Help help help

Hi all. I've been a frequent visitor to this site, but have never posted. I had my surgery with Dr. Bell a week ago today (4/5) and everything went GREAT. I came home on Thursday and physically I feel pretty darn good. But emotionally I'm struggling with this a LOT. Thinking "oh my god what have I done" as I watched my whole family enjoy easter dinner. I'm starting to think I wasn't emotionally as prepared for this as I should have been. Any advice? suggestions? Anyone else go through this. Feel free to email me at [email protected]. Thanks so much

The first thing you need to know is that what you're feeling is TOTALLY normal. I don't think there's a person on this website who hasn't had that feeling in the beginning stages of recovery. It's very hard to see foods that you love and not be able to eat them. When I was home I had to avert my eyes when a TV commercial for pizza came on; it was too painful! That being said, it WILL get better. When you're eating regular foods again, you'll be able to satisfy some of those hunger feelings, AND the cravings for other foods start to fade. You'll also be losing weight quickly & you'll start to concentrate on the positive feelings of losing weight & not so much on missing certain foods. In time, you'll be able to eat small amounts of many different foods, so the days of enjoying something you eat are not lost to you forever. I promise!! Hang in there and post to let us know how you're doing. Kathy F.

Kathy I can't tell you how much it meant to me to read your posting. I really needed someone to tell me that someday (not today or tomorrow or even next week, but someday) I will be able to have normal food. I'm terrified (totally irrational I know) that I will only be able to drink ensure and eat scrambled eggs for the rest of my life. Eating a WHOLE pizza got me into trouble. But I just need to hang on to the hope that I will be able to taste it again. Did you have surgery with Dr. Bell? Thanks again Mary

I had surgery in NYC at Lenox Hill with Dr. Mitchell Roslin. He's the partner of the surgeon who did Al Roker's surgery, and he was on my insurance plan, so I figured why not shoot for the moon? He was great; unfortunately, I had complications and had to have a second emergency surgery at Bridgeport Hospital for a leak, but it's all like a blurry memory for me now. I can eat just about everything in small doses (word to the wise -- don't eat sugar-free jelly beans to excess -- it'll cost ya!) as long as it's not too rich. I'm a slow loser, but I'm doing a whole lot better than before I had the surgery, and feeling a whole lot more positive than I did in the first month after the surgery. I had all the same fears you have & now they're a distant memory. I'm able to enjoy food and lose weight. It's a beautiful thing!! Kathy

My surgery was almost 2 weeks ago. I to am doing good physically but am riding the emotional roller coaster.

Been there! I had surgery right before Thanksgiving in 2002. It was a miserable time to sit there and smell that wonderful food and watch everybody eat it. My MIL was nice enough to make a wonderful turkey soup that I could eat. It was heaven to me, so I was consoled a bit. I'm here to tell you, DON'T WORRY! It gets better. Next year, you'll be eating right along with them. You'll just be eating differently than you did in the past. Hang in there. lisa C

Hi Mary, I had my surgery the week before Thanksgiving in 2003 (only 5 months ago) and I wondered the same thing. However, it did not last long. Actually, the food looked so heavy to me that it was not appealing. Now 5 months later, I don't want or miss large amounts of food. Easter was a pleasure because I ate things that I enjoyed and felt great afterwards, my family, however, were too full and unconfortable. Your feelings are normal, and I promise that you will feel differently at your own pace. I remember feeling like I want food so much but get so full so fast that I can't enjoy anything. Even now, I look forward to a certain meal and feel full before my taste buds are done!! Don't worry, it all works out in the end. Lets have this conversation about 2 months from now and see how you feel. Love

Mary, I remember being really mad at my wife for leaving out some pasta she and my kids had at one point just after surgery. It was calling my name. Now I am 10 1/2 months post and I had Easter dinner with ham, some veggies, a small amount of potato and a 1/2 a brownie for dessert. My plate was smaller than all of the adults and some of the kids. Yet, I felt completely satisfied (maybe a tad guilty eating the brownie but I am working on that). Post op life is full of many twists and turns but all turn out for the best. It gets better and better even if it is hard at times. You will make it. Dave lap RNY 5/28/04 Robert Bell, M.D. YNHH 274 high 264 day of surgery 141 current ??? goal

Mary, As everyone before me has said it does get better..... I must say that I didn't really feel left out at my first Thanksgiving (2 weeks after my surgery). I was so glad to be eating some soft food that I didn't care what everyone else was eating!! I did make a sugar free pineapple cheese cake from Susan Maria's site to bring with me. I was able to eat a taste of it and everyone else gobbled it up. Since then I have not found it difficult to eat most anywhere I have gone. In fact I really had little problem in New Orleans and I ate delicious meals and even lost weight while there!! I have been lucky and I can eat anything that I have tried. I just chose to not eat bread, potatos (after the first couple of weeks), pasta and rice. I don't miss them and trust me I was a big starch eater. This may change some day but right now I am very happy with what I eat. I can also say that my taste buds have definitely changed and that is weird sometimes. I like garlic salt in my cottage cheese and my tuna fish.... I think that food has to have flavor in order for me to waste my time and calories on it!! Hope this helps and you will find it easier as time passes. Linda