Getting closer

When I said better body, I meant it as healthier, stronger, not a size 6. I really don't care about winning a beauty contest, I just want to be able to go out and not think about fitting into a chair or getting a seat belt on. I think part of the reason I sound more anxious than most (aside from being diagnosed with social anxiety disorder) is that I have absolutely nothing to compare to my life now, with how it could be were I thin. I have never, ever been a normal weight, nevermind thin. When I was 7, I weighed 140. At 17, I weighed 340. So I have no concept of how fun it might be to ride a rollercoaster or go snowboarding or go clothes shopping. I only know that maybe I can do those things after. The people I've talked to so far were actually stunned with how much I knew. I've been researching this since January, so I know the risks and benefits. And I would much, much rather my death come through a positive thing, rather than a heart attack in the drive thru of McDonalds. But that still doesn't change the fact that on that day, its possible I won't come back. This is actually a relatively new feeling, being afraid of death. Just started in the past week or so.

I certainly understand how you feel about not knowing what it will be like to be thin. It is one thing that takes some time to realize - even after you have lost a significant amount of weight! I hope I didn't make you feel defensive - I just wanted to be sure you felt ready for the surgery - no matter what. I'll be praying for you, and really hope you attend the 6/12 get-together so we can meet. God Bless, Kathy Bilodeau

I just reread my reply, it did sound defensive *lol* sorry! I was on the phone at the same time, I was just trying to get out the bare bones of what I was thinking I might be able to go to the meetup, but I may be in Vermont at the time.. I hope I can though!

Ashleigh: Welcome. It sounds like you have done your homework. There is tons of info on WLS. I am still pre-op also. I have days were I "re-think" my choice to go forward but in the end I know it is the best thing I can do for myself. I wish you all the best on your journey. It would be great to meet you if you are able to go to the get together on 6/12. Chryssie