news. He had surgery and radiation and unfortunately, he passed away five months later. I was so stressed, that I couldn't eat. Being a caregiver for a sick parent, is so difficult, but let me tell you, I wouldn't have done a thing any differently! I loved my folks to death! They were wonderful parents, and my only regret is that they didn't live longer to enjoy their life together. So, my advice to you, is take one day at a time. Don't look ahead, and don't compare him to anyone else. Every case is different. I will keep you and your sweet dad in my prayers. If you need us, we are here for you! Tara, I know what you are saying, my folks were my best friends too. I was devasted when my dad died. But 12 yrs later, I am ok...you never get over it, you just get used to it! Peace JA

NA, Please come here to vent any time you need to!! That's what we are here for. Seems like you are not alone in what you are going through. Many of us understand and have been through similar situations with our parents and families. Keep your chin up, take alot of deep breathes and take it one day at a time. Make the most of your time with the people you love. Letting them know how much you love them with actions and words is the best thing you can do for anyone. We will be praying for you and your family. Linda

Hey there Natasha. I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I don't know exactly what to say, except to hang in there and try to have faith that things will work out for the best. And hon, any time you want to talk, come on over for tea. I'm right around the corner. Just give me a call. OK? hugs, Lisa

Thank you all for your kind words. It is such a difficult time, but the advice to make the best of it is greatly appreciated. Sometimes in the middle of crisis I forget what is more important. I will be heading to NJ as soon as I get done with a meeting at work this afternoon (as if my head will be in the meeting anyways). Your prayers, kind words and thoughts will be with me as I travel and I will pass them along to my Father. You are all so wonderful and I greatly appreciate you all. Love, NA

Just take one step at a time. Everything happens for a reason and in time, it will all work out. I will be thinking about you and your family and keep you all in my prayers. Phyllis