Please tell me this will change

Hello and good morning everyone. I am attending the seminar with Dr. Aranow on 7/14 and will hopefully have the bypass surgery this year (I spoke to their office and if I can breeze thru my appts. and have no problems, they can give me a surgery date within 3 months). I have been looking into this surgery for years now and I am ready to do it. Anyways, I was getting dressed this morning and caught myself out of the corner of my eye in the mirror. Honestly, I just started crying like a baby. I can't believe it's me. The inner person certainly doesn't match my outer person. Please, please, those of you "on the other side"... please tell me it changes. Please tell me it will get better....I'm just having one bad morning. Oh, then I went to get my kids out of bed and whacked my head so hard on the bunk beds, I nearly passed out. Having one hard day!!!!

Hi Tammy, I am sorry you are having such a tough day. I hate those. I am only one month post op, and people are already commenting on the weight I have lost (30#). That's nice, right? But I too feel like you. I have been enjoying their remarks, but then I saw my reflection in a window accidently, and thought "MY God, I am HUGE!!!" How can I feel good about myself when I look like this? So, I hope it will get better too! I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Anne

Hi Tammy, Breathe. It DOES get better. It takes time, but it does. I'm 8 months out and carry a picture taken of me the weekend before surgery and every now and then I'll pull it out and I'm amazed at how big I let myself get. I felt exactly like you, the inner person didn't match the outer person, even though I THOUGHT I felt good and that my weight didn't affect my life. Boy oh boy, was I ever wrong. You'll feel the same way, all in good time. That picture is on my profile, in my purse, on my fridge, in my car just so I can remember where this journey started at. I also had Dr Aranow and I feel I owe him so much...he gave me my life back. Hang in there!

Hello Tammy, Welcome to WLS Ct Board Message !!! You will find all of us supports, listen your vent and give you honest advices. I am Dr. Aranow's patient too. I am processing for tests now. To be honest with you, Having this surgery is not quick fix and it will be you do hard working like more active in excerise, eat right foods, go group support ( there will be group support every mondays except not first week of monthly at Middlesex hosptial for Dr. Aranow s patients at 700 pm to 800 pm) I will be there next Monday. You have to deal your hunger minds as all of us do deal with that. You can meet post-op people and listen their experience and give you some advices for pre-op people like I am. You know Dr. Aranow is very strict about losing weight before he will do it for you. I hope to see you at Group Support next monday and you will meet new people there. We all do have low self esteem with our bodies but we will learn to love our bodies later after losing weight. One time a day SMILE!! Kathy K

Hi Tammy! Sorry your having a bad day!! Mine didn't start off great either. I just pulled out of my driveway this morning when I felt a flat tire!! ? Ughhh! Thank goodness my husband was home to take care of it. Anyway, it does get better. I had surgery on Jan. 26th, 2004 with Dr. Aranow. (He's the best!!!). I've lost close to 95 lbs. so far and I feel absolute terrific. It's funny but I actually take the time to look in the mirror now and see a big difference. Of course plastic surgery will have to come into play someday but for now I'm really happy with the results. I've never regretted having the surgery. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I've noticed so many things since I started losing weight. I can now fit in different types of chairs (without fearing I'd break them), restaurant booths and movie theatre seats. I can walk so much easier and farther than ever before without huffing and puffing. You'll have that too someday. Don't feel discouraged!! You're now on the right track and soon you'll be joining the rest of us on "the other side". If you'd like to talk to me further please email me at [email protected]. I'd be glad to answer any questions you may have. Keep your head up and soon you'll be on your way to a whole new you!!! Take Care! Lucy

Thank you so much for your responses. It's exactly what I needed, not to feel so alone. I'm on the right road, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Do you know if I would be able to go to the support meetings with Dr. Aranow's patients even though I haven't had surgery yet or have gone to the seminar? I think it might really help me now. It's kind of difficult not to be with people who "understand" you. I find this message board and web site to be a God send.

Tammy, you are still welcome to group support anytime while you are waiting for your seminar in July. Meeting post or pre people will help you to understand about this surgery better hope to see you next monday Kathy K

You know, the months leading up to my surgery were the absolute hardest for me, in terms of my body image. I was just disgusted with myself. I think that I finally opened my eyes and SAW for the first time the obese woman I was. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had gotten myself into this position and now I couldn't get out of it without surgical help. I was so depressed and literally disgusted with myself. Somehow, just admitting that I was in need of help and I was too fat to do anything myself opened this floodgate. I had to actaully admit, rather than be in denial about just who I was in terms of my self image. You may be experiencing some of the same. For what it's worth, I think it was a good thing to go through. It really put the loosing side of things into perspective and made me appreciate every ounce I lost. It does get better! Hang in there. Go and look at the before and after pictures for some inspiration. Best, Lisa C